Rewrite
by justaminuet
Summary: L x Misa. A moment in time. A chance meeting. Fate turned upside down.
1. Cradle

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. I'm still waiting to see if my claim for L/Misa is okay. Even if it isn't, I'll probably do this story anyway, just because I think it's a fun idea, and there's simply not enough L/Misa love going around. This is an AU, and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 22: Cradle **

If there was one thing Misa would not do, it was cry. She would sit so still as to make the people around her think she had stopped breathing, she would stare straight ahead at nothing, and she would clench her fists so tight that it would leave little crescent shaped cuts in her palms. But she would not cry. Her mother always told her she looked terrible when she cried.

And Misa-Misa was always supposed to be pretty and happy.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself. As long as Misa held onto that mantra, the hushed voices around her weren't so noticeable. Not so irritable.

She had come home the night before to police sirens and yellow tape and people asking her to step away from her home. A botched burglary, they had said. Her parents had been home at the time, and though Misa had already known the answer, she still couldn't help but ask the question, hoping to be wrong.

"Where are Misa's parents?"

The officers at the scene had glanced uncomfortably at each other, before finally giving the young teen a pitying look. And that had been enough of an answer, really.

Now hours after the murder, Misa found herself sitting in a cold room at the police precinct. They said she might need protection. She was an up and coming model, after all. Even if she had only done a couple magazines for now, there was always the chance that the burglar had really been a stalker. Misa felt rather infuriated at the idea that somehow, someway the police were indirectly blaming her for the whole thing. She knew they weren't, really, but that's how it felt in her heart, how it tasted on her tongue when she spoke a few times to the officers who wouldn't leave her be.

She lost track of how long she had been sitting on this hard, wooden chair. She was beginning to not care anymore. Not care about anything. Numbness was a welcome change of pace, and she embraced it like an old friend.

Someone had mentioned that a detective was coming. The buzz that was going through the office was because of him. From the bits and pieces of conversations that Misa picked up, he was up and coming in his field, too. A supposed genius, and usually wouldn't bother with a simple burglary and murder case. But he was apparently a fan of Misa-Misa, and therefore volunteered to help. This was a good thing, an officer told her, with an encouraging smile. For sure, they would get the culprit now!

Misa forced a smile for the man, but said nothing, and then went back to her own train of thoughts. Unless this genius detective could bring back her parents from the dead, she failed to see how this was a good thing.

Her view of the dirty, tiled floor of the room suddenly was obscured by two bare feet, and oversized jeans. It was such an odd sight, Misa made a tiny squeak of surprise, before slowly lifting her gaze. Black eyes greeted her; dark circles from lack of sleep ringed them, causing them to appear larger. Messy black hair swished, as the person tilted his head, nibbling on his thumb and watching her intently. In his other hand was a coffee cup that he was tapping in rhythm with his pinky.

Unable to help herself, Misa raised a brow, feeling for all the world that the strange boy in front of her was trying to undress her with his eyes. Pervert!

"Misa-san," he greeted, voice odd, but pleasant. "How are you feeling?"

Well, that was a stupid question! She didn't know who this guy was, but he was obviously an idiot. Still, she answered as kindly as she could, "Misa is fine."

"Are you?" He knelt down then in a hunched position, on his tip toes so he was now forced to look up at her. "My name is Ryuuzaki. I'm going to be helping with the investigation."

She looked at him incredulously. "You're the detective?"

He smiled at her then, with this strange, almost eager smile that made her clench her skirt tighter. "That's right. Iím a very big fan of Misa-Misa. So, I..." he took a sip of his coffee, and his face scrunched up in disgust. He turned a little, and said to no one in particular, "I'm sorry, but could I trouble someone for sugar?"

"How much?" asked a female officer, who had already been walking to get her own cup refilled.

"All of it." When the officer spun around with surprise, Ryuuzaki smiled almost apologetically. "If you please?"

"Sugar is fattening," Misa told him, feeling the need to say something, anything. Being silent was suddenly getting to her.

"But it tastes good," he pointed out. "And sometimes that matters most."

"Misa's mom said it's bad, and you shouldn't eat it much. Misa's mom was never wrong."

He looked like he was going to retort to that, but stopped when he noticed the strained expression on her face. "Mothers are usually right," was his final reply.

Misa nodded fervently. "Misa's parents were good people. They were good."

"I'm sure they were," he said, smile gone and eyes now void of the soft amusement they had before.

"Their anniversary is-was next month. Misa was saving up to give them a vacation." She didn't know why she was telling him this; it just felt so good to let it all out. To feel the tension and the pressure slowly leave her chest with each word. "Somewhere nice and warm. Mom liked warm places."

He wasn't speaking anymore, she realized. He was just letting her talk now, and she suddenly wanted to tell him everything. Just to get it out, and be done with it. So, she did. In one big, painful rant, she told him how her parents liked to go to festivals every year together, calling it a "date," and how they'd come home with slightly too much sake in their systems, but that was okay because they would still hug and kiss her goodnight. How her dad would call her princess, and how her mom told her she looked cute in pigtails. How her dad had a beat up motorcycle he had always wanted to repair, but her mother would fret over him getting hurt on it.

How the day before Misa was supposed to come home early to spend dinner with them. Instead, she had spent the entire afternoon with her friends, forgetting about her promise to them. And when she had remembered, she had felt so guilty and embarrassed, that she had worried over their reaction to her lateness all the way home, and couldn't bring herself to call them from the cell phone they had bought her.

"Misa should've died, too," she concluded, her voice so soft she barely heard it herself.

"Would your parents have wanted that?" he asked, almost conversationally, as he turned to the police officer who had returned with the container of sugar packets. He grabbed a handful, ignoring the look of distaste the officer made. He began to rip them open eagerly, pouring the sweetening stuff into his coffee with a practiced ease. "I can't claim to know parents really well, but they usually don't want their children dead."

She flinched. "Well, no- They wouldn't have... But, I still..." She had been watching him sweeten his coffee as an excuse to focus on anything but his inquisitive face, but now she found that everything had become blurry. Wiping her eyes only temporarily solved the problem, and when Misa pulled her hands away she found them wet. She was crying. She had tried her hardest not to, and she had still ended up crying.

Somehow, this made her cry harder. She couldn't bring her parents back, couldn't stop this feeling of being lost, couldn't stop this anger that was building in her chest... Couldn't stop the hot tears from spilling down her cheeks.

At the moment, she couldn't do anything but make pitiful noises, and cling to her skirt in frustration.

Ryuuzaki gazed on awkwardly. Clearly, comforting people was not his forte. Hesitantly, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Um, Misa-san?"

With a hiccupped wail, she lurched forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and successfully toppling him backwards. He caught himself before he fell completely on his back, but that left him with a crying idol in his lap, her face pressed into the crook of his neck and shoulder. He gazed to his left, and noticed her outburst had knocked over his coffee. He frowned with dismay. He had sweetened it so well, too.

Another loud sob brought his attention back to Misa. It was hard to ignore a woman who was not only laying on top of you, but was breathing hotly down your shirt, whether she meant to or not. Especially when that woman was someone you happened to buy magazines you never really read just to have that pretty fold out of her in that pink frilly skirt.

Still, something had to be done. This was quite the scene, and he didn't like the attention they had managed to attract from everyone around them. Besides, it bothered him to see someone quite so devastated. Nobody had the right to ruin another person's life. He would make sure he found the person who did this, and make it so she wouldn't need to cry over it again.

"Misa-san," he said softly, and for her ears only. "I'll find their killer. I promise."

She said nothing for a few minutes, but her crying began to slowly ebb. Finally, after a shuddering breath, she whispered, "Will you kill him?"

He didn't hesitate, or even flinch. Revenge was a usual instinct for victims, after all. "No. But I will bring him to justice."

"I'd rather him dead," she admitted, darkly. She pulled away, face flush from crying. "But... Misa will settle for justice."

He nodded, flashing that odd smile of his again. "Then justice I will give you."


	2. Our Own World

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. I'm still waiting to see if my claim for L/Misa is okay. Even if it isn't, I'll probably do this story anyway, just because I think it's a fun idea, and there's simply not enough L/Misa love going around. This is an AU, and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 8: Our Own World**

Misa had gotten used to the random phone calls at all times of the day. At first, it had been rather annoying, and she'd yell at him for bothering her in the middle of a photoshoot or interview. His excuse was always the investigation, but she'd still call him a pervert because she _knew_ he just wanted to hear her voice and think lewd things. Naturally, this repeated accusation was always met with the same long silence on the other end of the phone, before a calm Ryuuzaki would reply, "I don't know why you have that impression about me, Misa-san."

So frustrating was it at times, that one day she decided to call back and give him a piece of her mind. It was only then that Misa noticed that he called her from different phone numbers each time. And the last number she had in her phone's memory had been disconnected. She suspected she'd get the same response from any number he had used previously.

But when the burglar was caught, Misa thought that it was the end of her talks with the odd detective. She found herself rather depressed over it. He called at the worst times --he did it on purpose, she was sure of it-- but it was nice to have a new constant in her life. It was stabilizing. There was nothing to be done, though. And true enough, her cell phone stopped ringing.

Until one night at around three a.m., when she was awoken from a sound sleep by the telltale ring of her cell. Misa was sure it was ten times louder than it normally was (or was that her need for rest talking?), and she nearly dragged herself out of bed to snatch the offending thing off her dresser.

"Yes?" she grumbled.

"Ah, Misa-san," Ryuuzaki's voice was pleasant, and far too alert for her taste. "You're awake."

"I wasn't five minutes ago!" she fumed. "Don't you know what time it is? Why are you calling?!"

"Hm? Oh, well the case I'm working on now is rather boring," he explained. "So, I thought I'd see how you were doing."

"...At three in the morning," Misa stated, flatly.

"Yes. Is this a bad time?"

"It's three in the morning, Ryuuzaki-san! Of _course_, it's a bad time!" she howled, hoping against hope that she was at least causing him ear damage. "Misa needs her sleep! I can't think at this time."

"Really?" he said, sounding surprised. "I find I think best now, since it's so quiet."

"That's because normal people are sleeping now," she retorted.

"They're wasting time. So, how is Misa-san?" he asked, good-naturedly.

She scowled. "Didn't I just... Misa doesn't believe you called because you were bored! Misa thinks you called because you want to picture her in her lingerie!"

"You sleep in lingerie?" The question was asked innocently.

Misa didn't take it that way. "Ryuuzaki-san really is a pervert!"

"That's not fair, Misa-san. You were the one that brought up your sleep garments," he pointed out.

She puffed out her cheeks in embarrassment and frustration. He was right, of course, but she'd be damned before she gave him that satisfaction. Instead, Misa released the air in her lungs, deliberately blowing hard onto the phone's receiver, and felt a childish bit of glee when she heard him hiss at the unexpected static.

"That was a very immature response, Misa-san," he muttered, sounding rather put off.

"Serves you right, waking poor Misa up," she told him a matter-of-factly. "And only because you say you're bored."

"Well, if you really are tired, then I'll let you go back to sleep," Ryuuzaki offered.

"No!" Misa said, a little too quickly for her own comfort. She sighed, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "Misa is fully awake now, anyway. Besides, you haven't called in a while," she stated, a little down. "Misa thought you forgot about her."

"Not possible," he said, almost off handedly. "But it gets rather difficult to find time to do something like have a casual conversation when I'm handling work."

"Hmmmm," Misa pursed her lips, pondering the situation. "Is Ryuuzaki-san _that_ wanted a detective? You have many cases?"

"I'm kept busy," he deftly avoided a complete answer. "But it seems Misa-san is also quite busy. I've seen the cameos you've done on television lately."

"You have?" she perked up, delighted and proud. "Misa is being asked to do a lot of TV shows right now. Manager-san says this will be very good for Misa's career."

"It should be," he agreed. She heard him fiddle with something, making a light clanging sound she couldn't identify. "Misa-san is a very talented actress."

She beamed, even though he couldn't see it. She, like any other celebrity, liked having her ego stroked. Misa liked being liked. "Yes. And Misa is working very hard to be even better for when she gets a movie role!"

"I look forward to that," he told her. She heard the metallic sound again on the other end, this time with a sharper edge to it.

"You'll go see my first movie?" Misa tried to picture Ryuuzaki in a movie theater, but all that came up was a scene of him perched oddly in his seat, while the movie goers behind him threw popcorn, and demanded that he sit like a normal person.

"Of course," he answered, his voice sounding strangely muffled for once.

"Misa would like that," she admitted. She stared across the room, her eyes catching the glint of a picture frame's edge in the moonlight. And even though she couldn't see the picture itself, she knew what it was, the smiling faces that it held, and she felt a wave of cold wash over her. Her mood changed drastically. "Ryuuzaki-san?"

"Yes?" he said, and she could tell he had picked up her mood swing. He sounded cautious.

"Their murderer still hasn't gone to trial," she stated, frowning. "Why? Why hasn't he?"

Ryuuzaki hadn't called her after the burglar had been found. One of the regular officers on the case had. And now, almost a little over a month's time had passed, and he had yet to stand trial. Time and time again, his lawyer would figure out a way to stall the case. For Misa, it was like learning about her parents' death all over again.

"I'm sorry, Misa-san" Ryuuzaki began, sympathetically. "All I could do was find him, and bring him in. I don't control the courts."

"But you're supposed to be a great detective!" she cried, suddenly feeling her anger rise. "That's what Misa was told. Didn't you find evidence against him? You have proof that he did it, right? So, why can't they just put him in jail?"

"Yes, there's proof," he conceded. "There's no doubt in my mind that he is the killer of Misa-san's parents. But, justice doesn't work like that. You can't just lock people away without allowing them a trial to defend themselves."

"Even if he deserves it?" she snapped, clenching her free hand into a white-knuckled fist. "He deserves it!"

"Even if he deserves it," Ryuuzaki said, calmly, "justice cannot be rushed."

Misa seethed. "Misa hates your justice! She hates it! It doesn't work!"

He was silent for a long time after that declaration, and Misa wondered if he might have actually placed the phone down. Finally, she heard Ryuuzaki take a deep breath before saying, "Misa-san, if we simply punished everyone we thought deserved it, we would soon become no better than the criminals who received the punishment. It would be far too tempting to go over the line; to push the boundaries, and become nothing more than murderers ourselves."

She narrowed her eyes. "Even for you, Ryuuzaki-san?"

"I believe I too would not be able to resist the temptation of abusing such power," he told her. "Anyone having that much power would be dangerous. Even someone who was entirely virtuous would most likely become corrupted by circumstances sooner or later."

Truth be told, Misa knew what he meant, where he was coming from. She knew that Ryuuzaki was correct. And yet, she couldn't help but hold on to the anger that had festered since her parents' death. After all, they were dead, her precious, kind parents, while their murderer still walked the streets like it was nothing, as he played the system for all it was worth. It made her ill.

"I should let Misa-san get some sleep," he interrupted her thoughts.

"Don't go, Ryuuzaki-san," she pleaded, gripping the phone tightly. "Misa hasn't talked to anyone much for a while. Not a normal conversation, anyway."

"Is this a normal conversation?" he sounded truly puzzled.

"No," she admitted. "But, it's close enough."

"Ah."

"Misa just wants to hear someone else's voice. I've heard my own too much lately," she said, her righteousness slowly deflating, and giving way to a slight depression.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, curious.

"Can you talk about your case?"

"No."

"Oh," she frowned, but wasn't really surprised with the answer. "Then... What do _you_ want to talk about, Ryuuzaki-san?"

"Me? Well, we can talk about this cake I just bought today at a bakery I found nearby."

"Cake?" Misa repeated, completely confused.

"Yes, cake. I've come to the conclusion that people would be far happier if they ate more sweet things," he explained, for all the world sounding like he was stating solid facts. "I've never seen a person less happy than they were before they had cake."

"Misa doesn't eat cake," she scrunched her face up. "It's very fattening."

"You don't eat cake?" Ryuuzaki sounded slightly horrified. "Almost everything is fattening, if eaten incorrectly."

She placed a hand on her hip. "How do you eat cake 'correctly?'"

"You enjoy it, of course," he replied. "This cake is especially good for that, because it has a nice buttercream icing. They put a lot on it, so you actually get a few fork-fulls of icing before even touching cake."

Misa's mouth twitched. He sounded almost... Childishly happy over it. She blinked when the clanging sound resounded again on Ryuuzaki's end. "Ryuuzaki-san?"

"Yes?"

"Are you eating that cake now?"

"Yes."

She made an involuntary sound of disgust, as she glanced at her clock. "It's almost four in the morning!"

"It's very good cake," was his response.

"No wonder Ryuuzaki-san can't sleep!" Misa flared. "You eat too much sugar."

"I really don't think that's possible, Misa-san," he said. "I sleep when I wish. I simply have no time for it."

"But you have time to wake Misa up in the middle of the night?" she challenged.

"I'd rather talk to Misa-san than sleep," Ryuuzaki admitted.

Despite herself, Misa blushed a deep crimson at the remark. She was used to compliments, considering her line of business. Still, it was unexpected to receive one from that wasn't connected to her job. "Really?" she questioned, a little bubbly.

"Of course," he said, oblivious to the affect of his previous remark. "Talking to Misa-san allows me to continue to work later. And I can't eat cake sleeping."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line.

"...Misa-san? Did you fall asleep?"

"Ryuuzaki-san?"

"Yes?"

"You really don't know how to talk to women."

"Hm?" he said, and she heard him take another bite of cake. "Really? I've never noticed."


	3. 10

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30kisses. Yes, it was approved. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an AU, and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 10: #10**

The night Misa had been assaulted by a stalker she had locked herself into her apartment, and had huddled herself into a corner of the living room, a kitchen knife held tightly in her hands as she watched the door intensely. The man might have stumbled away before he could attack her, but that didn't mean he couldn't have followed her home. She wondered if she should've gone someplace else, but her apartment was the safest place in the world to her. At least, it had been.

The second day after the assault, when she was sure the man wasn't going to come jumping out of the shadows, Misa called her older sister and spilled out each horrifying second to her. Her sister demanded that she call the police. She reluctantly agreed after a long argument, and found herself in the familiar situation of giving a statement, and the new situation of looking through photos. She had found him in the second row of the fifth set of pictures they had shown her. A man no older than thirty, who apparently had been arrested once before for assaulting an ex-girlfriend, but had no other record. Misa decided that she hated him, and secretly wished horrible things upon him.

The third day after the assault, Misa called her manager and told her she needed some time off. When she was yelled at, Misa managed to explain the situation in the only way Misa could; by screaming as high-pitched and squeaky as possible. With a couple sniffles in there for good measure. This method was rewarded with the time off she desired, and a murmured, "Come back soon," before her frazzled manager hung up.

The fourth and fifth days after the assault, Misa held up in her apartment, huddled underneath thick blankets that she had pulled out of her closet. Somehow, when she cocooned herself in the comforters, when she made it impossible for her to see the outside world, she found a bit of safety in the allusion that she was the only person who existed.

The sixth day after the assault, Misa got a phone call from the police. The suspect she had pointed out to them had died of a heart attack only a few hours after she had been attacked. They apologized that they couldn't question him, but if she was still positive that he was the man who had assailed her, they would consider the case closed. Feeling numb, Misa told them that yes, she was sure he was the attacker, and then hung up. Death. He had died. The numbness slowly made way to a morbid satisfaction. Death was its own justice.

The seventh day after the assault, Misa went back to work in full force, proclaiming that she was better than ever. She smiled brightly for any camera that popped up in front of her, and she agreed to any audition her manager suggested. Life was good for Misa-Misa.

The eighth day after the assault, Misa found herself glancing at her cell phone more often than usual, waiting for it to ring from a caller that was unknown to everyone around her but herself. But it never rang, and Misa found herself bitterer over it than she cared to admit.

The ninth day after the assault, Misa celebrated her mother's birthday by making herself a single cupcake, that she ate sans icing because that was fattening, regardless of how a certain someone who she was very angry at for the moment would say. She sang happy birthday to an empty room, and blew out the candle in her mother's stead. As the smoke rose, she could almost hear her mother tell her she had such a pretty voice.

The tenth day after the assault, Misa's phone rang, and a deep voice greeted her in its usual way. Misa answered back with screams and accusations. Why hadn't he called earlier? Didn't he know what had happened? He was the genius who knew everything, wasn't he? So, how hadn't he known to call her? _How dare he not call her?! _

And after a good ten minutes of verbally ripping him apart, with her voice sore and her eyes puffy from tears she was glad he couldn't see, he finally replied, "Happy birthday, Misa-san."

Mind swimming, she muttered, "What?"

"Misa-san's mother's birthday was yesterday. And Misa-san's birthday is today. Correct?"

"Well," Misa closed her eyes, trying to clear her thoughts. She had forgotten, hadn't she? She used to be so good at these things, too, because it meant a big double party for her and her mother. How had she remembered her mother's birthday, but not her own? Was she losing herself that much? "Yes. You're right."

"Right. So, I bought you a cake."

She blinked. "Misa doesn't eat cake. And Misa isn't there to see it, anyway!" she added, confusion making way for the usual irritation she felt when talking to him.

"That's why I shall eat your piece for you," he explained. "Wouldn't want to waste a perfectly good cake."

"You're too kind," she told him, flatly.

"Make a wish, Misa-san."

"Huh?"

"A wish. You have to blow out your candles. Or rather, I will," he admitted. "So, a wish is in order."

She pictured him hunched over a cake topped with inch thick icing, and blowing out little pink and blue candles for her. Misa fought back the urge to giggle as she listened to his breath softly caress the receiver, and she dutifully made her wish.

"Did you make your wish, Misa-san?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, eyes opening again.

"What did you wish for?"

"For you to be here."

A silent beat, then, "You're not supposed to tell people your wishes, Misa-san. They won't come true."

"Then you shouldn't have asked. Besides, Misa knows that," she told him. "But I already know it won't come true, so it's okay to tell."

"Ah."

"Misa is used to false wishes, you see."

"Misa-san?"

"Yes?"

"You still should be careful what you wish for. You never know, after all."


	4. Our Distance and that Person

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. Yes, it was approved. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an AU, and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 4: Our Distance and that Person**

_Kira._

Kira had come to save them all.

"Ryuuzaki-san, do you know about Kira? Rumors say he was sent from God to punish bad people. Do you think that's possible?"

At least, that's what Misa had concluded. Somehow, he was punishing criminals, giving them deaths that she was quite sure they all deserved. He was making the wicked quake in their boots, and Misa loved every minute of it.

"Ryuuzaki-san? Do you think Kira can just tell when people have been evil? Like Santa Claus, but better!"

Kira had killed her parents' killer.

"Ryuuzaki-san, did you see the news? Kira killed the bad man who killed Misa's parents! Kira is great!"

Kira was Misa's new hero.

"Good-bye, Misa-san."

However, Ryuuzaki seemed less than thrilled over Misa's new idol, and would usually end any conversation if she brought Kira up. He was jealous, Misa decided. Jealous that Kira was able to give her parents the justice that he could not. Jealous that Misa did not see him as a hero, like she did Kira. Ryuuzaki was simply jealous.

What the hell did Ryuuzaki know?

Misa clipped out magazine and newspaper articles of her precious savior, and pasted them in a scrapbook. Reading the articles, she pictured him as a middle aged man; some graying at the temples of a well-groomed haircut, and a serious expression on a distinguished face. He'd be wise, and sick of what the world had become. Gifted with the ability to change it. One day, she would meet him. Somehow, she would thank him for what he did for her, and all the other people he helped. That was Misa's wish.

And as Misa's new obsession began to grow, she noticed Ryuuzaki's calls began to ebb. She hadn't realized it at first, but after three whole weeks without a single call, Misa reluctantly pulled herself out of her hero worshipping, and began to wonder what could've happened.

Obviously, trying to call him was out of the question. She had picked up the habit --out of pure curiosity-- of listing down each phone number Ryuuzaki called from, and then tracked down where the calls might have been made from. While she could never actually pinpoint him, she found that he not only called from different phones, but from different _countries._ All of which Misa found quite absurd.

Who could possibly want Ryuuzaki in Montreal, Canada, anyway?

Clearly he was still jealous over her adoration towards Kira. This was just silly, as far as Misa was concerned. Kira was her hero, and she truly would love to thank him, but it's not like she was in love with him.

Besides which, Misa backtracked, Ryuuzaki had no reason to be jealous even if she was in love with Kira. Ryuuzaki was not Misa's boyfriend. Ryuuzaki was... _Ryuuzaki._ And really, that was quite enough. Having a hunching, sugar craving, perverted, never there boyfriend was not appealing to Misa at all. Besides, it would most likely make her manager faint in horror.

Still, Misa admitted that she was rather anxious for a phone call. Maybe she'd apologize for irritating him with her never ending chatter about Kira. Not that he deserved an apology, but just to keep the peace. Misa could extend the olive branch if the need arose. Even if she didn't want to.

"Misa will even not talk about Kira at all," she promised her phone one lonely afternoon. "So ring, okay?"

However, it remained silent.

And Misa began to simmer. She was going to give him such a yelling when he finally had the brains to call her. He should know better to ignore Misa-Misa.

But maybe, Misa thought to herself, Ryuuzaki didn't like Kira because he thought Kira was just another criminal for what he was doing. She thought that stupid, because Kira was obviously in the right, but she wouldn't put it past Ryuuzaki to not see it from her point of view. Ryuuzaki liked his nice, neat justice system, where bad guys get away and victims get punished all over again. Clearly, Ryuuzaki had been brainwashed somewhere along the lines.

But justifying her views until she was quite satisfied that she was right didn't stop Misa from wanting Ryuuzaki to call; for her to ramble on about her new interview that would appear on TV, and for Ryuuzaki to wax poetic about the wonders of pastries, and other tidbits of life that never truly made any sense to her, but she pretended they did just to listen to him talk.

She simply missed talking to him.

When had she begun to actually miss him? When, and why, and how? How to put a stop to this, and how to get him to realize he better call her before she began to over analyze these feelings and come up with a conclusion that most likely would be disastrous?

It was really all quite frustrating, and Misa found herself more and more annoyed each time she reached for her phone eagerly when it rang, only to be disappointed that it wasn't who she was hoping for. She would get angry, and tell herself to stop. But then the phone would ring once again, and her heart would jump as she reached for it like a drowning man would a life preserver... Only to be disappointed again.

A full month went by with no calls. Misa reluctantly concluded that Ryuuzaki was not going to contact her again, and she needed to get over it. She forced herself to be angry instead of sad, reminding herself over and over again that it was only Ryuuzaki, and it was Ryuuzaki who didn't even have enough guts to give her a proper good-bye. That she needn't be depressed over someone so obviously full of himself and rude.

But no matter how many times she told herself this, Misa never quite believed herself. And she hated that.

Soon after, she heard of the televised broadcast of a detective named L, and his challenge to Kira. With anxious curiosity, Misa was able to easily download the showing off one of the many Kira fan sites she had bookmarked. Playing it over and over again gave her an eerie feeling in her stomach. On one hand, it was obvious that Kira tried to kill someone who was actually not a criminal. But then, L had threatened Kira to begin with, so it was only natural that Kira would try to protect himself. Misa understood.

L was trying to stop Kira's righteousness. Therefore, L must be stopped. Killing him was the only solution. And it was too bad that Kira had been unable to do it at the time. However, the broadcast did make Misa slightly grateful to L, because now she knew what she needed to do.

A week later, Misa moved to Tokyo. Her manager thought it was a good idea because it made Misa closer to companies and agencies that would be interested in her. Misa thought it was a good idea because it made her that much closer to Kira. And she had decided that finding Kira would be her new goal. She would do anything to thank the man that was her savior, even if it meant her life.

Of course, she had no idea just how to find him, but placing herself closer to where he was seemed like a good start. And every goal had to start somewhere.

So, Misa began to multitask. On one hand, she spent most of her days working on her career; going from audition to photo shoot to interview, until she just about collapsed when she got home. And on the other hand, when she did arrive exhausted at her apartment, she dragged herself to her television, newspaper in hand, and began to piece even more articles and information about Kira in her scrapbook. She didn't know when, after all, any of this information might come in useful. She was just sure it was bound to.

After two weeks of this routine, Misa had gotten it down to a science. She was a walking encyclopedia for Kira, able to list his latest judgments, and just why they deserved their punishments. She also perfected the art of never letting on that she was pro-Kira. Misa was not a dumb girl. She knew what her views could mean to her career and life in general. The celebrity idea that even negative media was good media was a notion that was entirely lost on Misa. She had no desire to ostracize herself from her audience. Misa-Misa was a happy girl. She did not thirst for justice, and the punishment of the wicked.

Sundays had always been Misa's designated day off. Even idols needed downtime, and her manager always fretted that Misa's hectic work schedule would burn her out if she didn't have some relaxation. Not that there weren't some Sundays that Misa would do an interview or magazine spread. But those were few and far between, and she was quite all right with that.

On this particular Sunday, Misa felt too lazy to even glance at her scrapbook. She flipped through magazines lethargically, not really focusing on the text in front of her. She knew that free time was rare for her, and she really ought to use it wisely. However, she just couldn't find the energy to move this particular day. After a while, she gave up pretending to care, and allowed herself to fall asleep unceremoniously on her couch.

So when her doorbell rang, Misa barely moved from her curled up position on the cushions. It was only when the visitor then began to knock in a peculiar rhythm that she stirred, nearly dragging herself to her door. Assuming it was a neighbor --they would, at times, find enough bravery to talk to Misa-Misa, and sometimes even ask for an autograph-- she ran her fingers through her tousled hair, straightened her shirt, and opened the door with a picture perfect smile.

Standing there with untied shoes, unkempt hair, and black eyes ringed from lack of sleep was Ryuuzaki. One hand was raised to continue knocking, while the other was at his lips, as he thoughtfully chewed on the pad of his thumb.

"Good afternoon, Misa-san," he greeted her, congenially.

A thousand things ran through her mind in a few seconds. Just where had he been for the past month and a half? What was he doing here? How'd he find her? Why hadn't he called her all this time? Was he going to disappear again, or was he actually staying around?

And just _who the hell_ did he think he was popping out of nowhere, and thinking that everything would be okay?

And the questions just kept on piling up, until she found her mouth opening of its own accord to utter something, anything. But nothing came out, except a pathetic squeak. What could she say? How to start? Ryuuzaki was _there,_ and she could demand a hundred different answers from him that she wanted, but they were all important, and all deserved to be given, and she should say something because _he was there. Really, really there._ Not on the phone, but right in front of her.

When she didn't make a sound, he tilted his head in curiosity and asked, "Are you feeling all right, Misa-san?"

She stood there, too shocked and filled with questions to actually come up with something to say more than guttural sounds. Until finally, the one thought that kept coming up over and over again consumed all other ideas, and she had but one response for him.

"Ryuuzaki-san!"

Misa practically leapt onto him, her arms wrapping tightly around his bony frame and the side of her face pressed firmly against his neck. Obviously, such physical encounters were few and far between for Ryuuzaki, for he stiffened in shock, and even when he finally relaxed there was still an unnatural rigidness to his body.

He was thin, Misa realized, her splayed fingers feeling his almost emaciated form underneath the cotton of his shirt. It was almost painful for her to think how someone who could eat so much could still have such an apparently fragile frame. Thin, but not weak; he hadn't toppled over because of her this time around, regardless of his bad posture. There was a strength that belied his appearance.

Carefully, Misa lifted her head, her lips barely brushing his ear as she whispered, "Ryuuzaki-san is not allowed to disappear without telling Misa!"

A decree. A threat. A plea. It was all of the above and more, and somehow he seemed to understand that.

He tilted his head a little away from hers, as if the extra inch of space would somehow give him back his comfort zone. "I apologize, Misa-san. My schedule has been... full. Could you release me now?" he asked, almost looking hopeful.

She decided to crush that hope. He had vanished and made her fret for well over a month. Now he reappeared with no decent explanation, and seemed to expect no retribution whatsoever. A little discomfort seemed like the least punishment she could give him.

"Misa doesn't want to." She promptly rested her chin on Ryuuzaki's shoulder, and gave him a squeeze for good measure. She was rewarded with a nearly imperceptible sigh. Happily and shamelessly, she smiled against his neck.

She would let him go in a few minutes, before the neighbors craned their heads out their doors in interest. But for now, Misa was quite content to have her ill at eased Ryuuzaki right where she wanted him.


	5. In a Good Mood

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. Yes, it was approved. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an AU, and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 12: In a Good Mood**

For the next week, it seemed that if anyone in the world could prove luck existed, it was Amane Misa. Not only did she get a particularly sought after cameo role on a well watched drama series, her manager called her to announce that she had been voted most popular face for the month in Cutie. And with the publicity that created, she was bound to get jobs for even more prominent magazines.

Along with Ryuuzaki's reappearance, Misa was fairly content that absolutely nothing could derail her feeling of euphoria.

Just in case though, Misa visited the shrine near her parents' graves to pray. Her mother always said it helped when she needed it, so Misa was sure it couldn't hurt. She even bought herself a charm for luck. On a whim, she bought one for Ryuuzaki, too. She didn't think he was superstitious like she was, but maybe he'd appreciate the thought of it.

Misa also did something that she had never done since her modeling career began; she bought sugar. One large box of sugar cubes to be exact, since Ryuuzaki had once offhandedly mentioned that he was making a wall of them. Being on the other end of the phone line, Misa had wondered just how much sugar he could possibly have lying around to do such a thing.

Figuring Ryuuzaki's habits into the equation, Misa had gone out the day after her first impulse buy to get another box, just to be on the safe side. She also picked up a carrot cake, since she figured if she scraped the icing off it well enough, it wouldn't be too fattening to pick at a piece herself. It was made of carrots, after all.

When Sunday came, Misa made sure her apartment was in perfect order. She had explained to Ryuuzaki that Sundays were the only days he'd definitely find her at her apartment. While he hadn't said anything in regard to this fact, Misa was convinced he'd pop again. After all, she was on a lucky streak.

And sure enough, in the early afternoon the doorbell rang, and a raccoon-eyed Ryuuzaki greeted her with a wave, before he was nearly dragged into the living room of her apartment. A lively Misa escorted him to the sofa, and sat down next to him, all lace, ruffles, and smiles. Clearly, Misa was having a very good week.

Ryuuzaki was used to Misa's cheerful mood swings over the phone, but to see it in person was almost an experience in of itself. She sat at near inappropriately close proximity, leaning in toward him so he could actually feel her warm breath as she spoke. Her eyes would crinkle just a little when she smiled, and he would sometimes even catch a glimpse of a dimple on her left cheek, which was different from the smiles he saw her use in her pictures. He concluded this was a real Misa smile, and decided that he liked it far more than the modeling ones.

"Misa-san seems very happy," he said, if only to get her to stop rambling about a particularly cute actor she had just met. He didn't wish to appear rude, but he honestly couldn't have cared less about how nice the male lead's hair was, or how his smile was 'really sexy.'

"Misa is!" she grinned, nearly bouncing off the couch to head to the connecting kitchen. Humming, she began to heat up a kettle of water. "This has been a great week. And now that Ryuuzaki-san is here," she opened up the fridge to retrieve her previously bought cake, "it's even better!"

Ryuuzaki tilted his head back to watch her, the tip of his left index finger caught between his teeth. "Really?" The question had more curiosity than shock in its tone.

"Of course," she nodded, reaching into her cabinet for cups and the sugar cubes she had so delicately placed into a glass jar. "I have friends who work at Yoshida with me, but our days off almost never coincide, so we only get to see each other if we're on the same shoot. Even so, we talk more than Misa has talked to Ryuuzaki-san in the past couple months," she gave him a disapproving frown. "So... Having Ryuuzaki-san visit two Sundays in a row is a very big thing to me."

For his part, Ryuuzaki looked down at his feet, wiggling toes dangling off the edge of the sofa. "Hmmm," was the noncommittal response.

Misa's frowned deepened, and she suddenly held tight to the white box in her hands. "No cake for Ryuuzaki-san," she stated, childishly.

His head shot up, neck craning to get a good look at the girl behind him. "Cake?"

"Misa bought a cake with Ryuuzaki-san in mind. But you seem unhappy to be here, so no cake for Ryuuzaki-san," Misa repeated with a pout, turning to replace the box back in the refrigerator.

Ryuuzaki shuffled his feet so he was facing Misa. He leaned his already hunched form forward, restless fingers drumming along the back edge of the couch. "I apologize, Misa-san," he said, head tilted submissively downward. "I've been distracted as of late."

"Too distracted for Misa?" she questioned, not about to fall for the beaten look he was giving her. She had already noticed how his eyes were focused eagerly on the cake box she held. Crocodile tears wouldn't work on her. "Ryuuzaki-san is spending time with Misa now! He shouldn't be worrying about other things."

He began chewing on his thumb, eyes still on the prize she was holding. Misa wondered what he was thinking; it was hard to tell when he had such a blank expression. "I suppose you're right. I will do my best to be a better guest.  
"And, as a good guest," he began, a little smile creeping on his features, "I feel it's my duty to tell you that a good hostess does not offer and then deny her guests food."

Misa's eyebrows shot up, her jaw dropping just enough for her to utter an undignified squeak.

"It's quite rude, you see," Ryuuzaki explained, leaning a bit more so that his chin was almost resting on the back of the sofa. "And I know Misa-san is far too polite to not be a good hostess." His smiled widened a little. "Correct?"

She shut her mouth, and gave him her best glare. But it was no use. The sly smile never left his face, and she realized that denying him this victory would make her look the fool in the end. Besides, she had bought the cake with him in mind. It would definitely go to waste if she put it back in the fridge.

With a sigh, she walked over and placed the box on the coffee table in front of him. Ryuuzaki had already turned around in anticipation, eyes bright with the idea of a fresh rush of sugar coursing through his body. She briefly wondered where it all went, since he barely looked like he ate anything. She then decided that if she had his metabolism maybe she'd eat like him, too.

When he opened the box, and smiled at the cake like a child would a shiny new toy, Misa amended her last thought. She _still_ wouldn't eat like him. It would probably make her sick to her stomach if she tried.

"Misa will go get the tea," she said. As an afterthought, she added, "Don't touch the cake until I at least get you a plate and fork."

Ryuuzaki gave her what she assumed was an insulted look. "Of course. I'm not an animal, Misa-san."

She snorted, but trusted him to not go digging in with his fingers. For the most part, anyway. She walked back to the kitchenette, and dug out a couple tea bags in the back of a cabinet. She heard him click his tongue in disappointment when he realized that she was going to wait for the tea to finish seeping before bringing the necessary utensils for the cake. Misa knew that she could be nice, and multitask easily enough. But teasing Ryuuzaki was far more entertaining.

She was placing the cups of finished tea on saucers when she heard a phone ring. Not recognizing the tone, she spun around to Ryuuzaki, who was fishing something out of his pocket. He pulled out a silver cell phone, and flipped it open without even looking at who the caller was.

Holding it with just the tips of his fingers, as if it might be contaminated somehow, he placed it to his ear. "Yes?"

"Hey!" Misa huffed, unable to help herself. "How come someone else can have Ryuuzaki-san's phone number, but not Misa?"

Ryuuzaki ignored her. "Yes, I'm aware of that," he replied to the caller's question. He remained silent for a while, listening to the person on the other end. With a sigh, he used his free hand to scratch a little at his kneecaps. "Yes, I know that, too. But I figured a day off a week would be ideal. We don't want burnout." A pause. "Yes, that probably shouldn't apply to me."

Misa frowned. She didn't like where this strange conversation was heading. She placed the teacups down with a clatter in front of Ryuuzaki, before standing up straight with her hands at her hips. "What's going on?"

"No, you've got a point," Ryuuzaki said, still not looking at Misa. "But... Can it wait until after the cake?" he asked, almost weakly. There was a definite shout on the other end. He flinched only slightly, but looked resigned more than surprised. "I figured I could at least ask. Very well, then. I'll be leaving shortly."

"What?!" Misa shouted, livid. She had just gotten Ryuuzaki back, and now some mystery person was making him leave? Misa's imagination ran wild, and she pictured some buxom woman on the end of the line, all ruby nails and gloss covered lips, jealously calling Ryuuzaki back to her illicit love den.

The rational part of Misa's mind told her that was absolutely a ridiculous theory, but Misa was taking no chances.

"Give me that!" She snatched the phone out of Ryuuzaki's delicate grasp so quickly he barely had a chance to react.

"Misa-san, please give that back," he reached for his phone, but Misa was already stalking away from him, and placing it to her ear.

"Hello?" she said, irritation lacing her tone.

"Who is this?" the person on the other end replied, voice shocked, and most definitely male.

"You're not a woman," Misa blinked, relieved.

"I beg your pardon?" the man sputtered. "Young lady, you have no right to be on this phone. Give it back immediately!"

The demand brought back her righteous indignation. "You're the one telling Ryuuzaki-san he has to leave, aren't you?"

"W-what? Are you even listening to me?" the man questioned.

"You have no right to tell Ryuuzaki-san to leave," she mocked his words. "He just got here!"

"Young lady, I'm sorry, but I really have no time to discuss this matter with you," he said, sounding slightly apologetic, but still annoyed. "Now, please be a good girl, and give the phone back to Ryuuzaki."

"No," Misa refused.

"Now, listen here, young lady-"

"No, you listen!" she pointed at the receiver, as if he could see her. "Misa has not seen or heard from Ryuuzaki-san in almost two whole months! And now he's here, and you're telling him to leave. And it sounds like you don't want him to come back."

"Well, it's just-"

"Misa wants Ryuuzaki-san to visit!" she nearly shouted, stamping her foot. Behind her, still on the couch, the young man in question looked on with a curious expression. "Misa missed him," she confessed softly enough so only the man on the phone could hear her. Raising her voice, she declared, "So, you can't tell him he can't, understand?"

There was silence for a moment, before the man answered calmly. "I'm very sorry, young lady. I understand that you're upset, but there really are greater matters here than... Well, than your feelings. I really do apologize."

Misa would've shouted again, if he hadn't sounded so sincere. Instead she huffed a little, before a thought made her frown a bit. "You sound old," she stated, a matter-of-factly. "Are you Ryuuzaki-san's father?"

Behind her, Ryuuzaki practically bit through his thumb.

"W-what?" the man stuttered, at a lost to how to respond.

"Well, if you're not Ryuuzaki-san's father, are you his boss?" she asked.

The caller collected his dignity quickly. "Young lady, if you would _please_ hand the phone over to Ryuuzaki now?"

"Hmmmm," Misa tilted his head up, tapping her chin in thought. "If you were Ryuuzaki-san's boss, then he would've already left. So, maybe you work for Ryuuzaki-san. Yes?"

"It's all really none of your business as to who I am, my dear," the man said, sounding as composed as he could be.

"Well, if you do work for Ryuuzaki-san," Misa spun on her heals, looking at her guest with a small smile, "then he doesn't have to listen to you, yes? Right, Ryuuzaki-san?"

He watched her hopeful expression for a moment, before carefully answering. "Well, that would be technically correct," he admitted. "If that was the case."

"I'm going to assume it is," she grinned, victoriously. "So, Ryuuzaki-san doesn't have to leave."

"Young lady," the man on the phone sighed, "you can't just do what you want by creating your own logic."

"It's not my own logic!" Misa pouted. "Misa knows that if you're the boss you make your own decisions. And if Ryuuzaki-san is the boss, he doesn't have to leave if he doesn't want to. And Ryuuzaki-san doesn't want to leave. Right, Ryuuzaki-san? Right?"

"Well... " Ryuuzaki nibbled on his thumb, eyeing Misa's pleading look, before glancing uncomfortably down at his feet.

"Misa can't finish the cake all by herself," she mentioned, sounding completely innocent. "I would have to throw it away." She watched Ryuuzaki's head jerk upwards a bit at that, and she sighed dramatically. "And then Misa would also have to throw away all the sugar cubes she bought. Since Misa doesn't really eat sugar, and Ryuuzaki-san wouldn't be visiting, there'd be no point to keep them."

"That... That would definitely be a shame," Ryuuzaki said, a tiny grin forming on his lips. "It would be an awful waste."

"Yes, it would," Misa agreed, nodding vigorously. "And Ryuuzaki-san would be a horrible guest for leaving so early, and making me waste all that time and money."

"I suppose I would be, wouldn't I?" he asked, his grin widening just a little. "We wouldn't want that, now would we? It would make me terribly rude."

"Yes," she smiled.

"I will have to rectify this possible social blunder by staying, and fulfilling my duties as a proper guest," Ryuuzaki declared, one finger tapping at his bottom lip.

"That's a brilliant idea!" Misa complimented him.

The man on the other end of the line let out a long sigh of exasperation. "Honestly, now... "

"Oh, you're still on?" Misa said, surprised at the sound of his voice. Then, she shrugged. "Misa doesn't know why she's still talking to you, anyway. This is Ryuuzaki-san time, not old man time. Bye now!" She cut the man's retort off with a resounding _clack_ of the phone closing. She turned to Ryuuzaki, and smiled brightly. "So, cake?"

He watched her as she regained her previously cheerful demeanor. She handed him back his phone, and with a swish of her skirt, went back to the kitchen to get utensils and the sugar. Misa did it all with a smiling grace and ditzy façade that belied the precocious young woman Ryuuzaki suspected her to be.

She sat down next to him, and handed him the knife for the cake, as she took a sugar for her tea that she lamented out loud was probably cold now. Ryuuzaki told her it didn't matter if she put enough sugar in it. She could just put an ice cube in it, and make it iced tea. Her response was a pout and a slight yank to his hair.

"So, Ryuuzaki-san is going to visit again, right?" Misa asked, purposely keeping her eyes focused on her removal of her cake's icing.

"Most likely. Can I have your icing?" he asked, fork already in position to take it.

"Okay. Misa just wants to make sure Ryuuzaki-san comes back." She watched him scrape his fork along her plate, taking every last bit of icing he could, before almost voraciously devouring it. "Because Misa would miss Ryuuzaki-san. A bit," she added. "And Ryuuzaki-san would miss Misa... Right?"

There was silence, aside from his chewing.

She turned to him, frowning. "Well?"

"That really goes without saying, I'd think, Misa-san," he replied, licking his fork. "I wouldn't have gone searching for where you moved in Tokyo if I didn't want to see you. I don't like wasting my time on things that don't interest me."

She beamed. "Misa's interesting, then?"

He gave her a quick glance. "Among other things."

But that was really all Misa needed to hear. Ryuuzaki wasn't going to disappear again on her. He wanted to spend time with her. That knowledge in of itself was good enough to make Misa consider this a very good week indeed.


	6. The Road Home

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. And no, Misa's sister was never named in canon. But I refused to call her "Misa's sister" for a whole chapter she was important in. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 20: The Road Home**

"Ryuuzaki-san, what's your name?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone line. "...I'm sorry, Misa-san?"

Misa sighed, leaning back on her seat in the jostling train. "Your name. Misa has been talking to Ryuuzaki-san for almost a year and... And Misa has never asked for Ryuuzaki-san's given name," she finished in a rush, fairly mortified over the admission.

It really had been a point of embarrassment on Misa's part when she realized that after all this time, she only knew the strange detective as 'Ryuuzaki-san.' She had gotten so accustomed to the name, and had thought so many different times that he would disappear on her, that the idea of asking for his full name had just never occurred.

But now that she was fairly certain that he wasn't going to vanish for good, Misa decided it would behoove her to actually learn a little more about the detective, aside from his odd eating habits and over-analytical thinking.

"Oh. I never noticed I didn't tell you," he said, and it sounded to her like he was almost admitting he never even thought to tell her.

Misa frowned. "Well? What is it?"

"Hideo."

She pondered that for a second. "Ryuuzaki Hideo?"

"Yes."

"...Misa thinks it sounds weird," she said.

"Weird?" Ryuuzaki's tone was a little wobbly, as if he'd been offended. "I think it sounds like a perfectly good name."

"It's okay," Misa began, not wanting to truly upset him, but still unable to lie on the matter. "I just don't really like 'Hideo.' Ryuuzaki-san doesn't look like a 'Hideo.'"

"I don't? Then, what do I look like?" he asked, curious.

"Hmmm. Misa isn't sure, but it's definitely _not _'Hideo,'" she emphasized. "Misa will just call you 'Ryuuzaki-san.' It sounds better to me."

"A wise decision," Ryuuzaki said, voice slightly flat.

"Hey, Ryuuzaki-san," she peered out the window next to her, smiling a bit at the scenery that passed by, "did you know you can call Misa whenever you want this week?"

"Really? And why is that?" he asked.

"Because this week is Misa's week off. I'm going home to visit my sister, so you can't see me," she told him, frowning at the thought. Then, she brightened a little. "But that means Misa's phone will be on all the time, so Ryuuzaki-san can call whenever he feels like!"

"Even at three in the morning?" he questioned.

She sneered. "Anytime but when Misa will be sleeping."

"Understood."

Honestly, Misa was hoping for a more enthusiastic response, but she wasn't really expecting it. It just didn't fit with Ryuuzaki's personality. He was far greater at controlling and covering up his emotions than she was, so even if he was happy at the news she doubted he'd let on about it. It was much easier to read him when she could look him in his eyes. She'd gotten good at recognizing the little nuances of their narrowing and widening on his pale face.

Just two weeks ago she was able to tell that he was considerably angry, which Misa wasn't used to at all. He had arrived at her apartment with a slightly stiffer demeanor than usual, but she had expected that a little sugar filled coffee and some tarts she had bought would change that.

Instead, when she sat next to him on the couch to offer him a pastry, she found him gripping the newspaper she had left on her table. The headliner was about Kira, and his being responsible for the deaths of twelve American FBI agents.

Misa had planned to cut it out for her scrapbook, and left it on the table for later. But when she saw the intense gaze Ryuuzaki had focused on the article, she wisely decided that she wouldn't be telling him anything of her new hobby. The expression on his face hadn't changed, but Misa all too easily spotted the controlled fury in his dark eyes, and it frightened her a bit. Ryuuzaki was not supposed to be angry. She didn't like it one bit.

So, she had gently taken the paper out his hands, rolled it up, and made a show of throwing it into the trash. She planned on retrieving it later --which she did so-- but Ryuuzaki didn't need to know that. And he had apologized, having noticed that he had made her uncomfortable.

But that made it clear to Misa that any talk of Kira was completely unthinkable. As a detective, Ryuuzaki thought Kira to be the enemy. And vice versa, Misa was sure. It was only natural that Ryuuzaki would be upset at the news of the agents dying, even if she personally believed that they wouldn't have died if they just understood that Kira was doing the right thing.

Though, it was moments like those that made Misa wonder if Ryuuzaki himself was actually on the Kira case. It was a thought that made her stomach do a nasty twist whenever the notion managed to eek itself into her mind. She would then dismiss it completely, telling herself that Ryuuzaki's talents would be used elsewhere. After all, the Kira case had L on it --Oh, did Misa _hate_ L-- and he seemed to be failing miserably at catching Kira. Ryuuzaki, Misa decided, was a much better detective than L, and probably would've found Kira by now.

That being said, Misa was very glad that Ryuuzaki was not on the case. She certainly didn't want Kira to be caught. Then again, she also didn't want Ryuuzaki to get himself killed. All in all, it was a situation that she wasn't pleased at in the least, and was grateful that it couldn't possibly be.

Misa shook herself out of that dark reverie, and turned back to her conversation. "Misa will miss Ryuuzaki-san," she cooed, being as bright as she could be. He was still slightly in that funk he had been in during his last visit, so she was doing her best to keep the mood light. "Try not to be too bored without me!"

"I will endeavor to do my best," he replied, dryly.

She frowned a little. Misa didn't like irritated Ryuuzaki _at all._ At least he wasn't deliberately directing it at her. Still, she didn't think she deserved to deal with it in any way. "I should go now. Misa blows you kisses!" she declared, making an exaggerated smooch near the receiver.

"What?"

"Bye bye!" she shut the phone closed with devious glee. Let him think on _that _for a while. Served him right for being in such a cranky mood.

The middle aged woman next to Misa smiled, amused. "Was that your boyfriend?"

"No," Misa replied, thinking nothing of it. "Just a friend."

She didn't notice the questioning look the woman gave her in response.

The rest of the ride on the train was long, but uneventful. When she arrived at her destination, Misa found her older sister already there to greet her and help with her luggage.

Amane Mamori was different from Misa in so many ways, the youngest Amane would wonder if they were really related. Where Misa was outgoing and bright, Mamori was soft spoken and somber. Where Misa showed interest in the occult, and dressed in gothic lolita fashion, Mamori showed interest in law, and dressed conservatively. Misa bleached her hair blonde to look cute. Mamori kept her black hair tied back in a tight ponytail. Looking at them, they were night and day.

And honestly, Misa wouldn't have it any other way, and she knew Mamori felt the same.

"Mamori!" Misa squealed, dropping her luggage unceremoniously to the ground, and embracing her sister fiercely.

"Misa," Mamori responded, patiently waiting to be released, before giving the shorter girl a slight pat on the head. "Do you have all your bags?"

"Yes," Misa picked them back up, smiling ear to ear. "Let's go!"

The drive to Mamori's apartment was a one-sided conversation on Misa's part, generally revolving around her career, until it ended with Kira's latest exploits in the news.

"I wish you wouldn't follow that sort of thing," Mamori chastised, as they walked into her home. "It's scary, Misa."

"Kira isn't scary to Misa," the model replied, taking her bags to the sofa. "Kira killed our parents' murderer. Kira is a hero."

Mamori frowned. "A killer is still a killer at the end of the day, Misa. No matter whom they kill."

Misa's sour expression matched her sister's. "And Mamori isn't glad that their murderer is dead?"

"I'm not saying that," Mamori sighed, rubbing her temples. "It's just… Don't you feel cheated?"

Misa blinked a few times, confused. "Cheated?"

"Sure. Didn't you want to be able to say anything to him?" Mamori questioned. "To ask him why? Or if he felt any guilt? Didn't you ever want to have the chance to scream at him, Misa?  
"While you were spending all your time and energy on advancing your modeling career, I was working with the lawyers who were trying to make a case against him. The evidence was lacking, but it was _there, _and it was frustrating," she bit her lip, nervously. "We kept waiting for a judge to deny the trial delays, kept trying our best to stop it. But we kept failing.  
"And that whole time I knew he was their killer, and all I wanted to do was run up to him and strangle him. Shoot him. Stab him. Something!" she raised her hands up, waving them a bit in a moment of anger.

Misa frowned, worried. "Mamori..."

"You wanted to do it, too. Didn't you, Misa?" Mamori asked, darkly. "You wanted to kill him. Because you thought he deserved it. I thought he deserved it, too. I did, and part of me still does.  
"And then, Kira did it. Kira killed him. And I thought I should feel like a great weight was lifted. But instead, it was like Kira added extra weight," She reached behind her head to grab a lock of long hair, and brought it forward and passed her shoulder so she could twirl it. "We never got our revenge. He was never proven to be their killer. He never went to trial. He went to his grave an innocent man.  
"Do you get that, Misa?" Mamori asked, anger clear in every line on her face. "He died innocent in the eyes of the law. As far as the world's concerned, he'll never be the killer. We'll never get the chance to see him convicted. We'll never get a chance to look him in the eye and say, 'I know you did it.' Never. Kira took that from us. He took away our justice!"

"Mamori is wrong!" Misa cried, tiny fists hitting her own sides childishly. "He never would've gone to trial. It would've kept being delayed, and he would've gotten away with it. They would've thrown it out eventually.  
"Kira did what the courts couldn't. Kira punished the bad man. He punished their killer, and Mamori should be grateful, like Misa is."

"But don't you feel like you missed an opportunity?" Mamori's voice rose slightly, though it was still more level than Misa's. "Don't you feel like we had something ripped from us that was rightfully ours? Didn't you ever want to confront him?"

"No, no, no!" Misa shook her head, violently. "Misa never wanted to see him! Misa never wanted to see the bad man that took our parents away. That… That would've been scary. So scary. That would've been _awful! _No, no. Misa just wanted him to… to go away. Go away and disappear."  
Misa wrapped her arms around her torso, swaying back and forth. "Kira made the bad man go away and disappear forever. That's all Misa wanted. For him to disappear, so Misa and Mamori didn't have to be afraid of him anymore."

Misa remained there, rocking side to side, her head down. She didn't like to think of her parents' killer anymore. Mamori had obsessed over the case for months after Misa realized it had been a lost cause. Even if Ryuuzaki had managed to catch him, it seemed obvious to Misa that he would never go to trial. And after the initial fury had worn off, Misa found herself wanting to forget all about it. If she could act as if it never happened --Misa-Misa was a happy girl. A good girl-- then maybe she could put it behind her.

She took a deep breath, tightening her hug on herself. If she clenched her arms just tight enough, she could stop their shaking...

Gentle arms wrapped around Misa's tiny frame, as Mamori rested her chin on her sister's shoulder. "Okay, Misa," she whispered. "We'll stop talking about this. All right?"

Misa wordlessly nodded her head.

"Come on," Mamori took a step back, and grasped Misa's hand. "Let's get your futon set up. Tomorrow's a big day."

The next morning both sisters were up bright and early. They got done and ate breakfast in relative silence, aside from the polite and quick requests for the passing of food and drink. And when they had finished their morning routine, they were back in Mamori's car for the awkward drive they both had secretly been dreading.

When they arrived at their destination, they climbed out of the car and walked hand in hand, as if that small touch imbued them with the strength they were otherwise lacking at the moment. Misa held flowers, while Mamori had a small blanket.

"I realize it's silly," she had tried to explain the blue mantle to Misa earlier. "I just always think they'd be freezing out there. It's very windy on that hill. And you know Dad hated the cold weather."

Misa had understood the intent, and had nodded in agreement.

And now, as they walked past rows of tombstones, Misa wondered if she'd ever have the courage to do something like this alone. If she could ever visit her parents without using another person as an emotional crutch. She wanted to believe she could, but once their headstone came into view, Misa found herself gripping Mamori's hand desperately. Her sister returned the grasp.

Taking a deep breath, Mamori bent down to clean away the leaves and dirt that had managed to accumulate around the tombstone and incense holder, before wrapping the blanket around the engraved stone. Misa knelt next to her, laying down the bouquet lilies, noticing with a flinch that she had held them so tightly that the stems were slightly bent. From her purse, Misa pulled out a few incense sticks and a lighter, and placed the sticks in the brass holder before carefully lighting them. Both girls cupped their hands around the offering to stop the wind for whittling the incense down too quickly.

"So," Misa began, hesitantly, "does Mamori have anything to tell them?"

"I really don't know," Mamori sighed. "Last time I came here it was to discuss their case. Just to be able to get out all my frustrations, you know? Now, I don't even have that.  
"It's pathetic. I wrapped myself so much into getting their killer convicted, and he died before I could even help get him to trial," she bit her lip. "I don't know who to tell them is to blame. Myself, the lawyers, or the police."

"It's not Mamori's fault!" Misa declared, reaching out and giving her sister's shoulder a shake. "The police couldn't get enough evidence. Ryuuzaki-san said he'd bring the killer to justice. But he lied," she added, darkly. Try as she might, Misa still found it to be a sore point for her.

Mamori gave her a puzzled look. "Ryuuzaki-san? Who's that?"

"Hm?" Misa raised a brow. "You should know. Ryuuzaki-san was the big detective they brought in for Mom and Dad's case. It was a huge deal. He questioned Misa and everything."

"Misa, I really don't know what you're talking about," Mamori frowned. "You must be confused."

"I don't understand," Misa said, befuddled.

"I know the couple days after the... crime were a bit of a jumble to you. I know they were to me. But, I've gone through those case files hundreds of times. You must have the name wrong," Mamori explained, tone serious. "There wasn't a Detective Ryuuzaki on the case. Ever."


	7. News

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 2: News**

Misa watched as her sister pulled out a large cardboard box from her closet, and dropped it onto her bed. Rubbing her hands together, Mamori pulled off the lid, and began to pull files out.

"These are the case files for Mom and Dad's murder," the older girl explained. "The entire investigation is written in this paperwork. Even your police statement. That's what I'm looking for now. I looked at it almost every day when the case was active, and I know the detective you talked to was not a Detective Ryuuzaki."

"You're wrong, Mamori," Misa frowned, feeling worry and nervousness eat away in her stomach. "I know it was Ryuuzaki-san who spoke to me that day. He said his name to Misa. It was Ryuuzaki. Hideo," she added.

"It couldn't be," Mamori retorted. "I know these files like the back of my hand, Misa. Ah!" She held up a manila folder victoriously, before flipping it open. "See, right here it says that the detective who took your statement was named... " Mamori paled, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. "'Ryuuzaki Hideo.'"  
She slammed the folder down. "That can't be! It can't be Ryuuzaki Hideo!"

Misa pulled back in fear, as her sister began to nearly tear open each folder to read the reports.

Mamori started holding up papers, and letting them fall unceremoniously every time she uttered the words, "Ryuuzaki Hideo... Ryuuzaki Hideo..."  
Finally, she threw her hands down on her paper covered bed, crumpling the previously pristine reports underneath her fists. "This doesn't make any sense. I've read these papers more times than I can count. I don't recall ever seeing this name anywhere on any page. And now... Now it's everywhere! In every single report, in every single mention of the investigation team. Ryuuzaki Hideo didn't exist in these files two weeks ago when I looked at them last." She looked up at Misa, a wild, angry look in her eyes. "And now he's plastered in every place he can be!"

Scared, Misa hesitantly shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe Mamori just worked herself too hard? You spent so much time on Mom and Dad's case. So, maybe Mamori has gotten names confused? You have other cases now, too, right? You're a very busy court reporter. You write lots of names every day."

"I would _never_ get the names in Mom and Dad's case wrong!" Mamori snarled. "I know that up until now I never saw 'Ryuuzaki Hideo' on these papers!"

"What is Mamori saying?" Misa laughed, nervously. "That someone broke into your apartment and switched the files? That's just silly."

Mamori's eyes widened. "No, it's not. That must be it! That's the only way this makes sense."

Misa frowned. "You're going too far."

But Mamori wasn't listening. Taking a deep breath, she leaned back and tapped her chin, thoughtfully. "It wouldn't take too much time and effort to switch my files. I'm away from my apartment for long lengths of time when I'm working, and it's not like I had the copies under lock and key. Oh!" she brightened. "That's right! They were copies of the files Takehiko-san has."

Misa didn't really wish to encourage her sister's odd behavior, but couldn't stop herself from asking, "Who's Takehiko-san?"

"Nezu Takehiko-san was the lawyer on the case. If you paid any attention you would remember," Mamori scolded, as she reached for her phone. "Takehiko-san has his files in the storage in his office, of course. But his place is locked up tightly, and it has security cameras everywhere. There's no way anyone got in there without being caught on tape. And since Takehiko-san never called me about a break in, I'm sure his files are untouched."

Misa chewed on her lip in apprehension, as Mamori dialed off a number. She herself didn't know what to make of this. She and Mamori had a huge argument at the cemetery over the existence --or lack thereof-- of a Detective Ryuuzaki Hideo on their parents' case. Mamori had flat out said that there was no one by that name that she had ever known about, while Misa had gotten so flustered she had called her sister 'crazy.' This had obviously not sat well with the older Amane.

So, Misa had nearly been dragged back to the car, and had held on for dear life as they raced back to the apartment. Mamori had sworn she was going to prove herself right, and then Misa would apologize for doubting and insulting her. Misa's response was to repeat her accusation against her sister's sanity, and then to firmly state that she knew she was in the right and fully expected Mamori to apologize herself.

But, for all Misa's bluster, she couldn't help but have misgivings. Mamori was always spot on when it came to things on the cases she handled. It was part of her job. And she had been like a possessed woman when it came to their parents' murder. She could rattle off any part of the file verbatim if Misa had dared ask her to.

But then why didn't she know Ryuuzaki's name? Misa knew he had been on the case. He had to have been. All the police officers had seen him, had told her that he was an up and coming detective. The police wouldn't have lied to her. That didn't make any sense. And besides, his name _was_ on all the case files. It was there in black and white.

Still, Mamori was never wrong about her cases. She never forgot. And that fact made Misa more nervous than she could understand. Which is why she didn't tell Mamori about her current relationship with the detective, nor did she have any plans to do so. She could just imagine the reaction that would result in such a revelation. Mamori was already riled up. It was wise to not make the situation worst by throwing gas onto the fire.

"Ah, Takehiko-san! It's Amane Mamori," the older girl was holding the phone tight enough to make her knuckles turn white. "Yes, I'm fine. Listen, I know this sounds rather strange, but your office hasn't been broken into recently, has it? Yes, yes. I know it's a horrible question. Forgive me, but this is important. It hasn't, right?" There was a pause, then Mamori nodded, satisfied. "That's what I thought. Could you do me a favor? Could you pull out the file on Misa's police statement about our parents? Yes, I know. I'm sorry to inconvenience you like this, Takehiko-san. Please, though? Thank you."  
Mamori glanced at Misa, placing her hand over the receiver. "Just you wait. I'm sure Takehiko-san's files couldn't have been gotten to without the security alarms being set off, or the cameras catching something. So, the files have to still be untouched. I'm sure your file won't have Ryuuzaki Hideo's name on it."

"Mamori is taking this too far," Misa repeated. "Misa knows who she met and talked to. I'm not stupid, like you think. Besides, changing files? That's crazy, Mamori! Who would do such a thing?"

"I don't know," Mamori admitted. "But it's got to be a cover up of some sort. I don't know why, but that has to be it. I know it!"  
She perked up suddenly, attention back to her phone. "Thank you, Takehiko-san. Can you tell me the name of the detective that spoke with Misa? Yes? What was his name?" After a moment, Mamori's expression darkened. "...Are you sure? Maybe you're reading the kanji wrong. Yes, but maybe... But, are you sure? Isn't it odd, though, Takehiko-san? You don't remember this name either, do you?" Mamori's eyes widened, her face turning pink. "What do you mean you do? Don't lie to me! You never heard of a Ryuuzaki Hideo before! I know it! We read these files together. I know them better than you, and you're telling me _I'm_ wrong? How dare you?!  
"Who put you up to this?" she snarled. "Did they pay you? Are you being blackmailed? Tell me, Takehiko-san! Eh!" Her grip on the phone loosened, and Mamori let it drop in shocked defeat. "He hung up on me."

Misa looked nervously at her sister. "Mamori has worked herself too hard," she offered, reaching out to stroke her sister's head. "You spent so much time on Mom and Dad's case, you never put in any time for yourself. Mamori is just... stressed now, that's all. And stress has made Mamori confused."

"No, that can't be it," Mamori shook her head, but her previous fire was slowly dying. "I know these files, Misa!"

"I know," the younger girl pushed the paperwork between them aside, and settled herself closer to her sister so she could embrace her. "But Mamori never stops to do anything for herself. She always spends her time worrying about other people. Like our parents, and Misa. You never think about yourself, because you're too busy making sure everyone else is taken care of. Mamori is just overworked, and things are messy in her head now."

"No," Mamori murmured, still not letting go of her own opinion. "I know this case better than my life, Misa. I can't be wrong. I just can't."

"But the paperwork with both Mamori and Nezu-san have Ryuuzaki-san's name on it. And Mamori herself said that no one could get into Nezu-san's office, right?" Misa pointed out, her tone intentionally calm.

"But maybe Takehiko-san was bought off. Or maybe blackmailed, like I said," Mamori suggested, struggling to the end.

"Do you honestly think Nezu-san is that type of person?" Misa asked.

"...No," Mamori admitted. "Takehiko-san always told me the truth. But-"

"Mamori is just stressed," Misa tightened her hold on her sister. "That's okay. Misa has not been a very good sister, because she ran away and left Mamori behind. Mamori can rely on Misa more now. I promise I'll be a better sister from now on, so you don't have to do everything on your own anymore.  
"When Misa is rich and famous, she'll buy Mamori a big house! A big house near the big house I'll live in," Misa pulled back, smiling. "And we can visit each other all the time, and be a family again. Not like before, but still a family. Mamori would like that, right?"

An exhausted Mamori glanced at the strewn papers, and then at her beaming sister. With a defeated sigh, she leaned forward and rested her forehead on the smaller girl's shoulder. "That actually sounds really nice, Misa."

"Yes, it does," Misa agreed, kissing the side of Mamori's head. "Misa has missed having a family."

**---**

By the time the week was over, Misa had all but made Mamori completely stop mentioning the case files and the apparently magical appearance of Ryuuzaki's name in them. The younger Amane insisted that her older sister was obviously overworked and far too stressed to think clearly. Misa then declared that Mamori's boss was obviously a jerk for allowing her sister to be placed under such mental strain, and that Mamori deserved a vacation. She then offered to pay to send Mamori off to a spa that she had heard did wonders. Mamori had politely declined, but Misa had plans on sending her there, anyway.

"Misa," Mamori poked her head into the bedroom. "Hurry up. We don't want you to miss your train."

"It's not that late, is it?" Misa anxiously asked, turning to her sister for a second. "Misa has a big photoshoot tomorrow!"

"Well, then you better be quick. If you miss this train, the next one won't be for another hour," Mamori informed her, as she left her sister alone. "You won't get much sleep, then. I'll meet you at the car."

Misa imagined the bags underneath Ryuuzaki's eyes, and shuddered. They gave Ryuuzaki character, but certainly didn't make him attractive. And Misa had no desire to get any more character than she already had. With a squeak, Misa turned back to her bag and began to hastily throw her clothing into it.

Misa was in such a rush, she didn't notice that she had already finished grabbing the last of her clothing, and reached out for more, only to come in contact with something hard and smooth. She looked up, and stared confused at the black book that her hand rested on. It was a notebook of some sort. Archaic symbols etched in white adorned it, and Misa flipped it open to reveal clean, crisp pages.

It was rather gothic looking, and Misa assumed with a smile that Mamori must have bought it as a surprise present. Misa wasn't really one for diaries, but it would fit quite nicely with all the other books she had on her shelves. That settled, she placed it into her duffle bag, zipped it closed and nearly ran out the bedroom door to meet her sister.

The drive to the station had been relatively quiet, until Misa's phone rang. "Hello, this is Misa-Misa!" the idol easily slipped into her role. She never knew when the call would be a big director or company, after all.

"Misa-san," Ryuuzaki's voice filtered through. "You're very cheerful today."

"Eh?" Misa panicked, not knowing what to do. "Oh, it's... you."

"'You?'" he mimicked, insulted. Flatly, he retorted, "It's good to hear your voice, too."

"Misa is happy to hear from you," she said, nervously looking at Mamori. "I'm just surprised to hear from you."

"Misa, who's that?" Mamori asked, offhandedly.

"Who? This?" Misa pointed at the phone, stupidly.

"Yes. Who am I, Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki asked, sounding amused.

Misa wanted to kill him. He didn't have the slightest clue that she was trying to prevent her sister from angrily blowing up on the highway, and getting them horribly killed in a car accident. "Shut up," she muttered to him.

"Well?" Mamori prompted, eyes on the road.

At a lost, she grabbed for the first thing her mind came up with. "Misa's secret boyfriend."

That made Mamori turn quickly to her, the car jerking to the left a bit. Mamori's shocked face slowly changed to one of merriment. "He's not very secret if you tell me about him, Misa."

"I'm your boyfriend?" Ryuuzaki asked, not sounding at all like he believed it.

"No, you're not!" Misa snapped at him.

"Oh. I'm heart broken."

"You shouldn't yell at your boyfriend, Misa," Mamori advised, not hearing half of the conversation that was going on next to her. "He'll dump you if you're too mean."

"Hpmh!" Misa frowned.

"Did I call at a bad time?" Ryuuzaki asked, entirely unsympathetic.

"Yes, yes you did," she told him, as the car pulled to a stop at the train station. "Misa needs to catch her train now. Call me _later._"

"You know, a good girlfriend could call her boyfriend back instead," Mamori suggested, handing her sister her bags as she stepped out of the car.

"He won't give Misa his number," Misa said, getting a little too irritated to realize she should stop.

"He won't?" Mamori raised a brow. "Well, that's not very trust worthy."

"Misa knows! He's very mean to Misa," she stressed the last sentence through the phone, and heard Ryuuzaki click his tongue.

"But it also sounds kind of mysterious," Mamori added, smiling. "Is he handsome?"

Ryuuzaki chuckled on the phone, and Misa silently damned him for being able to hear so well. "Misa is going to leave now!" she declared, giving her sister a quick goodbye kiss, before she ran to the platform.

But not quick enough to get away from Mamori's hollered, "Call me about your 'secret' boyfriend later, or I'll never forgive you!"

"Ryuuzaki-san has horrible timing!" Misa growled into the receiver once she was sure Mamori was nowhere to be seen.

"I apologize, Misa-san," he said, not sounding at all sincere. "It's not like I know what you're doing all the time."

"Hmmm," Misa's eyes narrowed.

"Still, did you have a good week with your sister?"

"Yes, I did," she replied, watching the train pull up. "It reminded me about a few things."

"Did it? And what were they, if I may ask?"

"That Misa had the best parents ever. That Misa needs to be a better sister. And..." Misa walked onto the train, and she caught sight of a looming shadow making its way above the passenger car. "Hm?"

"What was that, Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Nothing," Misa responded, not seeing anything when she looked up. "It's nothing."

"I see. So, what was the last thing you were reminded of?"

"The last thing?" Misa sat down, looking at her solemn reflection in the glass. She sighed, a pang of fear going through her chest. "The last thing that Misa remembered is that Misa's sister is never wrong. Even when I want her to be."


	8. Jolt!

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Still with me? Good. Let's go.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 3: Jolt!**

The first couple days back from her vacation, Misa was exhausted. Spending so much time awake and talking to her sister had finally come crashing down on her, and Misa wanted nothing more in the world than to sleep forever. She couldn't comprehend how Ryuuzaki managed it. Even with her trying to get as much rest as she could between her busy schedule, she was becoming more and more agitated with each moment.

And thinking of Ryuuzaki wasn't helping her temperament, either. Misa suspected that her rather lousy behavior was really more due to him than lack of sleep.

It's not as if she hadn't seen the evidence in front of her own eyes. The police at the precinct had been all abuzz about Ryuuzaki the day she had met him. And he had always known things about the case that proved he had to have been part of the investigation team. Lastly, his name was clearly and thoroughly on every report that Mamori had about their parents' case.

However, that's where Misa had her issue. She didn't like to admit it to herself --it left a bad taste in her mouth-- but for all the months she had known Ryuuzaki, she couldn't claim that she really _knew_ him. Sure, she knew little quirks; his odd way of holding himself, his habit of perching instead of sitting, and his constant desire for sugar. Misa knew he was a detective, and that he held his opinion of justice in a fairly high respect. But, what else of him? She didn't know anything of his past. Of where he came from before their meeting. Nor did he ever tell her just what he was doing in Tokyo at the moment.

Then, there was the fact that while Misa didn't know Ryuuzaki that well, she knew Mamori inside and out. Her sister was, to put it plainly, a living personification of a recorder. She could remember any conversation she had with eerie accuracy, and her photographic memory allowed her to remember book passages that Misa herself wouldn't recall if she had just read them two minutes before Mamori recited them to her.

If Mamori said Ryuuzaki's name hadn't been on the files before, Misa couldn't help but feel at least a part of her believed those words. Even though she tried desperately to convince herself that Mamori was mistaken. After all, she couldn't remember a single time when her sister had been wrong about any of her recollections.

Still, if she were to believe her sister's theory of the papers being switched, the question of _why_ remained. Why wouldn't Ryuuzaki's name be on the case files to begin with? What could he possibly be trying to hide by erasing evidence of his existence?

The whole thought process was giving Misa constant headaches, and was making her rather difficult to be around at times. More than once she had to reign herself in from making harsh remarks to photographers that would accidentally say something to set her off.

Misa wished to any God that may have heard her to have everything go back to the way it was. It was much simpler then.

On one particularly draining day, Misa returned to her apartment with her feet feeling like lead. Dragging herself to her couch, she collapsed onto it and stared blankly at the ceiling. Maybe Ryuuzaki would call tonight. Then, perhaps she would have the courage to ask him about it. With an unladylike snort, Misa waved that thought aside. He would simply tell her what she had told Mamori; of course his name was always on the files. What a silly thing to ask about.

With a sigh, Misa leaned down and pulled out her scrapbook from underneath her coffee table. As she did so, the black book that Mamori had left her fell out as well. Misa had been using it to help make the scrapbook seem less conspicuous. She hadn't known what else to do with it. Feeling too lazy to pick it up, Misa kicked it away with her stocking foot.

"You shouldn't treat your presents so badly," a deep voice behind her reprimanded.

Any bit of sleepiness was chased away in an instant, and Misa felt her heart leap into her throat. Gripping the scrapbook with the idea of using it as a weapon if necessary, she jumped off the couch, and spun around to face the intruder.

Looming over the back of the couch was a large, skeletal abomination of a creature. Pointed bones stuck out of its broad shoulders, and a mask of wrappings hid the left side of its gaunt face. Gangly arms hung to its emaciated sides, its webbed fingers twittering slightly in almost a nervous gesture. It looked down upon Misa with one yellow eye with a slightly amused expression. At least, in hindsight Misa considered it to be amused.

For the present, Misa found it terrifying. Horror ran through her body like electricity; from her toes, and coursing viciously up to her throat, until it finished its destination in one high pitched scream of fear.

That resulted in the monster lurching forward, using its long arms to its advantage, and effectively covering Misa's mouth to stop her from screaming.

"Don't do that," it said, almost pleading. "I'm not here to hurt you."

Shaking with fright, Misa looked up at the creature, incredulously. It didn't expect her to believe that, did it? Whatever it was, it had somehow snuck into her apartment, and it looked like it was quite capable of breaking her in half if it so desired.

It seemed to pick up on Misa's thoughts. "If I had wanted to do you harm, don't you think I would've done it by now? I didn't bother giving you that book just to kill you now."

Book? Misa's eyes darted to the side, but Mamori's present was too far behind her to see it. Did the monster mean that book?

"If you promise not to scream, I'll let go," it said.

Misa gave the monster a hard look, trying to decipher whether or not it was telling her the truth. However, it's face was too alien to her mind to be able to figure out if it was looking at her with sincerity or with murderous intent. Misa realized that no matter what the situation was, if the creature wanted to kill her it surely would without her being able to do anything about it.

So, Misa hesitantly nodded, even if she couldn't stop her body from shivering.

"Good," it nodded in return, loosening its hold on her. "Just don't scream."

When it released her completely, Misa dropped the scrapbook that she had been holding in a death grip, and pressed her hands to her chest as if it would stop her heart from pounding. She stared up at the monster, wide eyed. After taking a few deep breaths, Misa managed to utter out a shaky, "W-what are you?"

The creature seemed pleased that Misa hadn't begun to scream again, and appeared to smile slightly. "My name is Rem. I am what you would refer to as a shinigami."

"A... a god of death?" Misa laughed nervously. "Misa doesn't believe in fairy tales. Or horror stories."

"I'm neither nor," Rem informed her. "I am what I am. A shinigami. And you are not dreaming, or hallucinating. I'm very real."

"Well, Misa believes that," she admitted. "I usually wake up at this scary a part. But I don't understand. If you're a real shinigami, why are you here? Are you... " she paled a bit. "Are you here for Misa's soul?"

"I already told you that if I had wished to kill you then you already would be dead," Rem reminded her.

"But, why else would a shinigami come to visit Misa?" she asked, slowly calming down now that the threat of death seemed to be gone.

Rem seemed almost perplexed at the idea. "Shinigami coming down to earth to kill? You humans have such strange ideas. I came down here not to take your life, but to give you that notebook there." It pointed to the book that laid behind Misa.

Misa walked over and picked the black book up, confusion evident on her face. "Mamori's present to Misa?"

"It was not a gift from your sister," Rem corrected her. "It was a gift from me."

"From you," Misa raised a brow. "You wanted to give me a shinigami's diary?"

"It's not a diary. Though, I guess it is the closest thing to one a shinigami has," the death god relented. "It is a Death Note. It's how a shinigami takes lives."

Misa's eyes widened, feeling as though fingers of ice were gripping her heart. "A book that kills?"

"Yes," Rem nodded. "If you write down a person's name in it, they will die. There are, of course, rules to follow. But that one is the first and most important of them."

"A book that can kill people. That's very scary," Misa frowned. "Why would you give this to Misa?"

"Because, it's yours," Rem answered, shortly. "It's as simple as that."

"But, Misa is not a shinigami," she awkwardly smiled, uncomfortable at the thought of owning such a thing. "And Misa could never kill anyone!"

"I've been watching you for a while, Misa. You wanted to kill your parents' murderer, did you not?" Rem's visible eye seemed to bore through the girl.

Misa shuddered. "That's different! He was a bad man. And even then, Misa couldn't have killed him, because it would've made her a bad person. Besides, Kira punished him for Misa."

"Yes, he did," Rem agreed.

"Kira punished him... " Something clicked in Misa's mind, and she suddenly held the book up in front of Rem, her expression intense. "Does Kira have a Death Note?"

"I-"

Misa interrupted. "Rem said that anyone who has their name written will die, yes? So, that means you don't have to be anywhere near the person to kill them, right? As long as you have their name."

"You have to have their face, too," Rem added.

"A face and a name. That's it. That's... That's how Kira kills, right?" Misa stared up fiercely, fear gone. "Right?"

"...I admit that I've only been watching _you_ these past months," Rem began. "But, from what I've gathered of this 'Kira' that you follow, yes, he most likely does have a Death Note."

"So, Kira has a Death Note. That's how he punishes the bad people," Misa hugged the book to her body, reverently. "Now, Misa finally knows something about Kira that nobody else does. Not even L!"

"L?" Rem questioned.

Misa frowned. "L is the bad detective that wants to catch Kira. But, that's okay because Kira is much smarter than L, so he'll never get caught! And now Misa has something that might even help her find Kira."

Rem looked apprehensive. "Hey, I gave that Note to you to help _you._ Not Kira. Don't go and get yourself killed."

"Misa will be careful. Don't worry," she smiled. "Misa is much smarter than everyone thinks."

On the coffee table, Misa's cell phone began to ring, startling the girl a bit. But Misa had a feeling that any sudden noise or movement was going to scare her for a while after this experience.

"This is Misa-Misa!" she cheerfully answered after she picked it up. "Hello, Ryuuzaki-san!"

There was a moment of silence on the other end. "You're getting better at this, Misa-san," he complimented.

"Misa has realized that whenever the number is either strange or restricted, it must be Ryuuzaki-san," she explained.

"I see."

"Hey, Ryuuzaki-san?" she began, eyeing Rem, who was feigning courtesy by turning away. "Will you be visiting soon?"

"I'm not sure," he replied. "My schedule is sporadic, at best, when it comes to any free time. Why?"

"It's just that Misa has missed seeing you." And she had questions. Oh, did she have questions. But she knew better than to let him know that. Misa had learned that dealing with Ryuuzaki was like dealing with a skittery bird. One wrong movement, and he'd fly away. "And Misa likes to speak to you in person more than over the phone."

"I'll do my best to visit when I can, then. But, I can't guarantee anything," he warned.

"I see. Please, try to see Misa soon, though, okay? It would make Misa very happy!" she prodded.

"Like I said," Ryuuzaki sighed, "I'll do my best."

"Okay, okay," she relented. "Misa will not push anymore. Actually, Misa needs to go now, anyway."

"So soon?" he asked, surprised. She didn't blame him. She was usually the one to drag out their conversations.

"Sorry, Ryuuzaki-san. Misa is trying to memorize a script for a role she's trying out for. It's very important to my career." Misa tapped the Death Note's spine to her pursed lips for a moment, before saying, "I have to remember everything on the spot, after all. So, Misa needs her full focus on this."

"You seem very serious about this audition, Misa-san," Ryuuzaki commented.

"Misa _is_ serious. Ryuuzaki-san understands, right?"

"Of course. We all take our work seriously when it's important," he remarked, his voice slightly graver than usual. "I'll let you go, then. Good luck to you."

"Thank you, Ryuuzaki-san. Don't forget to visit Misa!" she couldn't help but add, before shutting the phone closed.

"Are you done?" Rem asked, turning back to her.

"Yes and no." Misa stared down at the book in her hands for a moment, before looking at Rem with a determined face. "Rem, you said that there were rules to the Death Note."

"Yes," Rem nodded. "I don't know them all. No shinigami does, expect maybe the king. But I know a fair amount."

Misa's expression didn't waver. "Tell Misa every rule you know. Every single one of them."


	9. Say Ah

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me. 

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. And I fully admit that I've been _dying_ to write this particular chapter from the beginning. Enjoy it. And yes, mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 18: "Say Ahh..."**

After two days of Rem stating, repeating, and then repeating some more, Misa had managed to memorize every rule to the Death Note that the shinigami knew. It was a fascinating thing to learn about, and Misa found herself murmuring the rules underneath her breath at times, the simple sound of them causing her heart to flutter.

She had the same tool of punishment that Kira had. The same ability to judge the wicked. It was a possibility that both intrigued and frightened her.

But Rem would constantly say that Misa had been given the Death Note to solely help herself, not someone else. Misa would then stick her tongue out at the death god, not dignifying Rem's reprimands with a proper response.

Rem, Misa decided, was not so bad to be around, once one got over their initial fear of seeing a shinigami hovering over them. Rem was polite, a good listener, and worldly. Misa also found out --because she simply couldn't help but _ask_-- that Rem was a girl. Though, Rem seemed to be completely confused why Misa had found that so shocking.

And while Rem seemed to always be around, she also knew that there were times when Misa wanted her privacy, and would leave accordingly. This relieved Misa more than she wanted to admit. However, it had still taken her a few days before she stopped wearing a bathing suit in the shower.

Simply put, Misa viewed Rem as a fairly pleasant roommate. A roommate that could walk through walls, kill people, and was only seen and heard by Misa, of course. Still, a nice roommate to have.

Misa talked to Rem at length about Ryuuzaki, and how she was beginning to have her suspicions. Rem did little to ease her wariness.

"I don't like him," the shinigami had stated once.

Misa had tilted her head, confused. "Rem said she watched Misa for a while. So, Rem has seen Ryuuzaki-san before, yes? Why don't you like him?"

"Yes, I've see him," Rem frowned. "He's... I don't like the way he looks."

Misa had laughed at that. "But Rem is just as silly looking as Ryuuzaki-san!"

Rem had seen little humor in the comparison, but had reiterated her distaste with the detective, and had left it at that. And every time Rem would try to turn the conversation towards Misa's Death Note and its possible use, Misa would deftly go right back to Ryuuzaki.

It's not that Misa didn't have her own ideas of what to do with Rem's gift. It was that her ideas scared her, and she didn't want to dwell on them. Kira was the punisher of criminals. Misa-Misa was simply an idol. And each time her imagination dared to venture past her tiny world, dared to wonder about the what if's, Misa would remember the look on Ryuuzaki's face as he read the article about the deaths of the FBI agents. She didn't think she would ever have the heart to be responsible for him ever looking that way, even if she was doing it to carry out justice.

Besides, Misa had more important matters to attend to. Like figuring out how to interrogate a brilliant detective without him realizing it.

Honestly, Misa didn't think she could truly outsmart Ryuuzaki. If she wasn't perfectly cautious in this endeavor, there was no way she be successful. Ryuuzaki would catch on that she was trying to pry, and he'd shut up before she made any headway at all. Subtly was key, she decided. She had to make it seem that her questions weren't out of the ordinary for her, at all. She could do that, right? She was Misa-Misa, after all. Ryuuzaki was good, but Misa was a natural actress. Surely, this was something she should be able to beat him on.

The big trick, Misa realized, was making sure that Ryuuzaki would even be there to talk to. It seemed obvious that it would take time to get any decent information out of someone so guarded, so Misa was prepared to have to ask only a couple choice questions during the random appearances Ryuuzaki made.

But it was the sporadic nature of his visits that worried her. Any other man, and Misa would safely assume that her looks and charm alone would get him to drop by her apartment on a regular basis. With Ryuuzaki, however, it was painfully apparent that simply being Misa-Misa was not good enough. Which Misa found slightly insulting, though she'd never admit to it.

So, Misa conceived what she thought to be a most ingenious plan to make sure that Ryuuzaki visited as often as he could. Misa was quite proud of this idea when she told it to Rem. Rem on the other hand had simply given her a flat look, and a long suffering sigh. Obviously, the shinigami didn't find the detective worth all the effort.

When Ryuuzaki finally did arrive at Misa's doorstep, she was quite certain that she was fully prepared for him.

A mere two steps into the apartment, and Ryuuzaki's eyes lit up, a small, almost hesitant smile appearing on his face.

"Misa-san," he began, forefinger caught between his teeth, "your apartment smells... interesting."

Misa bestowed upon him her brightest smile. "Does it? Misa has been baking!"

His smile faded, and he looked slightly apprehensive. "Baking? You?"

She frowned at his visible misgivings over the statement. "Yes, me. I've been working really hard to learn, too."

Ryuuzaki casually kicked off his untied shoes like an impatient child, then turned to her with an unreadable expression. "I thought you don't eat sweets."

She shrugged. "Misa doesn't. But it looks really good on an idol's profile, so Misa thought she would try." She spun away from him, and walked over to the kitchenette. "I've been trying my cakes and cookies out on my neighbors. They've all really liked them," she assured him with a look that dared him to contradict her.

He didn't seem entirely convinced. "I'm sure."

Misa huffed, arms akimbo. "They're not just being nice! Misa is really good at this. But, if Ryuuzaki-san doesn't want to try any of the cakes that Misa made with him in mind, then that's fine by Misa."

Ryuuzaki shuffled his feet over to the counter that separated himself from Misa, and leaned against it, tapping a finger against his bottom lip. "You made me cakes?" he asked, a hint of eagerness in his voice.

_Success._ Misa smiled innocently. "Misa baked a few cakes that she thought Ryuuzaki-san would like. But you don't trust my baking skills, so I won't share them. Misa wouldn't want to poison Ryuuzaki-san." She emphasized her point by sticking her tongue out at him.

Ryuuzaki shifted his footing, before leaning in farther. "I do believe we've had this conversation before, Misa-san," he reminded her.

"Misa seems to recall it," she agreed, pouting. "But Ryuuzaki-san didn't insult Misa's baking before."

"I wasn't trying to be insulting," Ryuuzaki defended, his fingers gripping and releasing the edge of the counter repeatedly. Misa had noticed the more he moved his hands, the quicker his mind was working. "I was simply surprised that you had taken up such a hobby. I apologize if I offended you."

Misa gave him a hard look, rather enjoying the slightly pleading expression he had. It almost made her forget why she had really made the cakes. Bearing that reminder, Misa sighed melodramatically. "Fine. Ryuuzaki-san is forgiven."

Misa ordered Ryuuzaki to his usual spot on the couch, while she fetched the food. From the corner of her eye, Misa spotted Rem hovering over Ryuuzaki. If a stranger had been able to see it, they probably would've assumed that the shinigami was contemplating eating the young man. Misa knew that Rem was just observing him, filing everything he did into the back of her memory for later use against him whenever Misa brought him up. Misa thought that Rem was a bit too protective for someone who had told her that when it was Misa's time to die, Rem herself would be the one to do it.

With a quick glare at her shinigami partner that she hoped conveyed a message for her to leave Ryuuzaki be, Misa joined him on the couch, carefully placing down the three plates she had been balancing in front of him.

He contemplated the three slices of cake, a finger pulling down his bottom lip slightly. "Just three pieces?" he asked.

Misa frowned at him. "Ryuuzaki-san can't possibly eat each cake... in one sitting," she added when he gave her a daring sideways glance. "Misa doesn't want to see you get sick. If Ryuuzaki-san is _still_ hungry afterwards, I'll give him more."

Ryuuzaki smiled slightly, reaching for the fork, as his eyes jumped from plate to plate as he decided which one to try first. Misa determined he looked almost childlike in his delight, and she giggled when began to tap the fork against his lips in thought.

"This one is a chocolate mousse cake, then a strawberry shortcake. Misa is very proud of it, because it looks so pretty. And the last is a cheesecake. Misa is not so sure of the cheesecake," she hesitantly warned him, embarrassed. "I made the other two before, but not that one."

"So, I'm to be your guinea pig, Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki asked, eyes never leaving the desserts.

"Ryuuzaki-san likes sweets more than anyone else I know," she explained. "So, Misa thought you would be the best to judge her talents."

"I'm flattered that you hold me in such high regard." The statement was said so straightly that Misa couldn't figure out if he was being sarcastic or not. But his fork had already dug into the chocolate cake, so she decided to let it go.

As the piece entered his mouth, Misa found herself holding her breath. She knew in the back of her mind that the real reason she had even started baking was to give Ryuuzaki a better incentive to visit her. That it was all a ploy to keep him around more often, so she could slowly pry the information she wanted out of him, if she ever could.

Even so, Misa didn't like to fail at anything she tried, even if it was just to cover up her true intentions. So, she sat with her hands clasped together, and bottom lip being chewed in anticipation to the young detective's reaction.

He must have realized she was staring, because instead of saying anything, he sat there with a blank expression on his face. He chewed slowly, the tongs of his fork scraping lightly against his bottom lip. Finally, he opened his mouth as if he were about to speak, and Misa held her breath. However, he simply reached for another forkful, this time of the shortcake. It was just a bit too much for Misa.

"Stop that!" she cried, reaching over and giving him a good shake. "Tell Misa if you like it!"

Ryuuzaki turned to her, a bit frazzled for a moment, before he gave her a tiny smile. "I thought it best to save my opinions until I tried them all, Misa-san. For comparison's sake, of course."

Misa puffed her cheeks out, annoyed. "Ryuuzaki-san is just being mean to Misa. Again!"

"Hmmmm?" he popped a piece of the shortcake in his mouth, and chewed. Swallowing, he replied, "I've never been mean to you, Misa-san. You just overreact to situations."

"I do not overreact," she pouted, tiny fists in her lap. "Ryuuzaki-san likes to be mean to Misa, just like he likes being perverted."

"You're the one who wears outfits specifically designed to illicit impure thoughts in young men," he pointed out, jabbing at the cheesecake. "How am I the perverted one?"

"Misa only wears those outfits because of work!" she declared, indignant.

"Then how do you explain your present outfit?"

She stared, incredulous. A tank top and a skirt, perverted? Even her tights were opaque. She was covered quite nicely! How dare Ryuuzaki say and think otherwise. Especially think it. Blushing, she fingered her plaid skirt, before reaching over and yanking on Ryuuzaki's hair. "Ryuuzaki-san is the biggest pervert Misa knows."

He rubbed his head a moment, but simply went back to taking bites of cake.

Fed up at his evasion, Misa made a grab for the fork, only to find that Ryuuzaki's reflexes were a lot quicker than she expected. He easily avoided each try she made, and further frustrated her when he proved to not be ticklish under his arms.

Defeated, Misa took revenge the only way she could. She leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder. This resulted in the desired affect of Ryuuzaki stiffening uncomfortably.

"Misa-san," he muttered, jostling the shoulder she was touching slightly, "could you please sit up straight?"

"No," she answered, stubbornly. "Not until Ryuuzaki-san tells me what he thinks of the cakes."

"... I like the chocolate one," he answered. "It has a nice sweetness to it."

"Really?" Misa tilted her head up, but otherwise didn't move.

Realizing that wouldn't be good enough, he continued. "The cheesecake needs more sugar. It doesn't taste like much." He winced at the light punch in the arm he received. "Misa-san _did_ want me to tell the truth, right?"

"Well, yes. But," she pouted, "Misa was hoping the truth was that you liked the cakes a lot."

"I did like the chocolate one," he pointed out. "Though, it's difficult to go wrong with chocolate."

"And the shortcake?" Misa prodded. "Misa worked hard on that one."

"Yes, that one. Well, the shortcake tastes like... " he nibbled thoughtfully on his thumb, eyes to the ceiling. "It tastes like Misa-san."

"Like... Misa?" she raised a delicate brow, confused.

"Yes," Ryuuzaki nodded, pleased with his answer. "It definitely tastes like Misa-san."

Behind them, Rem's voice suddenly echoed. "This boy is really annoying with the way he talks in circles."

Misa was inclined to agree with the eavesdropping shinigami. She sat up straight, scowling. "Misa can't stand it when Ryuuzaki-san doesn't explain what he means."

He looked at her, expression almost vacant. "I thought I was being fairly clear."

"Ryuuzaki-san is never clear. He never tells Misa anything she wants to know."

"You wanted to know what I thought of the cakes. I answered."

"I want to know more than that," she admitted, frustrated.

He tilted his head. "Should I talk about their icing?"

She threw her hands in the air. "Misa doesn't mean about the cakes!"

Ryuuzaki gave her an even look, and asked, tonelessly, "What do you mean then, Misa-san?"

Before Misa could answer, Rem stuck her head in between the two. "Careful, Misa," she warned. "I still don't like him, but even I know that he's wary now. Say something foolish, and you won't get what you want."

Misa weighed her next words carefully, knowing Rem was correct. She had almost completely botched her plan. At least she could try to pick up the pieces that were left, and see if they were usable.

Sighing, she leaned against him again, this time wrapping her arms around his thin waist. It didn't much matter to her if he disliked the contact or not. As long as she held him it meant he wasn't going anywhere, and that mattered the most to her.

"Forget it," she murmured. "Ryuuzaki-san's a big detective, yes? But he can't tell Misa what he's doing."

"Correct," he said, with the same emotionless voice he'd used previously.

"Misa is afraid that if you tell her anything, you'll disappear again. And that'll be bad," her voiced hitched a little, and she pressed her face firmly against his shoulder. "So, Misa would rather know nothing and have Ryuuzaki-san around, than know something and have him go away."

"I see." There was a pregnant silence, before Ryuuzaki spoke again. "Misa-san, would you like to know something about me no one else does?"

She lifted her head up, blinking rapidly. "Really? No one else?"

He nodded. "My birthday. Would you like to know it?"

Misa could've blinded someone with the smile that suddenly graced her face. "Misa would very much love to know Ryuuzaki-san's birthday!"

He gave her a small smile in return before leaning over so that his lips were at her ear. He whispered his secret to her like one afraid that the walls had ears, and the news might spread at any moment if he wasn't careful. Even Rem, who stood behind them, was unable to make out the words.

When Ryuuzaki leaned back, the grin on Misa's face was as bright as ever. He seemed a little confused as to why this tidbit of information made her so happy, but he didn't look like he was going to question it, either.

"What Ryuuzaki-san just told Misa is the truth, right?" she asked. "You didn't fib, did you?"

"Of course, not," he frowned. "I wouldn't lie to you, Misa-san."

"I didn't really think you did," she admitted, and gave him a little hug. "Thank you, Ryuuzaki-san. That made Misa's day."

"Really?" he questioned, still not understanding.

"Yes. Though," she began, releasing him so she could once again sit upright, "you still haven't explained how the shortcake tastes like Misa."

"Hmmmm?" he was back to reaching for more of the sweets in front of him.

"It just doesn't make any sense to me. How could Misa taste like-?!"

She stopped in mid sentence. Or, it was more like Misa was forced to stop, since it was at that moment that Ryuuzaki had decided to stick a cake covered fingertip into her mouth. She froze in shock, as she tasted the sweetness of the cake and whipped cream, the tartness of the strawberries, and just a hint of salt as his finger barely grazed her tongue. Thinking nothing of it, Ryuuzaki pulled back his digit, and licked off what little cake was left on it.

Misa's felt her face burn in embarrassment, and wondered just how socially inhibited Ryuuzaki truly was to not understand the implications of his actions. Even Rem was staring at him incredulously.

He turned to her, completely nonplussed. "See? Tastes like Misa-san."


	10. Ano Sa, Hey You Know

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 5: "Ano Sa" ("Hey, you know...")**

Questioning Ryuuzaki, Misa found, was rather a cat and mouse game.

"Ryuuzaki-san, what's your favorite color?"

"I haven't really thought about it."

"Eh?! Everyone has a favorite color!"

"Really? ...I suppose it's red."

Creep a little forward. Inching, barely moving.

"Ryuuzaki-san, do you know how to dance?"

"Technically. However, I've been told I don't have the grace for it."

"Figures."

Don't do anything to startle him.

"Ryuuzaki-san, why do you sit like that? You're making an odd dent in Misa's sofa."

"I think better when I sit this way."

"How does sitting silly help Ryuuzaki-san think?"

"I'm most at ease like this. It's very comfortable. You should try it."

"Sit with my legs up? But Misa is wearing a short skirt!"

"And?"

"Ryuuzaki-san is such a pervert!"

Make sure to be in perfect striking distance.

"Hey, Ryuuzaki-san, do you like cats or dogs better?"

"Does it really matter?"

"People say you can judge someone's personality on which one they like. Misa likes cats. She doesn't like anything that's too dependent."

"I can't say I have a preference. I don't like animals much."

"That doesn't surprise Misa. Ryuuzaki-san can barely take care of himself!"

"...I think I do rather well, Misa-san."

And when the time was right --when it looked as though he suspected no danger-- _pounce._

"Ryuuzaki-san, do you have any family?"

The forkful of sugared poundcake stilled for only a moment, before Ryuuzaki brought it to his mouth. He chewed with a deliberate slowness that made Misa wonder if that was far too personal a question to get an answer out of him.

She had thought that such an open question would give him the opportunity to answer just as vaguely. Give her a small insight, at best, but at least something. Just a tiny hope that she could get more substantial information from him later. How else would she ever figure him out?

Finally, his dark eyes shifted to her. "Why do you ask, Misa-san?"

Misa shrugged, feigning casualness. "Misa is just curious. Ryuuzaki-san knows all about my family, but I don't know anything about his. It's only fair."

He took another bite of poundcake, instead of answering. Of course, he would. Misa had already come to realize that there were no spontaneous movements or speeches made by the detective. Everything Ryuuzaki did was deliberate. He would answer only when he had thought everything over, and come to what he concluded to be the best response.

But that didn't mean she couldn't try to goad something out of him quicker.

"Hey, Ryuuzaki-san," Misa elbowed him lightly on the arm. "It's not that hard a question, is it?"

Ryuuzaki set down his plateful of cake, and reached for his coffee. A long sip later, he turned back to Misa. "I suppose not, no. It's just you've never asked me such a question before."

"Misa knows that," she nodded, twirling a pigtail, and looking for all the world as innocent as the day she was born. "But I just began to wonder if Ryuuzaki-san had any siblings, or something. Misa thinks it would funny."

He blinked- the closest thing to confusion that he ever showed. "Funny?"

"Yes," she grinned. "A family full of slouching, weirdly sitting, sugar eaters is funny to Misa."

Another blink, and then Ryuuzaki looked up at the ceiling, one finger pulling on his bottom lip. "Would that really be funny?"

"Well... ," Misa frowned a little. Had she struck a nerve? He didn't _really_ have an entire family just like him, did he? "It would be interesting, at least."

"The chance of having an entire family act and talk the exact same way is less than point five percent, Misa-san," he said, eyes never leaving the ceiling. "In other words, it would never happen. Realistically, anyway. You don't act like your sister, do you?"

Misa pictured her sister in her head. Hardworking Mamori, who dressed conservatively, and spoke with perfect diction. The idol frowned at the thought of trying to act even remotely like her straightlaced sibling. "No. I wouldn't want to."

"Due to the effects of both nature and nurture, everyone grows up with their own personality, their own quirks. Even identical twins." He was looking down again, spindly fingers grasping for his coffee cup. "It's a scientific fact."

"So, no one in Ryuuzaki-san's family sits all scrunched up like him?" She stuck her tongue out teasingly when he gave her a sidelong glance.

Ryuuzaki fell silent again, tapping the cup in his hands with a pinky. Misa began to worry that he was going to simply avoid the question all together, or worse yet, leave. She hadn't thought that this might be a sore point for her guest. She liked talking about her family. It made her feel better during the times she missed her parents. She didn't calculate in the idea that it might be the exact opposite for Ryuuzaki.

After finishing up his coffee in an almost messy gulp, he responded. "I wouldn't really know, Misa-san," he admitted, licking coffee drops off his lips.

Misa frowned, confused. "I don't understand."

Ryuuzaki shrugged lightly, now picking on his cake. "I never had a family, per say. Just my father, and I can't recall picking up any habits from him." He took a bite of the dessert, staring blankly in front of him.

Misa's imagined family for Ryuuzaki was destroyed as quickly as it was created. In its place was a fuzzy image in her mind of gaunt little boy curled up next to a chair that held a grown man with similar features, but who held himself with more authority. She couldn't quite get the picture to become clear, and it frustrated her. Was Ryuuzaki just born unique and strange? He didn't take after anyone at all?

Still, she decided to go with what she had. "So," Misa grinned, "Ryuuzaki-san has a father? Maybe Misa can meet him one day."

"_Had_," he corrected, voice flat. "He died a little over a decade ago."

Misa winced. Ryuuzaki wasn't much older than her, if at all. It had been bad enough to lose her parents when she was nineteen. She couldn't imagine how she would've handled the loss if she'd been a small child. Then again, Misa suspected that Ryuuzaki coped with life's ups and downs quite a bit differently than most people.

"Misa's sorry," she murmured, slightly deflated.

"There's no need to apologize, Misa-san," he said, chewing on another piece of cake. The dark cast that had been present on his face moments before had disappeared, and he seemed like his old self again. "It was a long time ago."

She nodded, tracing a finger along one of the tiny skulls that patterned her skirt. "Still," she began, biting her lip, "Ryuuzaki-san didn't get anything at all from his father?"

He looked down at his now empty plate, and scraped his finger across the ceramic to pick up any crumbs. Licking the tiny morsels off his digit, his eyes once again wandered to the ceiling. He always seemed to look up whenever he was deciding whether to answer straightly or not.

"Only his name," he replied, and his voice was so cold that Misa nearly shivered.

Smartly, Misa decided it was best to stop while she was ahead. So, she raised her voice half an octave, and clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Well, if Ryuuzaki-san wants, he can share Mamori with Misa! Then he can have a sister, too."

His eyes shifted to her. "Why would I want to do that?"

She pouted, and placed her hands on her hips. "Because it's nice to have family. Besides, Mamori's a very good sister!"

It was obvious to her that he found the idea quite absurd. But instead of pointing that out, he responded with, "But, you always complain about your sister."

Misa bristled. "That's because Misa and Mamori act very differently! But Mamori is in law, just like Ryuuzaki-san. So, you'd probably get along really well." _If_ Mamori didn't strangle him upon finding out who he was. But he didn't need to know that part.

Ryuuzaki nibbled on the end of his forefinger. "While I appreciated the offer, Misa-san, I think I'll decline. From what you've told me of your sister, she sounds like a nag."

Horrified, she gaped at him. "Ryuuzaki-san can't speak that way about my sister!"

"I'm only using your words!" he defended, flinching when Misa gave his hair a hard yank. "You've called her that on more than one occasion. I'm simply going by the impression of her that you yourself gave me."

"It doesn't matter," Misa retorted, fuming childishly. "Misa is allowed to pick on Mamori because she's Misa's sister. But Ryuuzaki-san can't!"

He tilted his head, frowning. "That makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense!" she reached out again, this time with both of her tiny fists giving his hair a good pull. He flailed a bit as the assault caused him to slightly lose balance. "Ryuuzaki-san is so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

In the middle of Misa's little attack, Ryuuzaki nearly fell over, and he reached out to catch himself. His hand unfortunately landed on Misa's thigh, and with a screech of, "_Pervert!_" her hair tugging quickly changed to pushing, and Ryuuzaki went toppling over. His body kissed the ground with a rather ungraceful thump, and he stared up blankly at the ceiling.

Blushing, Misa fumed silently at him, rubbing her leg where he touched her as if it burned. Ryuuzaki slowly got himself upright, but remained crouched on the floor, instead of returning to his seat on the couch along side her.

"That was entirely unnecessary, Misa-san," he commented, sounding almost put out.

Misa crossed her arms, and frowned. "Ryuuzaki-san shouldn't have grabbed Misa's leg!"

"I didn't grab it. Besides, I wouldn't have touched you at all if you hadn't been pulling my hair."

"Misa only did that because you insulted Mamori!"

"I was only reiterating words you yourself used in the past."

"And Misa already explained that only Misa can pick on Mamori!"

"That still doesn't make any sense."

"Ryuuzaki-san is still stupid!"

He finally gave her a flat look. "This isn't getting us anywhere," he declared, standing up. "I should probably go."

"Huh? So soon?" Misa pouted, dismayed. "But you just got here!"

Ryuuzaki scratched the side of his right leg with the heel of his foot, not making eye contact. "I've been here for about two hours, Misa-san. I have work to do."

She tilted her head, her pout not disappearing. "And work is more important than Misa?"

"Yes, very," he replied, with no hesitation.

Misa gawked at him for a moment, a small voice in the back of her head reminding her that this _was_ Ryuuzaki, and he said plenty of things without thinking that they were hurtful. It still didn't entirely take away the sting, though.

"Misa wants to be important, too," she muttered, turning her face away and squaring her shoulders. A little louder, she added, "If you need to go, then go. I don't want to be a _nag,_ or anything."

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Ryuuzaki had not moved. Instead he seemed to be staring intently at her, thumb caught between his teeth. However, when she turned back to ask him what he was looking at, he had already started to make his way to the door. Misa couldn't tell if his timing was either really bad, or just that good.

Ryuuzaki opened the front door, but stopped for a moment, fingers twittering over the knob. "I'll see if I can visit again soon," he said.

Childishly, Misa refused to look at him leave, instead opting to keep her back to him as she sat rigidly on the couch. She knew his statement was an apology of sorts; he never usually promised visits unless she pushed for them. Still, Misa didn't like being second best to anyone or anything. Certainly not to some investigation. What could possibly be so important that it garnered more of Ryuuzaki's attention than her?

She huffed, still not turning. "Do what you want."

There was a long moment of silence, before a soft click indicated that the young man had left. Misa released a deep sigh she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"I still don't understand why you bother," Rem commented, her upper body suddenly appearing through the wall that connected the living room and her bedroom. "He's terribly annoying."

Rem's sudden words and appearance didn't even faze Misa. She'd gotten used to the shinigami's habit of popping in and out of rooms.

Misa frowned. "Misa doesn't understand it. Not at all!"

The bandaged shinigami smiled a bit. "I'm glad you're finally seeing it my way."

"What could possibly be more important than Misa?" the girl questioned, hands at her hips.

The smile vanished, and Rem let out a long suffering sigh. "Misa... "

"I understand that Ryuuzaki-san's job is important," Misa stressed. "Misa's job is important to her, too. But, I always make time for Ryuuzaki-san. Sunday is Ryuuzaki-san day! So, why can't Sunday be Misa day for Ryuuzaki-san? It's not fair. I just want one day a week. That's not much, is it?"

"I keep telling you that he's not worth it," Rem pointed out. "You should focus more on yourself. That's why I gave you the Death Note. To help you."

"But figuring out Ryuuzaki-san _is_ helping Misa," the girl argued. "Because Misa likes spending time with Ryuuzaki-san. Even if he is stupid sometimes," she added, flatly.

Rem seemed to give up, shaking her head in defeat over the situation.

"Misa thinks it's because of that old man that Ryuuzaki-san leaves all the time," Misa continued.

"Old man?" the shinigami repeated, confused.

"Yes. An old man called Ryuuzaki-san once a while back to make him leave. He didn't leave then, but," Misa frowned, tapping her chin, "maybe I was wrong in thinking that Ryuuzaki-san was the boss. Maybe the old man really _is_ the boss, and Misa got Ryuuzaki-san in trouble that time by keeping him. That's why he can't stay too long."

"Even if that's the case, what do you plan on doing about it?" Rem asked.

Misa's frown deepened. Her hands began to play with the frayed edges of her skit, her eyes downcast to the floor. Thoughts ran through Misa's head that were darker than she usually dared to have. They scared her, like they normally did, but this time she began to entertain them. After all, she had possibilities available to her that most people didn't. It would be a shame to waste them, wouldn't it?

"Ryuuzaki-san said that he can't spend much time with Misa because of a big case," Misa said, voice oddly toneless.

"Yes," Rem followed. "So?"

"So, that means that Ryuuzaki-san is probably after a really big criminal. Once he gets him, then he'll have more free time," the girl explained. "So... all Misa has to do is find out who the bad guy is that Ryuuzaki-san is trying to find."

Rem's slitted eye dilated a little, the only sign of shock --and possibly eagerness-- that showed on her gaunt features. "What will you do then, Misa?" she asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"Misa will... " Misa finally turned to the shinigami, her face pale but her expression determined, if a little fearful. "I'll write the bad man's name down in the Death Note. I'll kill him for Ryuuzaki-san."


	11. Radio Cassette Player

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me. 

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 14: Radio-Cassette Player**

"Hey, Rem?" Misa turned her head to the shinigami next to her. "Couldn't you just give Misa a clue?" 

The death god's lips quirked into a frown. "No," she answered, simply. 

"Tightwad," Misa muttered, and stuck her tongue out. 

Misa's decision to kill the criminal that Ryuuzaki was after was one she did not take lightly. She knew full well the implications of the act. That it would technically make her a murderer. That she'd be a killer in the eyes of the law. 

But surely there were exceptions. Like Kira. Kira killed the sinful, wicked people that deserved such a punishment. Misa was only planning on doing the same. Besides, it would be just this one time. Once, and then she'd never do it again. It wouldn't be too bad if she only used the Death Note a single time, and for a worthy cause. Right? 

The only problem Misa foresaw was actually trying to use it. She needed the real name of the person she was trying to kill, as well as the clear picture of their face in her mind. Unfortunately, Misa doubted that writing down, "The bad man Ryuuzaki-san is after," in the Note would be affective in the way she wanted it to be. 

She thought for sure that Rem would help her out on this matter. After all, Rem had wanted her to use the Death Note from the very beginning. However, the shinigami had explained that one of the rules she had to abide by was that a shinigami could not tell a human being the name or lifespan of another human. Misa supposed she understood the logic behind it, but it didn't make it any less frustrating. 

Misa had then come up with the rather clever (to her, anyway) plan to have Rem follow Ryuuzaki to wherever he went after he left her apartment. Rem might not be able to give her names, but she could at least give her directions. What Misa could do once she found out where Ryuuzaki stayed was a different matter that she hadn't quite thought through. However, Misa decided to fight one battle at a time. 

Rem had actually seemed to contemplate that request for a while. After one visit from Ryuuzaki, the shinigami had disappeared, and Misa was sure that Rem was with him. She had waited with bated breath for Rem's return, and when the gaunt creature did arrive she was practically pounced upon. 

"Rem is the best!" Misa declared, hands raised high in celebration. 

The shinigami seemed confused. "Pardon?" 

"Rem followed Ryuuzaki-san for Misa, yes?" Misa asked, smile not wavering. "So, you can tell me where Ryuuzaki-san goes." 

Rem stood there silently, expression unreadable. Her sudden stillness unnerved Misa. 

The girl tilted her head, dread slowly forming in her stomach. "Rem?" 

After what had seemed like an eternity, Rem finally had looked down, unable to keep eye contact any longer. "I'm sorry, Misa," she had said, voice filled with guilt. "I can't tell you." 

Rem had left immediately after that, ignoring Misa's cries. And even when she returned she'd refused to speak upon the matter again. 

All in all, it left Misa terribly upset, and she told Rem that she wasn't speaking to her anymore. When Rem would try to strike up a conversation with the girl, Misa would stubbornly give her the silent treatment, breaking it momentarily to mutter out that she'd only really talk to Rem if the shinigami gave her the information she wanted. This was always met with Rem reiterating that she couldn't, and they'd be back at the start. 

When Ryuuzaki himself came to visit once more, he was greeted to not only a plate of overly frosted cupcakes, but to Misa hunched over an old tape player. 

"Misa-san," he loomed over her, taking a generous bite out of a taken cupcake, and not minding the crumbs that dropped, "what are you trying to do?" 

"Misa is recording a demo tape," she explained, not bothering to look up. "My manager thinks it would be a good idea, since so many idols sing as well as act. And eat neatly," she chided. "Ryuuzaki-san is making a mess!" 

Ryuuzaki tilted his head slightly, and had another messy mouthful of his snack. "You can sing?" 

"I can sing very well!" Misa declared, finally meeting his eyes, as if daring him to doubt her. "And Misa told you to be _neat._" 

He crouched down next to her, fingers strumming along his knees. "But why use an old tape player?" he asked, either choosing to ignore Misa's irritation or not noticing it. "Wouldn't it make more sense to record onto a cd?" 

The girl blushed, and began to play with a lock of her hair. "Misa... Isn't very good with that sort of thing," she admitted, embarrassed. Coughing a bit, she straightened her spine. "Besides, Misa knows that lots of famous singers made demo _tapes_, not demo cds. So, I'm just following tradition," she concluded, nodding in satisfaction at her own logic. 

Ryuuzaki didn't seem too convinced by that, but chose to finish his cupcake than make a snide remark over the matter. "And just what are you recording, Misa-san?" he asked when he was done, still licking frosting off his fingers. 

"Well, I wasn't given any music because my manager just wanted to know if I could sing first," she sheepishly admitted. "So, Misa is just recording a few songs Misa's mother used to sing her. They always made Misa feel better," she added, softly. 

When Ryuuzaki didn't answer right away, Misa looked up to notice that he was staring acutely, nibbling on his thumb as she assumed his brain was going at a rapid fire pace. She felt her face burn at the attention. 

"Hey, would Ryuuzaki-san like to hear?" she nervously asked, hitting the 'Play' button before he could respond. 

The tape player whirled white noise for a few seconds, before the speakers crackling heralded the start of a piano playing. The notes were slow, drawn out and sad. The age of the radio caused the music to echo hauntingly, as Misa's soprano voice suddenly found its way into the song. The pleasant lyrics and sweet singing seemed to contradict the melancholy score, but it all came together smoothly, creating a soft, lilting tune. 

When the last note played, Misa turned off the tape, but kept her eyes focused on the floor. "So, what did Ryuuzaki-san think?" she questioned, a hitch in her voice. 

"Beautiful." 

Her head shot up, brows raised in surprise. "Really?" 

Ryuuzaki nodded almost imperceptibly, forefinger caught between his teeth. "You have a very nice voice," he said, sounding almost like he had a revelation. "Though, I am a bit surprised about the choice in music. It seems very... " she could tell he was searching for a word that wouldn't offend her, "_traditional_ for you, Misa-san." 

"Misa's mother sang it all the time," she reminded him, pouting slightly. "And Misa likes 'Sakura, Sakura.' It's very pretty to me." 

He tilted his head. "I see." 

"Mom sang lullabies whenever Misa or Mamori had nightmares," she confessed, smiling at the memory. "And they always made the bad dreams go away. She said it was because the songs were magical. Which is silly, really!" Misa laughed, then sighed wistfully. "But I believed it when I was little."  
She leaned back, placing her hands behind her for support. "Did Ryuuzaki-san ever get sung to sleep when he was a kid?" 

There it was again. The ghost of _something_ passing across the young man's face for barely a moment, before it disappeared for good. "... I can't say that I did." 

Misa abruptly lurched forward, leaning over the cassette player, frowning. "Ryuuzaki-san never got sung to? Not a single time?" 

"I'm afraid not," he shrugged, not seeming to understand her outrage. 

She placed her elbow on the radio, propping her chin in her hand. "Misa can't imagine never having a lullaby sung to her. That's so sad, Ryuuzaki-san!" 

"You think so?" he cocked his head, using his index finger to pull on his bottom lip. "I can't say I feel the same, since I've never experienced anything similar for comparison's sake." 

Misa blinked. Well, what could ever be considered 'similar' to having your mother sing to you? She didn't think there was an answer to that question. She then remembered what Ryuuzaki had said about his family, and noted with a flinch that it was doubtful that his father would do anything along the lines of singing away nightmares. 

Still, the idea nagged her, and Misa found herself asking, "No one's ever tried to cheer Ryuuzaki-san up?" 

Ryuuzaki looked taken aback. "I didn't say that, Misa-san. I was just never sung to. And you can't miss something you never had." 

Misa didn't seem completely convinced of this. Maybe it was because she found the memory so comforting, that the mere thought of someone else not having that emotional keepsake was puzzling, almost disheartening. "So, Ryuuzaki-san wouldn't want Misa to sing to him? Even if it would make him feel better?" 

"Misa-san?" he stared, at a loss for an answer. 

Which as all right by Misa, since she decided not to wait for one. Instead, she closed her eyes and began to sing. _"Sakura, sakura... "_

And as she sang the same words that used to make her feel so safe when she was young, Misa came to a realization. She wanted to protect Ryuuzaki. She wanted to make him happy when he was sad, and keep him that way. But not in the way her mother had cared for her. Misa found her desire ran deeper than that, carving roads in her heart that she was willing to let only one person walk down. 

She wanted to find whatever dark thing it was that lurked underneath Ryuuzaki's surface, and make it disappear forever. She wanted him to see her as something more than just an interesting diversion. Someone that he could rely on, and find support from. She wanted to comfort him, and laugh with him, and simply be with him. She wanted to be with him always. 

And she would do anything to make the possible. Even if it meant laying herself on the line for him. Even if it meant killing for him. 

Anything for Ryuuzaki's happiness. 

When the last delicate note passed through the air, Misa opened her eyes to find Ryuuzaki still staring at her. Instead of appearing confused, however, he looked to be more in awe. His thumb lay between his teeth, but he seemed too fixated on her to assume his usual chewing habit. 

Blushing a bit, Misa managed a smile. "Misa will always sing for Ryuuzaki-san. Well, Misa will be singing for everyone soon," she amended, coyly. "But, Misa will always sing special for Ryuuzaki-san. Okay?" 

Slowly, he removed his thumb from his mouth, his hand going down to mirror its partner scratching his knees. His face shifted back to its normal, blank expression. Without a word, he stood up and made his way to the door. 

She watched him, confused. Had she said something wrong? "Hey, Ryuuzaki-san?" Misa got to her feet and followed him over. "You're leaving?" 

"Yes," he answered simply, slipping his beaten shoes on. "I should be getting back to work." 

Misa frowned. "You're always leaving for work." 

"It's imp- " 

"It's important," she interrupted, frown deepening, unable to stop the knot of jealousy slowing tightening in her chest. "Ryuuzaki-san says that all the time! If work is so important, why do you bother visiting Misa, anyway?" 

Ryuuzaki gave her a quick glance before gazing at the ceiling, a finger tapping at his lips. After a long moment, he said, "I really don't know why. I just find myself wanting to. I suppose that's why I keep coming back." He finally turned his attention back to her. "Misa-san is a puzzle I want to solve." 

She blinked owlishly, unsure as to how she should take such a statement. As many layers to Ryuuzaki as she thought she'd gotten glimpses at, there were dozens of others she was entirely unaware of. When they surfaced for the scantest of moments, they usually left her confused and wondering if she'd ever truly understand him. 

"Goodbye, Misa-san." Without waiting for her to respond, Ryuuzaki opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. 

She watched the door slowly close, and the envious little knot that had formed in her quickly changed to anxiousness, and tightened considerably. Suddenly, she couldn't just let him go like that. Her hand shot out, stopping the door midway. "Wait, Ryuuzaki-san!" 

Misa swung open the door, and quickly closed the gap between them. Somewhere in the back of Misa's mind, a little voice giggled in amusement at the look of surprised discomfort that passed over Ryuuzaki's face at the sudden invasion of his personal space. But she ignored that for the moment, and instead focused on the impulse that had taken over her movements. Balancing on her tiptoes, Misa reached up and placed a quick kiss on Ryuuzaki's cheek. 

She pulled away, smiling shyly. "For good luck with work!" _Warm._ He was warmer than she'd remembered. 

Spindly fingers danced across where her lips had touched, a bemused expression on Ryuuzaki's face. "...I see." His hand lowered, and shoving both hands into his pockets, he began walking away. "Thank you, Misa-san." 

She wasn't expecting him to say anything more, and he didn't. With a sigh, she closed the door. Misa stood there silently for a few minutes, her forehead pressed against the wood. Without turning around, she finally muttered, "Rem?" 

"Yes, Misa?" came the almost instant response from behind her. 

"Please, tell Misa where Ryuuzaki-san goes." 

"... I already told you I couldn't do that," the shinigami reminded her, guilt in her tone. 

"But why not?" the girl spun around, frustrated. "Why can't you tell me?" 

"I just can't, Misa," Rem said, not looking her partner in the eye. 

"That doesn't make any sense!" 

The shinigami flinched. "I'm sorry." 

Misa glowered. "Rem said that she didn't like Ryuuzaki-san because he never speaks clearly. But Rem is even worse than Ryuuzaki-san, because Rem does the same thing, but she does it knowing that it's hurting Misa." 

"I don't want to hurt you," Rem defended, upset by the very idea. "Just the opposite." 

"But Rem said she wanted Misa to be happy," Misa choked, face crumpling. 

The death god looked up, shocked. "Misa, I- " 

"If you really want me to be happy, you'll tell me," the idol challenged. Hot tears began to form in her eyes, making her vision blurry. "Because Misa finally understands. She finally gets it. Ryuuzaki-san's happiness is Misa's happiness. So, Misa wants to help him all she can. And I can only do that with _your_ help." She clasped her hands in front of her, tears finally spilling over. "Please, Rem!" 

Rem stared at the desperate girl before her, gaunt face looking as conflicted as it could with its limited expressions. Finally, the shinigami's gaze flickered away. But not quick enough for Misa to miss the guilt there. Misa's heart sank. 

"I'm so sorry, Misa," Rem began solemnly, spreading her bat-like wings. "I just can't. Please, stop asking me. Especially now. Please, just stop." With that, the shinigami took off, flying through the ceiling as if it were nothing more than an illusion. 

Misa gazed up at where Rem had made her exit for a few minutes, sniffling and wiping her eyes. Her throat felt raw, and she was suddenly tired. But that didn't matter to her at the moment. All that mattered to her now was what Rem had accidentally let slip. 

"'Especially now,'" Misa repeated, thoughts whirling through her head. "Why is asking my question now even worse than it was before? Rem," she said to the air, "why is now different than the first time Misa asked? Just what did you see that you don't want me to know?" 


	12. Look Over Here

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 1: Look Over Here**

Misa's apartment was eerily silent for a near two week's time. Misa not only refused to speak to Rem, but it seemed as if the shinigami had a similar idea. They avoided each other the best they could given their situation, and for the time being this seemed to suit the two of them just fine.

Misa found herself distracted more often than not at photo shoots, and repeatedly had to apologize to her frustrated photographers. This upset her greater than she wanted to admit. She prided herself on her work ethic, and while the circumstances she was in were rather unusual, Misa didn't like making excuses for herself. Misa-Misa was the perfect idol.

But Amane Misa was far from perfect.

She fidgeted in bed at night, unable to calm her nerves enough to get any decent amount of sleep. She stumbled out of her twisted sheets in the morning, and gazed into a mirror that held the reflection of a tired young woman looking too old for her years. Blonde hair dull and disheveled, and blue circles of exhaustion lining the bottoms of her eyes. Dark marks that reminded her of someone, and that memory would tug at her heart.

If Rem was in the room, Misa would give her a withered, accusing look. _You're horrible!_ it would scream. _Tell me!_

However, Rem would turn away and leave her each time without a word.

To make matters worse, it seemed as if Ryuuzaki had once again slipped into hiding, leaving Misa with no way of knowing just how he was. Times like these made her anxious, and she nearly dropped her cell phone to its untimely demise a few times while quickly grabbing haphazardly for it when it rang.

One night, Misa tried to rationalize Rem's behavior in her mind. After all, Rem had initially appeared to be in agreement with the plan of her following Ryuuzaki back to wherever it was he went to. It was only after she had come back from shadowing him did she suddenly seem loathe to tell Misa anything.

And now more than ever, Rem was determined to keep her mouth closed on the matter. A fact that made a tiny voice in the back of Misa's mind whisper that maybe she should just listen to what the shinigami told her, and let it go. But Misa crushed that notion thoroughly. There was no room for self-doubt and second guesses. She was going to help Ryuuzaki, and serve justice at the same time.

Kira never hesitated, and neither would Misa.

Thinking on her hero, Misa realized that she hadn't touched her scrapbook in a while. Deciding that a distraction would do her mind good, she pulled out the book, and grabbed her saved newspapers and magazines. She got back into the habit of organizing and building her scrapbook every night, pouring over articles that highlighted the person that had become her idol; accounts of the crimes committed by the people he ultimately passed judgment on. Interviews of "experts" who sometimes claimed Kira to be a god, sometimes more than one person, and sometimes even simply a story made to stir up easy publicity for the media.

But Misa knew the truth. There was only one Kira, and he was no figment, nor a god.

Or maybe, Misa amended, he _was_ a god in his own way. Kira took it upon himself to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. To take on the grand responsibility to cleanse the world, knowing full well that he would be marked a sinner in the eyes of the ignorant.

Misa wished that she had half his courage. But what she had would have to do.

However, working on the scrapbook did have one detrimental affect. Every time she read an article, every time her scissors sliced through a magazine, Misa wondered. Wondered if the man she idolized was the man she was targeting, as well. She had contemplated the possibility of Ryuuzaki working on the Kira case before, but each time dismissed it for various reasons. The Kira case had L on it, and Misa thought him too arrogant to want to share the glory. Obviously, that meant that a detective as smart as Ryuuzaki would most likely be looked over. Also, Ryuuzaki was far too clever to have not found Kira by now if he was on the case. Ryuuzaki was a great detective, after all.

Or at least, that's the impression Misa had of him. He never did talk about any of his assignments in any sort of detail. Or even at all. And it was that vagueness that ate at Misa's gut. If he was on the case, what would she do? What _could_ she do? The worrisome questions danced jitteringly at the edges of her thoughts.

Naturally, that kept her up at night, as well. Misa had finally resorted into getting sleeping pills to help, a fact that left her sister openly upset when she found out.

"Misa, what's gotten into you?" Mamori had asked, worry evident even through the phone. "I can't believe you would touch those things!"

"It's not that big a deal," Misa had assured her, instantly regretting that she'd even mentioned it. "Misa will be careful. I'll only take one if I really need it."

"I just don't understand," the elder sister had pressed on. "You always dealt with stress just fine. Now, you sound completely exhausted! Are you sick? Maybe I should visit."

"No, no!" Misa had interjected. "Misa is fine. Really. My schedule has just been a little crazy, that's all." She'd forced as much cheer into her voice as possible. "Misa-Misa is going to be a big star!"

Eventually, Mamori had conceded. And while Misa was relieved to not have to worry about her sister getting involved in anything too complicated, the idol found herself lonely. With neither Ryuuzaki or Rem talking to her, Misa felt almost abandoned. She had no truly close friends in Tokyo, and while she liked some of the other models at the agency she couldn't help but feel a little defensive around them. She saw them as competition, and vice-versa.

One day after coming home from a long photoshoot, Misa had had enough. The silence in the apartment was so thick it almost made her feel like she'd gone deaf. Her frayed nerves gave way to desperation, and she called out, "Rem? Rem, speak to Misa. I'm bored."

There was no answer.

The idol frowned, confused, until she realized what the problem was.

"Misa doesn't want to talk about Ryuuzaki-san," she promised. "Misa just wants to talk. Misa will talk about anything Rem wants to talk about," Misa clapped her hands, trying to gather up some enthusiasm. "How about the shinigami realm? Rem has never talked about her home before. Or why she had two Death Notes. Misa will listen!"

There was no answer.

Misa bit her lip. "Is Rem home? Misa remembers Rem saying that she always had to be with Misa, but Rem leaves all the time. How far can Rem go? Is that... Is that why Rem doesn't want to tell Misa where Ryuuzaki-san went? Because Rem actually couldn't follow him that far? If that's true, Misa isn't mad, honest!"  
She took a breath, and shook her head. "Misa is sorry. She said she wouldn't talk about Ryuuzaki-san, didn't she? It's just that without Rem here to say something, Misa can't help but think of Ryuuzaki-san."

There was no answer.

Misa stormed over to the couch and practically fell onto it, the chains on her belt jingling with the violent motion. "It's really unfair! Misa is always looked at by photographers and fans. People love Misa-Misa. And Misa... likes their attention. But they like Misa-Misa. They want to talk to her, not to me. Did Rem know that there's a difference? Rem talks to _me._ Ryuuzaki-san talks to _me._ Now that they're not paying attention, I... I feel lonely.  
"I want to know why Ryuuzaki-san hasn't called yet," she admitted, forgetting her earlier promise. "I don't like it when he just disappears. If Rem disappears, Misa knows that Rem is okay because no one can hurt her. But Ryuuzaki-san is just human. And he goes after criminals all the time, like he is now.  
"And Misa knows..." she brought her legs up on the couch, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Misa knows that the good guys don't always win. If they did, Misa's parents wouldn't be dead."

There was no answer.

"Hey, Rem?" Misa whispered, tightening her hold on her legs. "Please, talk to Misa? I don't want to be lonely anymore. And Ryuuzaki-san isn't calling, so Misa doesn't know if he's okay. Maybe he hasn't called because it's too late for Misa to help him anymore," she choked out, the thought sending a chill down her spine. "If that's true, and Rem is still not talking, then Misa really is alone. And I... I don't think I could handle Ryuuzaki-san not being okay," she buried her face between her knees, as if it could somehow block out the disturbing images that flittered across her mind.

There was no answer. Though, Misa could have sworn she heard what sounded like a sigh.

---

On a bright early morning, Misa sat languidly on a pool of black satin and rose petals. Hair and make up immaculate, white lace dress positioned to allow someone a view of just enough leg and breast. She smiled at the camera, the perfect idol.

Usually, morning shoots never bothered her, but Shibasaki always took pictures that made her look fat, and the dress they'd put her in itched in ways she hadn't thought possible. Not to mention that Shibasaki's "vision" of her wearing wings that were a good three feet was a nightmare in of itself. Misa had never imagined that she'd ever wear something tighter than a bustier. The harness for the wings quickly proved her wrong.

She smiled her prettiest all the same.

But when her phone rang, and an assistant said that it was from an unknown caller, Misa practically jumped to grab it out of their hands, feathers and petals flying about in her wake.

She felt her hands shaking when she placed the receiver to her ear. "Hello? This is Misa-Misa!"

"Good morning, Misa-san," a familiar voice greeted her.

Heart in her throat, she began walking away, throwing over her shoulder, "Misa will be back in a few minutes!" She locked herself in the studio's bathroom, sliding to the floor as she cradled the phone close. "Ryuuzaki-san hasn't called in too long!" she scolded, the edge not really there in her voice. "Misa missed you."

"I apologize," he replied, sounding almost surprised. "I've been busy. I must've lost track of time."

Misa doubted that, but decided she was a little too happy to hear his voice to start a fight with him. "That's okay. Misa forgives you. Does this mean that Ryuuzaki-san is going to visit again soon?"

There was a pregnant silence on the other end. "Most likely not," he finally said.

Something in her chest tightened at the words. "But, why not?" she demanded. "Doesn't Ryuuzaki-san want to visit?"

"I'm sorry, Misa-san, but I'm very busy right now," Ryuuzaki explained. "As it is, I really shouldn't be taking the time to call you, at all."

Half of her wanted to throw her phone across the room, while the other half just wanted to be with the man on the other end of the line. "...Ryuuzaki-san's case is really that important?"

"Yes," the answer was flat, leaving no room for further questions on that subject.

"I understand. If that's so, then," she took a deep breath, jutting her chin out, "Misa will be cheering for Ryuuzaki-san to solve the case soon!" She clenched her fist, a fresh wave a determination flowing through her. "When he does so, Misa will make a big cake just for him, and he can eat as much as he wants. As long as you don't get sick," she quickly added.

"Really?" Ryuuzaki asked, only a slight hint of eagerness in his tone.

"Yes," Misa answered, nodding as if he could see her. "Whatever flavor Ryuuzaki-san wants. Misa will make the best cake ever!"

This time the amusement was clear in his voice. "I'll hold you to that promise, Misa-san."

"You better. Misa has to go now, though," she frowned. "I have to finish my photoshoot."

"I didn't realize I was interrupting anything important."

"A photoshoot with Shibasaki-san isn't important," Misa assured him. "It's just torture. With wings."

"...I see." Clearly, he did not.

"Misa will show you what she means when she can."

"I'll take your word on that. Goodbye, Misa-san."

"Goodbye, Ryuuzaki-san." With a small smile, Misa placed a kiss on the receiver. It was hard and cold. Plastic and uninviting. It wasn't the soft warmth of his cheek, but it would do for the moment.

"Misa-san, what was that noise?" he asked, confused.

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Just static. Misa's cell phone doesn't get the best reception here."

"Ah."

"Bye, Ryuuzaki-san," reluctantly, she closed the phone.

She remained on the floor in silence for a few minutes, staring at the phone in her hands as if willing for him to call again. But it wasn't a ringtone that broke the stillness.

"Misa?"

She didn't look up, but one hand grabbed at her skirt and tightened to a fist. "Rem."

"Misa... What does he mean to you?"

That made her raise her eyes. "What?"

The shinigami hovered over her, staring down with an unreadable expression. "What does Ryuuzaki mean to you?"

Misa gave her partner a hard stare, trying to figure out what was going on in the death god's mind. Realizing that it was impossible to determine, Misa turned to the question that was given her. One that she already had the answer to, but wasn't sure if she should share it with Rem.

Looking at the shinigami again, Misa concluded that Rem probably knew the answer already, too. She just wanted to hear it for herself.

Misa cleared her throat, looking Rem in the eye. "Ryuuzaki-san is... Misa's most important person."

"Do you mean that?" Rem asked, her deep voice tight. "Is he more important than anyone else?"

"Hm? Isn't Rem listening?" Misa frowned, not understanding. "I meant what I said."

"Are you sure, Misa?" The death god leaned down so she was almost at Misa's level, her one eye boring into the girl. "Are you absolutely sure that he means that much? More than anyone else?"

Misa glowered, annoyed at the repetition. "Why do you keep asking that? Yes, yes! Ryuuzaki-san is definitely the most important person to Misa. Misa would do anything for him."

Rem stared at her quietly for a long while, before straightening up as much as she could. "I did follow him that night." The confession dropped like a stone.

"I know that," Misa said, but she was suddenly uncomfortable over it.

"He went to a tall building in the heart of Tokyo. It would be easy enough to find again."

"Really?" Misa asked, hopeful. Maybe there was nothing to be worried about, after all. "Rem can show Misa how to get there?"

"Yes, but I'll doubt you'd get in. The security there is tight. And besides," Rem natural frown deepened, "there's something you should know."

The apprehension came back full force, causing Misa's heart to race even faster. "About what?"

"There were other people there, Misa. And they were talking." Rem watched her, as if expecting an interruption. Instead, Misa just stared back, her tiny hands clasped together tightly. The death god realized she had the girl's complete attention, and for a moment, thought that maybe she shouldn't continue. That this was a mistake. But if she remained silent, Misa would still hate her, and Rem couldn't bare that anymore.

"Misa, they were talking about Kira."

Misa made what sounded like a strangled gasp, and then shook her head feverishly. "Rem is probably confused. Lots of police are talking about Kira now. That doesn't mean-"

"Misa," Rem stopped her, voice firm. "Ryuuzaki was talking about Kira, too. He is trying to find him."

The girl continued to shake her head. "That can't be."

"I'm sorry," said the shinigami, and she meant it. "But, you said that Ryuuzaki is what's most important to you. Was that a lie?"

"What? No, but I... " Misa's voice trailed. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and a headache was forming at her temples.

"I can help you find Kira, Misa," Rem offered. "I know who gave him his Death Note. It might take a while, but together we can figure out a way."

"And then what?" Misa weakly asked, barely hearing Rem over the drumming in her head.

"Then?" Rem seemed surprised. "Then, you'll kill him. That is what you wanted, right?"

Misa almost laughed bitterly at that, but found it was difficult to even breathe, let alone laugh. "Misa can't kill Kira," she snapped, sickened by the idea. "Kira is Misa's hero!"

Rem tilted her head, frowning. "I shouldn't have told you. Even though I knew you'd hate me, I shouldn't have."

The girl shook her head again, manicured hands running through her meticulously styled hair. "No. It's okay," Misa promised her, eyes tightly shut. "Rem is a good friend. I wanted to know, right? And now I do. Now Misa knows everything."

The shinigami flinched a little at the words, but it went unnoticed. "So then, Misa," Rem leaned down, "what do _you_ want to do?"

Taking a deep breath, Misa rested her back against the wall, eyes still closed. What to do now?

"You could always forget about this," Rem offered. "Pretend I never said anything... Or even hand back the Death Note. It'll be like none of this ever happened.  
"Or, I could handle Kira for you. You wouldn't have to do anything. I'll do that for you, Misa, if you want." There was a softness to her words and tone. "I'll do anything for you."

"Anything?" Misa repeated.

Rem blinked, surprised. "Yes, of course."

Slowly, Misa opened her eyes, her face a mask of determination. "Rem, I want to make the trade."


	13. Violence

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

I apologize for this particular chapter being "late." I've mulled over how it was to be done for quite some time, and this is what I was satisfied with. I'll do my best to be a little quicker for the next chapter, but considering the theme for this one the extra time spent on it was necessary.

****

Rewrite

Theme 21: Violence

The first week Misa had the eyes was an adjustment period. Rem had told her that the shinigami eye trade was painless and quick. What she hadn't explained was that once it was done, seeing the world through new vision was a dizzying experience.

When the trade was initially made Misa had walked out of the studio's bathroom, only to be confronted by the crew waiting for her. Names and numbers were everywhere, clouding her sight to the point where she thought she would get a headache. They jumbled and flashed, making it difficult to focus. Misa panicked. If it was this overwhelming with only twenty people around, what would happen if she was surrounded by a crowd of fans? Or simply wanted to go shopping?

Upset, she had placed her hands over her face in a desperate attempt to make it stop, and had refused to look when Shibasaki had asked her what was wrong. It was only when Rem whispered in her ear that she was making a scene that Misa composed herself.

The way home had been an adventure in of itself. She had taken the train to the studio, and while the trip there had been uneventful, the trip back home was another story. Misa found herself watching her feet the entire time, attempting to block out the onslaught of names. She had practically stumbled out of the train, and when she got back to her apartment she frantically ran to her door before anyone popped their heads out of their apartments to say hello to her like a few usually did.

Once inside, Misa was horrified to find out that even a photograph caused the power to act up. For the rest of the night, she avoided any magazines and newspapers that were lying about, even though she had wanted to archive more into her Kira scrapbook. Watching television had also been completely out of consideration.

The next day, however, Misa screwed up her courage and began to experiment. Nothing would be accomplished if she kept her head in the ground, almost to the literal extent. First, it was to go through the day's newspaper, making sure not to skip a single picture. After browsing the ad section, Misa had made a mental note that only the names and lifespans of people were viewable with the shinigami eyes; any pictures of animals she had seen had remained blank to her. Then after a few hours --at Rem's coaxing-- she turned on the television, selecting one station in particular. Sakura TV didn't have the most quality of shows, but their trash news was interesting, at least. Also, it was one of the few stations that actually aired stories about Kira in a positive light.

And honestly, Misa rather enjoyed some of the sillier programs they had. The game shows in particular. She had even managed to convince Ryuuzaki to watch one with her once. And while he had been openly reluctant, and appeared generally uninterested throughout it, Misa had noticed him lean forward in curiosity at some of the crazier stunts the contestants willingly performed.

Misa kept up this routine for the rest of the week. And while she still found it rather unnerving, by the end of it she was able to look into a crowd with barely a flinch. Seeing the words and numbers in front of her eyes no longer scared her.

In fact, she had initially felt curiosity when it came to what the numbers for people's lifespans meant. To her it was nothing but a jumble. To Rem, it was how she kept alive. Misa had wanted to figure it out; just what was the numeric puzzle that formed the beginning and ending of a human life? But that quest quickly ended the moment she noticed a couple walking with a child in between them. A child with a significantly smaller number than either of his parents.

"The smaller the number, the longer the life?" Misa had whispered to Rem, in a tiny, hopeful voice.

"Depends on when you see the person," was Rem's cryptic answer. "And for that child... No."

Misa's heart froze, and so did any desire to understand the numbers she saw everyday.

The second week, Misa did nothing but observe people, going about her daily routine as if nothing was out of the ordinary. She even began to stop mentioning the eyes all together, even with Rem hovering over her. The shinigami was left baffled as to her partner's behavior. It had seemed at the beginning that Misa had formed some sort of plan. The girl could be rather clever when she set her mind to it.

Now, however, it appeared like the trade had been done on a whim, and this worried Rem. Why would Misa make such a reckless decision, if she wasn't going to do anything with it? It made no sense to the death god, at all.

Until one Sunday, Misa packed a duffle bag and declared, "Misa is going home!"

Rem tilted her head, confused. "Aren't you already home?"

Misa shook her head. "No, no. I'm going to visit an old friend in Kansai. Misa hasn't seen Eri-chan in a long time. And..." the girl's look darkened, "Misa has a favor to ask."

---

Eri, it turned out, was an overly tanned girl, with her spiky hair dyed a bright orange and her lips painted a pasty white. 'Ganguro' was all Misa had to say about it to Rem, though the shinigami had a few other words for it. 'Strange' and 'hideous' being on the top of the list.

Still, the girl seemed pleasant enough, and more than happy to see Misa. She had practically strangled her to death in a hug, before tugging her away to her car and zooming off. Eri chattered endlessly in between loud gum snapping about things that Rem doubted she'd understand even if Misa explained them to her, but her partner seemed interested in what was being said. Either that, or Misa was an even better actress than Rem believed.

"Hey, Misa?" Eri flicked on the light to her apartment with a perfectly manicured pink fingernail. "Your sister called a few weeks ago. She sounded worried."

"Mamori's been calling?" Misa bit her lip.

"Well, only once," the redhead assured her, but her bubbly face had become serious. "But she was even more uptight than usual. She was acting like you were falling apart," Eri took a moment to blow a large bubble, before inhaling it, much to Rem's distaste. The girl then resumed chewing it. "Maybe you'd like to call her up? Let her know that you're visiting?"

"No!" Misa waved her hands frantically. "Misa is fine! Mamori is overreacting. It's just my schedule is becoming fuller because I'm getting more popular. Misa is entitled to being tired every so often."

"That's true," Eri relented, then shrugged. "It's just hard to tell with your sister. She's always so overprotective of you." She smiled wryly, bringing her hands up and wiggling her fingers. "I'm surprised she hasn't bugged your apartment to listen to if you sneeze or anything."

Misa giggled tightly, not able to completely find the humor. After all, anyone bugging her apartment would hear a lot more than the occasional bout of allergies. "Eri should not give Mamori ideas!"

"Speaking of ideas..." Eri's smile turned almost predatory. "What's this I hear about a 'secret boyfriend?'"

Misa's smile disappeared. "Mamori speaks too much," she said, flatly.

"Ah!" The tanned girl whirled upon her friend, dragging her over to the couch, and curling up next to her with an eager expression. "So?"

Misa played dumb. "So what?"

Eri was decidedly not buying it. "So... Boyfriend. Tall, short, skinny, muscular, black hair, dyed hair, actor, singer, idol, brother and or best friend available, as well?"

Misa blinked, deciding that silence was her best option.

"Come on!" Eri gave her a small push on her shoulder. "Can't I get something? He's not a bum, is he? Because Mamori thinks he is, and that's why you're all strung out."

"No," Misa's indignation caused her to answer before she thought better of it. "And Misa is not 'strung out,'" she added, pouting.

"Well, that's something, I suppose," Eri leaned back, reaching up and stringing her gum out of her mouth to twirl it around her finger, before removing it completely, apparently content that it had lost its flavor. She reached over and ripped off a piece of a magazine to wad it up, and Misa nearly flinched when Rem grunted with disgust. Eri continued. "Okay, so he's got some sort of a job. Good kisser?"

The blonde blushed, not sure if she should answer or not. "...Misa doesn't know," she managed to squeak, uncomfortably.

Eri's mouth hung open for a moment. "You don't know? How can you not know?"

"Eri asks stupid questions!" Misa frowned. "I don't know because I haven't kissed him. Misa can't just _guess._"

"Oh, that's just ridiculous," the redhead crossed her arms, almost appearing offended. "You had all the boys in school willing to give up their right arm just to have you look their way, and you're telling me you haven't even kissed your new boyfriend?"

"He isn't Misa's boyfriend!" Misa raised her hands up. "He is Misa's friend who is a boy. That's it."

Through the entire conversation, Rem stayed silent in the background. She didn't really approve of Eri and her foul behavior, and she certainly didn't like the girl bringing up this particular topic when she hadn't even met Ryuuzaki. Especially since Rem still could barely stand the detective, even more so considering Misa's new circumstances. However, this human banter was different. Interesting, even. Shinigami had no romantic inclinations. At least, not usually. To be privy to a conversation like this was intriguing to Rem.

She wondered for a moment if what she felt for Misa was what humans considered love. Or maybe it was just affection. She wasn't sure. She'd never felt anything like it for comparison's sake. But whatever it was, it made her hate Ryuuzaki intensely. That feeling Rem was sure on.

"I bet you could still kiss him," Eri muttered.

"He pays more attention to cakes than Misa!" Misa declared, frustration over the truth of her statement bubbling up in her tone.

Eri raised a pencil thin brow to that, mulling it over. She reached into her pocket, pulling out another stick of gum, before unwrapping it and popping it into her mouth to chew loudly. Finally, she dryly asked, "Ever answer the door with only cake frosting as a shirt?"

Rem wondered briefly if Misa would mind it too much if Eri were to die suddenly. Preferably by choking on gum.

Misa gasped, hands flying up to her burning cheeks. "Eri-chan!"

"But it's brilliant," Eri defended, nodding adamantly. "Just be all cutesy. Tell him it was a baking accident, then ask him," the girl's voice raised an octave, mimicking Misa the best she could, "'Do you want to help me clean it off?' If that doesn't work, there's something wrong with him."

"Eri-chan, stop!" Misa shook her head, laughing until her already pink face was beet red. It was moments like these that made Misa miss her friend. Eri's general lifestyle was a bit on the crude side, but she never failed to make her laugh.

Eri cocked her head to the side, satisfaction written across her painted face. "Now, that's better."

Misa blnked away tears of laughter. "Hm?"

"I haven't seen a real smile from you since you got here," the redhead commented. "Just all those fake ones I see in magazines. I was beginning to think Mamori was right."

Misa's laughter quickly faded, but a small grin remained. "Misa has just- "

"Been busy, yeah," Eri finished for her. She cracked her gum obnoxiously and shrugged. "So you say."

Misa thinned her lips a moment, before twirling a pigtail. "Hey, Eri-chan? You want to see what Misa made recently?"

"What is it?" Eri asked, watching her friend reach down to unzip her duffle bag.

"This," Misa pulled out a vhs tape. "Misa made a tape she thinks Eri-chan would like to see."

---

The video was of terrible quality. A fuzzy view of a dark house with even blurrier lights floating around. Fake ghost footage that Misa herself had shot using techniques that Eri had taught her back when they were bored teenagers skipping school.

The camera had obviously had its filters altered to make it look like there was interference. The ghosts were nothing more than cleverly aimed flashlights. It was ridiculous, cheesy, and totally unbelievable.

In short, Eri had loved it.

Misa had suggested that they make copies to send to television stations, and Eri had practically leapt upon the idea. Using her own equipment, Eri quickly made up ten tapes, with envelopes to accompany them. Misa promised that she would send them herself when she got home, since her connections allowed her better access to various tv stations' addresses.

However, when Misa arrived back at her apartment, the first thing she did was put on gloves, pull out a tape, and place it into her video camera. Rem asked her what she was doing, but Misa's only answer was a finger to her lips and a stern look. So, Rem watched on in silence as Misa worked through the night into the early hours of morning.

And when she was all finished, Rem wondered just how she had never before noticed the wicked streak that laid dormant in her partner.

---

Killing people, Misa found, was rather easy to do when one didn't have to witness it happening. A few strokes of a pen; ink marking paper like a knife would skin. In under a minute, she had killed two people. Sent two criminal brothers to their deaths, and she hadn't even been in the same room. It had been so simple, that she almost believed that she hadn't done anything. Until the newspaper the next day told her otherwise.

She had rented an empty office in the building across the street from Sakura TV a few weeks before sending them the tapes. With a television as its only furnishing, Misa waited for her watch to count down to her appointed time.

While waiting, Misa began to wonder if she could really go through with what her plan called for. Killing a few criminals was one thing, but to get her point across tonight she would have to go beyond that. Kill people that weren't necessarily evil in the eyes of justice.

She shook her head to rid herself of doubts. These people were evil in the eyes of Kira. They slandered and defamed him. Called him a monster, and distorted his vision. Their punishment would be deserved. And their deaths wouldn't be in vain. It was all part of the greater plan.

And when the tape finally began to play, Misa found her apprehension was gradually replaced with a strange numbness that spread throughout her body. Writing Hibima's name down barely made her twitch, and killing the second commentator didn't even make her bat an eyelash. They weren't even on the screen, but from the Sakura TV reporter's startled remarks, they both died right when she had wanted them to.

The Death Note made killing so very neat. So very clean. It was almost comforting.

As she listened to her own garbled voice explain how "Kira" wished to work with the police, Misa noticed movement in front of the station. Walking to the tinted window, she spotted a man outside the doors of the building, pounding on the glass.

It was ironic, she thought. She really didn't want to kill a policeman. She believed them to be good, if only misguided. However, this man would give her the proof she needed for when she met with the real Kira. He had to be a sacrifice.

But when Misa's hand placed her pen down to her Death Note, she hesitated. This man was right in front of her. She would watch him die. She couldn't pretend that it wasn't her doing it. She had to admit to herself that she really had gone this far, and that there was no turning back.

No turning back at all.

Misa bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. Her stomach was suddenly twisting to the point where she swayed a bit on her feet, nausea almost overwhelming her. Misa steadied herself, leaning against the window's frame. Tears welled up, and she took a deep, sniffling breath.

"Misa is sorry," she whispered.

And her pen began to move.

Ukita Hirokazu.


	14. Dash

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me. 

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 9: Dash **

To her surprise, Misa found herself feeling numb over what had transpired on Sakura TV. It wasn't that she was unaware of what she'd done; she knew it had been her responsibility from beginning to end. It was almost as if there was some secret barrier in her mind that determined that she could handle only so much at once, and forcibly cut off any emotional connections she might've had toward the incident.

And honestly, Misa was glad for it.

She had no time to regret or think too hard on what was past. She had put her plan in motion, and now was the time to follow through. At the very least, the only thing she could do at the moment was wait and see what the police's response would be.

She doubted that they'd agree to her demands. In fact, she had almost bet against it once she'd seen the truck go hurtling through the front doors of Sakura TV. She didn't want to admit it out loud, but Misa had been impressed with the courage of whoever it was driving the vehicle. So much so that she might have even let him live even if she had seen his face. Maybe. However, she never got that chance, thanks to the police barricade.

And sure enough, after the four day time limit, the police had released her tape of them rejecting the offer to work with "Kira," with the ultimatum being the NPA director-general or L's life in exchange for their refusal. Well, that was fine with her. She hadn't wanted them to agree to her demands, which is why she'd made them so ridiculous in the first place.

The goal, after all, wasn't for Kira and the police to work together. It was for her to meet Kira, and to kill L for him.

Misa had left Rem mostly out of the loop of this plan, much to the shinigami's chagrin. However, that all changed the day before L was supposed to appear on television for her to do away with him.

Misa turned on the news just in time to watch the message air, all sparkling letters and distorted voice. Far more impressive than hers had been.

"I am Kira. I am the true Kira..."

"Yay!" Misa clapped her hands eagerly, thrilled at the unexpected event. This changed things, but made them easier at the same time.

"...However, killing and threatening the lives of innocent police officers goes against my will..."

And that was really all Misa needed to hear. She was already rummaging around for her video camera.

"What are you going to do?" Rem asked, hovering over her with a confused expression.

Misa rolled her eyes. "Obviously, I'm going to send Kira a reply!"

Rem frowned. "Are you sure that's a good idea? How do you even know it's really Kira?"

"He replied to Misa, didn't he?" the girl asked, once she pulled out her camera.

"So? You made the original tape, and you're not Kira," Rem challenged.

Misa opened her mouth to respond, before slowly closing it and pouting. The death god did have a point.

"This could just be a trap by the police to save the NPA director-general and L," Rem said.

Taking a deep breath, Misa shook her head. "I'll take that chance. It really might be Kira, and I wouldn't want to upset him. Besides," she added, "even if it isn't Kira, it gives Misa a better chance to meet Kira before she kills L. Which will make things a lot easier."

"I just don't understand, Misa," the shinigami admitted. "If Ryuuzaki is on the taskforce, why kill L? Why not Kira?"

"Misa already told Rem that Kira is Misa's hero!" the idol snapped, offended. "I couldn't possibly kill him. Anyway, Misa's plan is very good.  
"I was originally going to have L appear on TV and get his name then, and wait. Eventually, Kira would have to find Misa in order to get L's name. Just having his face on TV wouldn't be enough, because L is obviously a fake name, and Kira doesn't have the shinigami eyes like Misa does."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes. Misa has noticed the trend in her scrapbook. Any criminal Kira ever killed had both his name and face on television or the newspaper before they were killed. If Kira had the eyes he wouldn't have had to wait." Misa grinned. "I knew my scrapbook would be useful. Misa can be very smart sometimes, even when she's not trying!  
"And, since Kira is very smart, too, he's probably already figured out that the fake Kira does has the eyes. So, he'll know that I have L's real name, and will go looking for me when L's death is not immediately announced. He wants L dead even more than Misa, so he'll definitely go searching for me. Like a prince looking for his princess!" she giggled, delighted.

"But, why kill L?" Rem repeated, still not following.

"Because, Misa can't kill Kira," Misa explained. "And Kira might kill Ryuuzaki-san as long as L is alive. So, when Misa meets Kira she'll make a deal."

"A deal?"

"Yes. I'll offer to be Kira's eyes. I'll kill L for Kira in exchange for being his eyes whenever he wants me to. That way, Kira can have the shinigami eyes without having to make the trade himself."

"But," Rem frowned, "how will that save Ryuuzaki?"

"Think about it," Misa waved a hand. "With L dead, the NPA will definitely disband the taskforce. L is the world's greatest detective! If Kira manages to kill L, the NPA wouldn't dare continue to go after him. Especially after 'Kira' threatened the director-general's life. So, Ryuuzaki-san will be off the case then. And since he's a good detective himself, he'll probably be given another case right away.  
"Kira won't ever see who's on the taskforce, so he won't bother asking Misa to kill them, too. Ryuuzaki-san will be perfectly safe."

"I see." Rem looked far from convinced.

"It's just what I want. L will be dead, I'll help Kira whenever he needs me, and I'll be able to be with Ryuuzaki-san, too. Happy ending for Misa!" she grinned and flashed a victory sign at her partner.

"Misa, what if... " the death god looked away, hesitant. "What if Kira decides to kill you after you kill L?"

Misa looked taken aback. "He wouldn't do that! Kira is very kind to people who believe in him, Misa is sure."

"But, what if he does?" Rem insisted. "He's survived this long by making sure no one knows who he is. If you meet him, that security is gone. You'll be just as much of a threat to him as L is now."

"That's not true!" Misa fumed. "I would never do anything to hurt Kira. He's my precious hero. I'm doing this not just to save Ryuuzaki-san, but to protect Kira, too. Misa wants to save them both."

"Impossible."

The girl glared at the monster in front of her with anger and shock rushing through her. She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, but found herself unable to say anything.

"Misa," Rem began, the kindness usually in her deep voice gone, "if you keep this up, one of them is bound to die."

"Rem doesn't know anything!" Misa cried, pushing herself off her bed, and storming away from the shinigami. "Rem is just saying this because she wants Ryuuzaki-san dead anyway, because she hates him!"

"You're right that I hate him," Rem agreed. "I hate him because you care enough to sacrifice half of your remaining life for him. I don't see how he can be worth it. But, I care for you more than I hate him, Misa. Enough to know that if Kira does make an attempt on your life, I'll kill him myself."

Misa spun around. "Rem!"

"I won't do it before he makes his move," Rem assured her. "If you meet him, let him touch your Death Note. Let him see me. I'll give him the warning then. I find him to be a bit of a coward with all his hiding. My threat should be enough to keep you alive and safe. I most likely will not have to kill him."

"So, Rem will just bluff?" Misa asked, her anger dissolving.

"No. I'll definitely kill him if he takes your life," stated Rem. "However, I doubt he'll have the courage to consider it after I warn him of the consequences."

Misa didn't think Kira was as weak as her partner believed, but she decided not to argue the point. "But see, Rem? That makes everything okay. Kira, Ryuuzaki-san, and Misa will all be safe."

"...I wish you would reconsider this, Misa," said Rem. "Just think about it."

"What are you talking about? Misa has thought about this a thousand times! Misa's plan is perfect, you'll see," the girl smiled. And with that, Misa set up her camera, preparing to re-dub a tape in response to Kira.

The shinigami's silence, as well as her sad look went unnoticed by her partner.

---

When Misa's second tape wasn't responded to, she began to worry. She thought for sure that Kira would figure out a way to contact her. Maybe he thought that another taped message would be too dangerous, or maybe Rem had been right, and the first recording hadn't been the real Kira, at all. Either or, Misa decided to take matters in her own hands. After all, the police had no real leads against her, so another tape wasn't much of a threat to her safety.

But another tape wouldn't be any good in the end. Anything she put in it to help Kira meet her would certainly be caught by the investigation team. So, Misa decided she'd have to try a different tactic.

The idea of adding in a piece of a diary had been easy. She'd actually had one when she was younger, and she still kept a day planner to keep track of all her interviews and photo shoots. The only difficult part was to think of things to write in that would throw the police off.

Maybe placing the word 'shinigami' in it was a little too obvious, but that really didn't matter. As long as 'notebook' didn't catch their eye, she didn't care what the police thought of her intelligence. They didn't know the context, so Misa would easily outsmart them while they underestimated her. And the Note Blue in Aoyama was the perfect location. Dark and busy, it would be easy to find Kira without anyone noticing her in the crowd.

All the while, Rem would ask Misa to stop her plan, and let it go. To let the Kira investigation just go forth. But that didn't suit Misa. If she did that, either Kira or Ryuuzaki would surely die, and she couldn't bare the thought. Why Rem didn't want her to be happy was something Misa couldn't understand.

Obviously, going to Aoyama as Misa-Misa was a bad idea. Even if she wasn't a celebrity, Misa knew it would be a mistake to walk out in the open in a place where the police might be looking for Second Kira. And she had to make the assumption that they might be. Ryuuzaki was on their team, so he probably figured out that they should go to any place that was mentioned on the specified days.

She wondered briefly if the taskforce itself were to go to the cities she had written in the diary, if Ryuuzaki would be one of them. That would be a disaster, since Misa wasn't too sure Ryuuzaki wouldn't be able to recognize her even with a disguise. However, Misa doubted he'd go since he didn't seem to like being in public much, and he stood out horribly. He'd probably talk his way out of going, if the rest of his teammates didn't outright insist that someone as odd looking as Ryuuzaki would blow their cover.

Deciding that Ryuuzaki would most likely not be there, Misa went about acquiring her disguise. Getting a school uniform from a thrift shop was easy enough, and buying the wig even easier.

The hard thing, Misa found, was getting up in time for her train.

She had been positive that she'd turned her alarm clock on the night before, but when she had woken up groggily, the digital red text alerted her that it was already a quarter past ten. Squealing at the top of her lungs, Misa rushed past a surprised Rem and practically threw herself into the shower.

She completely failed to spot the look of satisfaction on Rem's face.

With loud grunts, and whispered curses --because idols should never really curse, no matter how upset they are-- Misa scrambled to get her clothing on, and put her thick hair underneath her short wig. The bobby pins felt like they were trying to dig into her skull, but at least it looked natural, and that was good enough.

Misa ran out of her apartment, hailing a cab the best she could. Much to her dismay, her new mousy appearance did wonders to make her blend in, but also made her invisible to taxi drivers who would normally stop for her when she had her short skirts and blonde hair out.

When she finally did get a cab, Misa forced herself to relax. She'd arrive in Aoyama much later than she'd hoped; the train ride from her apartment to her destination was about six hours long, including transfers. However, there would still be daylight and hopefully enough time to find Kira, even if it was only a couple hours. Certainly, if he was there he'd spend as much time as he could until nightfall. This was the best chance either of them had to meet each other. He wouldn't risk the opportunity.

Getting to the station, Misa glanced at her watch to notice she had only five minutes before her train arrived. It would be a pinch, but she'd make it in time. She hurriedly walked over to get a ticket, only to have her cell phone ring.

Thinking it was her manager telling her about her next shoot, Misa answered it brusquely. "Yoshi, can you call Misa back later? She's busy."

"...Misa-san?"

It seemed to Misa as if her heart stopped the same time as her legs did. "Ryuuzaki-san?"

"Did I call at a bad time? I'll hang up if-"

"No, no!" Misa frantically waved her free hand in front of the receiver, as if he could see it. "Misa always has time to talk to Ryuuzaki-san. Especially when he barely calls her," she stressed the last sentence.

"I apologize, Misa-san," he said, sounding genuinely sorry. "I'm afraid I've been even busier as of late."

She didn't doubt that, considering the circumstances. "Will Ryuuzaki-san not be able to speak to Misa long?"

"Actually, I'm by myself today," Ryuuzaki admitted. "So, I can stay on for however long you want, I suppose."

Well, that proved her theory about him not showing up in Aoyama. "Does that mean you can visit? Oh! Oh, wait," Misa pouted. "Misa won't be at her apartment today."

"Do you have another photo shoot? I got the latest one in 'Eighteen.' Why are you wearing wings?"

"Misa told you that Shibasaki-san took horrible photos! I wish you wouldn't look at them," she said. "Misa looks ugly in them."

"Misa-san never looks ugly."

It was a throwaway sentence for Ryuuzaki; said in the same tone he used whenever he was stating a fact. It was not intended to be a compliment, and she knew it.

And for that reason alone, Misa felt utterly flattered. She blushed and smiled brightly, almost hugging the phone against her cheek.

"Ryuuzaki-san can be very sweet," she told him, face warm.

"Hmm?" He didn't seem to understand exactly what she meant, and Misa's face reddened more because of it.

"So, Ryuuzaki-san thinks Misa is pretty?" she prodded, unable to help herself.

"I think it would be foolish to think otherwise," Ryuuzaki explained, analytically. "You _are_ a model. You'd have be attractive to be in such a business."

Misa huffed. "But you'd say I was pretty even if I wasn't a model, right? Right?" The responding silence made her angry enough to stamp her foot. "Ryuuzaki-san is being mean to Misa again!"

"...Would you want me to say you were pretty, Misa-san?" he finally spoke, and she didn't miss the undertone of amusement in his voice.

"All women like being told they're pretty," she informed him heatedly. "If Ryuuzaki-san was as smart as he thought he was, he'd know that."

"Forgive me, Misa-san," he said. "I guess I just don't know how to act around women. Especially the beautiful ones."

And there it was again, only this time Misa felt like the compliment was deliberate. It still had its desired effect of making her blush for the second time.

"Say... If Ryuuzaki-san is off today, does that mean he might be able to visit Misa tomorrow?" she asked, hopeful.

"No, I'm afraid not," he answered. "I'll have far too much work to do."

Misa realized he was right. The taskforce would most likely meet tomorrow to go over anything that was found in Aoyama. He'd probably be there for most of the day, as they poured through security tapes alone. Aoyama was a rather decent sized neighborhood, and-

"Oh, no!" Realization kicked in, and Misa nearly dropped her phone as she spun around towards the tracks, just in time to see her train leave so she could kiss it goodbye. "I don't believe it! This is the worst!"

"Whoops," Rem said, coming down from the roof of the station.

"'Whoops?'" Misa repeated, hand going over the receiver of her phone, so she could hiss under her breath, "Why didn't you warn me it was leaving?"

The shinigami shrugged. "You seemed to be enjoying your conversation so much, I didn't want to interrupt you."

Misa gave her partner a dark stare, and jutted her jaw out. "Rem could be far more helpful next time!"

"I'll keep that in mind," blithely promised Rem, and Misa didn't really believe it.

"Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki prompted on the other end.

Misa got back on the phone. "I missed my train because of Ryuuzaki-san."

"Me?"

"Yes, you! Misa was so busy talking to you, she didn't notice the train came and went. Now, I have to wait for a whole other hour for another one."

"I didn't mean to make you miss your train, Misa-san," he said. "Should I let you go now?"

"No, you can't," she told him, sitting down on a bench. "Since he made Misa miss her train, Ryuuzaki-san has to stay on the phone until the next train arrives."

"Okay, then. So-"

"_And _Misa gets to pick the topic."

"You do?"

"Yes. As punishment for making me wait."

"...Fine," Ryuuzaki answered, wary. "What do you want to talk about?"

Misa took a deep breath and leaned back. There were a lot of things she wanted to talk to Ryuuzaki about, but almost all of them would have him hang up and never call back again. Besides, if Misa thought about nothing but Kira right now, she'd become even more upset over the missed train.

So, she decided on a topic that wasn't quite as pressing, but still was important for other reasons.

"Why does Ryuuzaki-san think Misa is pretty?"

"...Misa-san, can't we discuss something- ?"

"Misa picks the topic, and that's that! Ryuuzaki-san has to answer."

"I don't see how that's fair."

"It's not supposed to be fair. That's why it's a punishment."

Rem watched on as her partner continued the conversation for over an hour with no actual answer ever given by the detective on the other end. The shinigami had rather hoped that Misa would somehow miss the second train as well, but luck wasn't on her side this time. She could only hope she had stalled the girl enough for Kira to be long gone by the time she arrived. Because she knew all too well what the consequences of their meeting would be, and it would only lead to Misa's heart breaking.

And Rem had decided that if Ryuuzaki's happiness was Misa's, then Misa's happiness was her own. It was just that the shinigami couldn't figure out a way to guarantee the happy ending Misa so desperately wanted. So for now, all Rem could do was try to delay the inevitable disaster.


	15. Red

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

I'd just like to say, for the people out there who've e-mailed or PMed me recently, please forgive the lack of replies. I've been house-sitting for the past two weeks, and it's made my online time rather sparse. You really don't want to know how I managed to write this chapter. As soon as I'm home and on my own computer, I'll reply to everyone, I promise.

****

Rewrite

Theme 19: Red

"Rem," Misa announced the moment they had arrived back from Aoyama, "I'm not speaking to you."

Rem had muttered an apology that sounded more flat than sincere, and that had been the end of it.

Misa's trip to Aoyama had been a failure. By the time she had arrived, it was already getting dark, and the crowd was becoming larger than she had anticipated. With little time left in the day, Misa decided to take the risk of going straight to the Note Blue in hopes that Kira had been smart enough to figure that clue out.

However, that proved to be a mistake. The concert inside had drawn such a large audience that all Misa saw was a blurry swirl of names and numbers, as people danced and moved about. Even if Kira had been inside, Misa realized that unless he was next to her it would be almost impossible to point him out.

She had stayed for a few more hours, until night had completely settled, but had found no luck in her search. Frustrated and angry, Misa had gone home empty handed.

Misa had immediately blamed the entire thing on Rem, an accusation that the shinigami fought only half-heartedly. Rem had seemed a little too pleased at Misa's failure, as far as the girl was concerned, and the death god's lack of compassion over the matter only caused her to become even angrier.

Didn't Rem understand that she was trying to help Ryuuzaki?

This meant that Misa had to change her plan again, and she wasn't sure how she'd go about doing it. Another video or diary? But what could she possibly put in them to clue Kira into the fact that she had missed him without just stating so? Not that admitting she'd been in Aoyama was such a threat to her. Her disguise really did hide her looks, and she was sure that Kira had also masked his true appearance. She couldn't imagine him being so stupid as to go to Aoyama as himself.

Maybe Kira would make the first move this time around. She'd been the one to take the lead thus far. If she didn't do anything at all, it was quite possible that he'd realize that she'd missed him. So, he'd think of something himself. He'd have to, if he ever wanted to meet her. And he'd want to. She was sure of it. After all, he knew she had something he didn't. And the eyes were such powerful tools.

"Misa will wait for Kira now," she said to Rem a week later, when she'd finally forgiven her partner. "Since I haven't contacted him, he has to know that I didn't see him at Aoyama. Misa is sure Kira will come up with a better plan than her to meet. One that won't fail like Misa's did."

"And if he doesn't?" Rem asked, curious.

"He will. After all, I have the eyes," Misa reminded her. "Kira will definitely want them to handle L. He'll think of something, I'm sure of it."

---

Despite Misa's beliefs, Kira made no move to contact her for the two weeks after the incident at Aoyama. To Rem's surprise, Misa handled it fairly well. While it was obvious that the girl was becoming impatient and worried, she held up the facade of being calm with professionalism that complimented her prowess as a would-be actress.

It helped, Rem noted drily, that during that time Ryuuzaki had called twice. It seemed that whenever Misa spoke to the detective, her demeanor brightened considerably.

"Eeeeeh, Ryuuzaki-san," Misa whined into the phone, idly flipping through a magazine. "When are you going to visit Misa again?"

"I'm afraid I don't know, Misa-san," he answered, apologetically. "The case I'm currently on keeps me rather occupied."

She frowned bitterly. "I've decided that I don't really like your boss."

"Oh. Really?" His tone was one of slight amusement.

"Really." Misa recalled the old man she'd spoken to months before when she'd taken Ryuuzaki's phone from him. The man that she eventually had concluded had to be L. "He seems very mean to Misa."

"And what makes you think that, Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki asked, and she heard him take a long sip of what she could only assume was over-sweetened coffee.

Misa positioned herself on her bed so she was lying belly down, and continued to look through the magazine she had. There was supposed to be an advertisement for lipstick with her in it somewhere, but she'd been unable to find it yet. "He works Ryuuzaki-san too hard," she answered. "You used to be able to visit once every week or two. But now Misa hasn't seen you in months. It's like Ryuuzaki-san isn't allowed to have a life anymore!"

"Priorities must be made and adhered to," he explained. "Even if one doesn't like them."

"Well... " Misa pouted, childishly. "Where is Misa in Ryuuzaki-san's priorities?"

"I haven't really thought about it as of late," he honestly admitted.

Misa's response was to screech loudly and incoherently into the receiver. She felt only mild vindication when she heard him hiss in pain.

"Ryuuzaki-san is an awful, awful person!" she declared. "Are you saying I'm not important, at all?"

"Not in the least, Misa-san," Ryuuzaki said, warily. "For right now, however, my one and only priority is the case. Once it's over, I will be able to reassess them. I assure you, you will be one of them."

"Really?" she asked. "Because Misa is important to Ryuuzaki-san?"

Another pregnant silence. "Yes."

His voice held no room for elaboration. The vagueness of it might have bothered her a while back. As of late, however, Misa was so happy to hear from the ever elusive Ryuuzaki, that even the smallest things meant the world to her.

"I still think your boss is a pushy jerk," Misa stated, her voice sounding even more frustrated with her inability to find her cosmetics advertisement. "I think he's trying to get back at us for when I yelled at him."

"Hm? Oh," Ryuuzaki muttered, the temporary confusion in voice dissipating as quickly as it appeared. "You think him so petty?"

"Absolutely!" Misa nodded, adamantly. "He just wants to keep Ryuuzaki-san all to himself. Even though Misa had him first."

"Am I a person or a possession to you, Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki asked, drily.

Misa didn't answer. Instead, she growled out of annoyance. "I can't find it!" she declared, defeated.

"Pardon?"

"Misa is looking for a new ad that she posed for in Cutie," she explained. "It's supposed to be in a lot of magazines this month, and help Misa-Misa become a big star! But I can't find it anywhere," she finished, pouting.

"Page sixty-three."

She blinked, confused. "Hm?"

"Page sixty-three," he simply repeated.

Curious, Misa dutifully flipped to the suggested page. Sure enough, the lipstick ad was there, with Misa in all her made up glory. It was the first time she'd seen the finished product of the photo shoot, and Misa was childishly pleased with it. The editor might have gone a little heavy with the bloom, but it only made her skin seem more like porcelain. Which in turn made her blonde hair shimmer and her ruby red lips glisten, as if one might actually be able to kiss the girl printed on the page.

"Misa looks awesome!" she exclaimed, unable to hold back her excitement.

"Yes, quite."

Blushing, Misa smiled. "I'm glad."

"That your advertisement came out well?" Ryuuzaki questioned.

"No," she shook her head. "That Ryuuzaki-san likes it, too."

"...Ah."

"Misa should be going now," she sighed, reluctantly. "She has another photo shoot tomorrow. This time for Funhouse! So, it's really important that I look my best."

"I see. Then, I'll let you go," he said. "Goodnight, Misa-san."

"Sleep we- ," she stopped herself, frowning. Then amended, "Just _sleep._ Okay, Ryuuzaki-san?"

He grunted, non-committing, before hanging up.

---

Misa was rather disappointed in the photo shoot. She had arrived early, eager to please the photographer and the company in any way she could. Funhouse was a once in a lifetime opportunity for Misa to really shine. Their clothing was just her taste, and her manager had convinced them that no other model could wear it like Misa-Misa. And Amane Misa was not about to prove those words false.

However, the photographer hadn't arrived yet, and when the wardrobe artist from the company had taken one look at Misa, he had decided that his original choices were totally wrong for her and brushed her away, telling her that he needed to rethink his decisions.

Misa felt slightly better when Rem muttered that Misa would've looked good in, "those damned bags," that were holding the accessory kits.

"It's okay, Rem," Misa assured her partner, as the two of them wandered the streets. "Let him think about it. Misa wants to look absolutely stunning for this shoot. They might make Misa one of their main models. Then, Misa-Misa will definitely be a star!"

Rem didn't seem to understand why Misa aimed for such things, but decided that if it made the girl happy, it was good enough for her.

Misa spent her time waiting by window shopping, happily dragging her reluctant shinigami along. If other people could've seen it, it might have been an amusing sight, if not for Rem's frightening appearance.

Misa had gotten into the habit of pretending she was on her cell phone at times like this, enabling her to talk to Rem without people staring. Of course, if they had been paying any attention to the conversation, eavesdroppers would've noticed that the girl was asking for opinions on the outfits in front of her, without ever taking the time to describe them to the person who was supposedly on the other end.

The charade continued until Misa, finally bored, noticed a sign out of the corner of her eye. She stopped, read the scrolling gold leaf fully, and with a mischievous grin simply walked onto the grounds.

"Misa," Rem called behind her. "Are you sure you're allowed here?"

"Maybe not," Misa shrugged. "But there are no guards. Besides, Misa always wanted to go to school! Goodbye, Rem," she said, and snapped the phone shut.

The shinigami frowned in disapproval as her partner put her phone back in her purse. This meant that no matter what she said, Misa was going to ignore her. It made it impossible for any sort of compromise. She didn't like it when Misa played tricks like this. The girl had the unfair advantage at the moment, and she knew it.

Misa, on the other hand, was enjoying her trespassing. The campus itself was very pretty, though even Misa could notice how prearranged all the flora was. The male students all dressed in neatly ironed slacks and buttoned down shirts, while the girls wore perfectly tailored capris or modest skirts to go with their dainty blouses. It was all a bit too picturesque for Misa's taste, and if she hadn't been so confident in herself and her looks, she would've felt horribly out of place.

Still, it was interesting to watch the students going flying by her; some of them shouting to others they were late for class, while others seemed to have their faces glued into books. She even noticed a few of them looking at her with possible recognition. However, they made no movement toward her, and Misa didn't really feel like encouraging people at the moment. Maybe after she decided to leave. A small mob of fans always was fun to her, even if it did make Rem a little irritated. Maybe that was half the reason she found it so amusing.

But as Misa walked through the student body, something flashed yards in front of her that caught her attention, making her heart stop and her blood run cold. She halted like her legs were suddenly made of lead, which was what they basically felt like.

She bit her lip, staring on. She had to have been mistaken. Was seeing things out of hope and anxiousness. Surely, her luck wasn't possibly this good.

Still, Misa had to be sure. Ignoring Rem's questioning, she began to follow a single student, though he was surrounded by other people. The students around him would turn to speak, including the tall, pretty dark haired girl by his side. But the brown haired boy, if he was saying anything, never moved his head, making it impossible for Misa's shinigami eyes to see what she wanted to. She'd only caught his profile for a second when he had shifted the weight of his books ahead of her, but within that small time frame Misa would have sworn that he had no lifespan. And there could be only one reason for that.

A small part of her told her not to get her hopes up, but the rest of her --her heart and soul-- told her to continue on. Because, if she was right, if he was who she thought he might be... Everything would fall so very perfectly into place.

So focused on the boy in front of her, Misa missed the choked gasp her shinigami let out.

"Misa," Rem said, voice tight. "Let's go, okay? You'll be late."

"In a minute, Rem," Misa answered, not really caring if anyone heard her. "Misa is busy."

"But, Misa-"

It was too late. The dark haired girl had said something that caused the young man to look at her and smile politely. In that moment Misa's eyes saw all they needed to see in bright red.

_Yagami Light._

And nothing else.

A triumphant smile burst its way onto Misa's face, the girl looking up at the death god next to her with excitement in her eyes. She ignored Rem's look of distress, concluding that her partner was once again fretting when she needn't be. This was what Misa wanted, and that's all that mattered at the time.

But then, Misa began to panic a little. How to introduce herself? She couldn't walk over and just tell him that she knew he was Kira. But she couldn't let him go now that she finally found him, either. The longer she waited, the longer Ryuuzaki was in danger, after all.

"Hey," she heard someone whisper behind her. "That looks like Misa-Misa!"

"What?" another hushed voice sounded incredulous. "There's no way a model would be at our school."

She listened to the two people bicker behind her for a few minutes longer, keeping her head down in the hopes that they wouldn't investigate any further. Finally, the skeptical one convinced their companion to walk away, and Misa was free to continue on without worry of recognition.

However, the two had given her an idea, and Misa's smile returned. A regular girl may not have been able to walk up to Yagami Light and speak to him without looking strange. But Misa-Misa was no ordinary girl. Models went out with handsome young men all the time. A cute boyfriend here and there, when properly handled, was good for one's career. And she'd definitely give Yagami Light that. He was very nice to look at.

She almost giggled. Her hero really did look like he came out of a fairytale. Now, it was only a matter of the princess introducing herself to the prince. With a sigh, Misa waited for the crowd around him to disperse a bit. She didn't want to come up to him when there were so many people around, particularly the young woman who was by his side. If she was his girlfriend, it would be trouble. Not that she was a match for Misa --Misa found the girl too plain and dull looking. Not nearly as pretty as she was!-- but she wanted this to go as smoothly as possible.

While she waited, Misa quickly combed through her hair with her fingers, and readjusted her skirt. She wanted to be as presentable, and every little bit counted.

Finally, the boy who was Kira stopped in front of a bench, and began talking to someone who was on it. Whoever it was, Misa couldn't see them, as Yagami Light stood directly in her view, nor was she really paying attention. As it was, people began to leave, including the dark haired girl. It was only Kira and whoever was on the bench that he was talking to now. Misa decided that this was her chance. If there was only one other person around besides Yagami Light it didn't really matter. After all, she was simply going to introduce herself as Misa-Misa, and charm herself into a date. She would reveal her true intentions later on, in a more private setting.

Shaking her legs and arms a bit to settle nerves, Misa took a deep breath and began to move toward her intended target, eyes focused on his glowing red name and nothing else. She reasoned that if she just looked at that, then she would forget about losing her nerve until it was too late.

"Misa," Rem implored, nearly grabbing onto her. "Please, let's leave, now. Misa, _please._"

The shinigami's begging fell on deaf ears, though that didn't deter her much. She was still pleading by the time Misa had reached her destination. He was tall, Misa idly noted. She wondered if was taller than Ryuuzaki.

"Excuse me," Misa said brightly, delicately clearing her throat.

Yagami Light turned around, and for a moment, a mere moment, Misa thought she saw irritation in his eyes. But it was gone in a flash, and he gave her a handsome, if somewhat befuddled smile. "Um, yes?"

She gave him her most coy expression. "My name is Amane Misa, and-"

There was a distinct _thud_ from the bench, and both turned to look. Misa's heart leapt into her throat, and she clearly heard Rem's quick intake of breath.

Ryuuzaki stared back at her, his body fallen, almost twisted on the bench. His dark eyes were wider than usual, his candy stained lips slightly parted. It was the closest thing to shock Misa had ever seen on him, and it disturbed her.

"Ryuuzaki-san?" Misa questioned, and felt even more puzzled when Yagami Light's head snapped to attention.

"Ryuuga," he said, turning to Ryuuzaki, "this girl knows you?"

"Ryuu... ga?" Misa repeated, lost, as her vision drifted from Ryuuzaki's face to the numbers and words that danced above his head.

Her eyes suddenly widened, as Misa's stomach plummeted. It didn't make any sense to her. None, at all. Ryuuzaki's name... It was wrong. Entirely wrong. It was supposed to be Ryuuzaki Hideo. So why, instead, were the bright red letters spelling out some strange, foreign name? Why were they suddenly burning themselves in her mind, mocking her?

Rem's past words began to haunt her.

_"Ryuuzaki was talking about Kira, too. He is trying to find him."_

_"Misa, if you keep this up, one of them is bound to die."_

_"Another rule? A shinigami cannot tell a person another human being's true name and lifespan."_

His true name.

Such an odd name to have. A name that seemed even stranger as it glared at her in blood red. Almost accusing. Almost damning. _What a stupid girl Misa is. Stupid, blind little girl. Look at what you've done now._

Misa felt her legs buckle underneath her.

Light looked startled, reaching out to her. "Miss!"

But Misa was still too consumed by the crimson letters above the man she had known as Ryuuzaki for over a year to even notice she was falling to the ground.

"Miss!"

The name blurred into a red haze, and at that moment the world ceased to exist.

---

When Misa came to, both Light and Rem were hovering over her with dual expressions of concern. Ryuuzaki stood a few feet back, chewing hard on his thumb, but otherwise showing no emotion. Misa felt sick, and turned away from him, away from the red lie that etched itself above his head.

"Are you okay, miss?" Light asked, holding out a hand to help her up.

"Misa thinks she's fine," she answered cautiously, accepting his offer and sat up. "She's just a little light headed."

"Well, that's good," he smiled, relieved. "You gave the two of us quite a scare. Didn't she, Ryuuga?" Light turned to the slouching young man behind them.

Ryuuzaki looked back, vacantly. "Yes," he said, tone utterly flat.

_Ryuuga._ Misa frowned slightly. How many fake names did he use? With a deep breath, she shakily stood up.

"Wait a minute," Light protested, standing up beside her. "You shouldn't get up so quickly."

Misa forced a smile. Her Kira was so kind. She'd be reveling in this, if she didn't feel like her insides were slowly dying one tiny bit at a time. "It's okay. Misa needs to go, anyway. She's late for an important photo shoot."

Light didn't seem to be convinced. "Well, you shouldn't go alone. Ryuuga, go with her." His eyes shot to Ryuuzaki intensely. "She's your friend, isn't she?"

Ryuuzaki stared back at the young man, not flinching for a moment. As Misa watched the two in their silent stand off, she couldn't help but feel like if she walked away right then without saying a word, neither of them would have noticed.

Instead, she raised her hands, shaking them in front of herself. "No, no. Misa is fine," she assured Light, ignoring the unkept man. "I just need to walk it off."

Light frowned. "But-"

"Really, I'm okay," Misa said, already backing away, desperate to leave. "And I really have to go now."

"If you're sure," Light relented, not looking pleased.

"Yes, Misa is sure. Goodbye," she gave a quick wave to Light, and, still ignoring Ryuuzaki, spun on her heal and began to speed walk away, managing to stop herself from breaking out into a full run.

She arrived back at the photo shoot twenty minutes late. The photographer gave her a disapproving frown, and the wardrobe artist had a fit. She didn't make them any happier when she told them in a dull voice that she needed to use the bathroom, and walked to the dressing trailer without listening to their cries of protest.

"Misa?" Rem ventured when they were alone.

"Rem," the girl returned, near lifelessly. "Don't follow Misa into the bathroom." And with that, she shut the bathroom door behind her.

With numb fingers, Misa turned the sink faucet on, splashing the cold water that poured out greedily on her face. She could barely feel it. Breathing heavily, she gazed up at the mirror, watching as her mascara ran down her face in a mockery of tears she couldn't bring herself to produce. Her eyes ventured a little farther up, to her name that glowed crimson. Her name.

His name. His _real_ name.

Misa choked down a sob, only for her stomach to object. Giving in, she fell to the floor, vomiting until there was nothing left inside of her but pain.


	16. The Space Between Dream and Reality

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 6: The Space Between Dream and Reality**

Misa hated irony. She hated when an expected truth disappeared in front of her eyes, only to be replaced by something else entirely.

The photo shoot with Funhouse had been, surprisingly, a large success. Despite her rather sour demeanor towards both the photographer and the wardrobe artist, the moment Misa stepped in front of the camera something unusual sparked.

A Funhouse representative had called Misa's manager the next day, raving about the pictures. Apparently, they had expected Misa-Misa to show her standard smiles and coy winks. Instead, what they had gotten was a solemn young girl with ghosts in her eyes. They had loved each frame taken.

Misa-Misa was on her way to the top, at the same time that Amane Misa felt herself crashing down at the bottom.

Misa hated that. She hated that irony.

Yagami Light was Kira. She had seen it with her own eyes. She had longed to meet Kira for a year, and he had finally appeared before her. Misa had been so eager to rush to him, to confess to him. To tell him her secrets, and her plan to help him create a perfect world.

How perfect it would've been. She would've gladly become his Eyes, his tool. A willing servant in his new kingdom. She would've killed his greatest rival, L, and then happily been as his beckoned call. All to ultimately save Ryuuzaki.

But Ryuuzaki, she found out, wasn't "Ryuuzaki," at all.

Ryuuzaki, as it turned out, was L.

Ryuuzaki was L. _Her _Ryuuzaki.

_Her _Ryuuzaki didn't even exist. He was a grandiose lie wrapped up in worn shirts and faded jeans. A fabrication with wide eyes and messy hair that was surprisingly soft when she touched it.

Misa hated irony.

**oooo**

"Misa?" Rem prodded for what was quite possibly the fifth time. "Please, say something."

The girl remained nearly silent, save for a shaky sob every so often that she was unable to muffle. She was curled up trembling on her bed, face buried in a pillow.

She'd been in such a state almost nonstop since the incident at the school, and Rem was beside herself with worry. She'd known that Misa would take the truth hard, but she hadn't expected her to have an emotional breakdown.

"Misa," the shinigami tried again. "You'll feel better if you talk."

Misa raised her head to that, red rimmed eyes glaring at her partner. "Better?" Misa spat. "What's to feel better about? Misa is an idiot! She thought she was protecting Ryuuzaki-san. Thought she was doing the right thing. That killing L would solve everything.  
"But, she was wrong! Wrong about everything, and she never saw it. Everything Misa did was stupid, was _pointless,_ because Misa was lied to. Because Ryuuzaki-san is L. The person that I was trying to protect most of all... Is the person that I've been trying to kill."  
She got very quiet then, pushing herself up on her knees, and staring blankly at her bedpost. Raking a hand through tasseled locks, she murmured, "I killed for him. I killed people. Some were good people, Misa is sure of it. I-I thought it would be okay, because sacrifices must be made. Kira makes sacrifices, so it couldn't be a bad thing, right? But... but..." Her face crumpled. "I thought killing L was okay, too. And I was wrong about that. So, maybe everything was wrong. Everything Misa did was a mistake.  
"I'm a bad person now, aren't I?" she asked, hugging her tear soaked pillow against her chest. "I killed good people, and there wasn't even a good reason for it! There was supposed to be a good reason. That's what made it okay. That's what made Misa still good! But since Ryuuzaki-san was L, those people died for nothing. Misa killed them for nothing!  
"Misa is so stupid!" she cried, collapsing back onto the sheet strewn bed.

Rem looked on, unable to think of anything that could comfort the distraught girl.

"It's not fair!" Misa declared, suddenly lurching up towards the death god. "Why can't Ryuuzaki-san and L be different people? That's how it was supposed to be! Because Misa hates L, and she... " she choked on the words." She _doesn't_ hate Ryuuzaki-san. So, they should be separate people. That way, I can kill L, and still have Ryuuzaki-san."

"It doesn't work that way, Misa," Rem replied, softly.

"Well, why not?" Misa demanded, feverishly. "I don't want L. I want Ryuuzaki-san! I only want Ryuuzaki-san. L should just disappear! Ryuuzaki-san should just be Misa's Ryuuzaki-san, like he's always been. He shouldn't be the world's L.  
"It's not fair," she repeated, the fire slowly dying in her. "Why can't they just be two people, Rem? Why? _Why?"_

Gently, Rem reached up with one gaunt hand, and combed her thin fingers through Misa's hair. "I don't know, Misa," she admitted. "It's just how it is."

Misa became silent, closing her eyes and leaning into the soft touch. What Rem thought might be her heart tugged at the sight before her. How dangerous it was to love a human being. It was as much a threat to another human's life as it was a shinigami.

"I still hate L," Misa whispered.

"I know," Rem said.

"I still want to be with Ryuuzaki-san."

"I know."

"I can't have both, can I?"

"No."

With a deep sigh, Misa reached up and stilled Rem's hand, holding it in her own delicate fingers. "Rem is a good friend," she said, a small smile appearing for only a second. "You tried to protect Misa this entire time, didn't you? And Misa didn't listen. Sorry."

The shinigami tilted her head, stunned speechless at the sight before her. No one had ever called her a friend before, or even apologized when one was deserved. In fact, through the few centuries Rem had lived, she couldn't recall a single time where she had ever been truly close to anyone in the shinigami realm. The death god wondered, not for the first time, just how deeply she cared for the human she'd taken on as a partner. Was it as deeply as the girl cared for her deceitful detective?

"I just... " Misa let go of Rem's hand, and laid back down on her bed. "I just don't know what to do anymore, Rem. How is Misa supposed to fix this?"

There were plenty of things Rem thought would fix the situation. The majority of them ended with both L and Yagami Light dead. However, the shinigami knew all too well just what Misa would think of that. And since it appeared that the girl was finally beginning to calm down, Rem decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and remained silent.

**oooo**

Rem disappeared a lot after Misa's discovery of the truth. Misa normally would have wondered where the shinigami constantly took off to, but her mind was far too preoccupied with more stressful matters. Like just how she was supposed to move forward, when everything in her life had turned so perfectly topsy-turvy on her.

Even when she had managed to pull herself mostly together, Misa still found that she was completely unsure of what to do, and how to go about doing it. It had been so much simpler before, when she had thought she had everything figured out. The truth, she found, was not only stranger than fiction, but much more complicated.

To make matters worse, the Funhouse ads had exploded in every magazine possible. They had caught the attention of every photographer, company, and talk show. Everyone was calling, overwhelming her manager to the point where she'd hired a secretary solely to handle the influx of requests. Misa-Misa was suddenly in the highest demand she'd ever been.

And while it was most likely foolish of her to ignore her present situation, for the moment, Misa decided that distractions were absolutely forgivable.

Besides, she had reminded herself, Ryuuzaki wasn't the only person in her life.

"Misa, I have to say I'm really impressed," Mamori complimented her, and Misa could hear her rifle through paperwork. "I can't say I have a real good eye for modeling or anything, but I really like those Funhouse ads you did. I think it's the first time I've ever seen you look serious in pictures before."

Misa adjusted the phone. "Really? I didn't even notice I was doing anything different."

On the other end, Mamori snorted. "Leave it to you to be oblivious. Well, they're really nice. Even if you look rather depressed."

"Depressed," Misa reiterated. "Mmmm, can we talk about something else? Misa is kinda tired of everything being about those ads."

"Okay, then. Actually, I do have something I want to talk to you about. Or, more like someone," Mamori amended. "Detective Ryuuzaki Hideo."

Misa's heart jumped, then froze. "What?"

"You have to remember. It's the name of the detective that interviewed you after mom and dad died," Mamori said. "The man who's name I didn't recall seeing on their files.

"Well, I did a little background check, and it turns out this guy was apparently some up and coming hot shot. Solved about fifteen murder cases in a month's time for the police here, and that's including three cold cases."

"Oh," Misa uttered, with little conviction.

"'Oh?' Misa, that's amazing!" Mamori insisted. "It had to be sheer lack of evidence that he wasn't able to get mom and dad's murderer to trial. It certainly wasn't from lack of talent. He was pretty spectacular, from what I managed to scrape up."

"Was?"

"Yes. Was," Mamori sighed. "Seems that shortly after mom and dad's case, he just up and quit. The detectives around here really don't know why. Apparently, he insisted on working alone. He was rarely even heard from, let alone seen. And, none of the higher ups have really told anyone why he left. Pretty interesting, huh?"

Misa frowned. Of course he vanished. _L_ had come in to solve the unsolvable, then ran off when a bigger case with a probably bigger cash flow came to entice him away. He'd most likely come back to Japan only because of the money he'd make off the Kira case.

Ryuuzaki hadn't come back for Misa, at all. L had come back for Kira.

"Misa?" Mamori prodded.

"Hm? Oh, sorry," Misa apologized, slightly flustered. "I-I guess that is kind of interesting. But, Misa doesn't really talk about that, either."

"Oh, really?" Mamori sounded frustrated, then heaved a sigh. "Well, then... Hmm... How about that secret boyfriend of yours?" she suggested. "You never did tell me about him."

Misa nearly flung the phone. Must everything come back to _him?_ "Misa doesn't have a boyfriend!"

"But-"

"No boyfriend!"

Mamori was silent for a moment, clearly stunned, before relenting. "Okay. Sorry I asked."

Misa flinched at the offended tone her sister was using. It wasn't Mamori's fault, really. She didn't deserve to have Misa's anger taken out on her.

"Mamori, I... Really, I... "

A knock on her door halted Misa's stuttered apology attempt. A rapping that came with a quirky, but familiar rhythm. Her whole body froze, except for the loud pounding of her heart.

Rem poked her head through the apartment door then. Once seeing Misa was there, she easily glided in like a ghost. While her face wasn't able to express much emotion, her visible eye was darting about nervously.

"L," she said, simply.

Misa took a sharp intake of air. So, was that what Rem had been doing during all her disappearances? Tailing Ryuu... Tailing _L?_ Misa supposed it would be just like her partner to do so. It was just Rem's way, being so protective. Of course, Misa had already known who was at the door. There was only one person who would ever knock on her door as if composing a song on the spot.

"Why is he here?" Misa managed to whisper, her once still body suddenly beginning to shake.

"Who?" Mamori questioned on the other end of the phone.

"Damage control," Rem said. "He suspects Yagami Light is Kira. Now that Yagami is aware that you are acquainted with L outside of the school, he wants to make sure you don't go back there."

"He's protecting Misa?" she asked.

"Huh?" Mamori uttered, confused.

"Or protecting himself," suggested Rem. "After all, you'd make a good bargaining tool. It would be dangerous for him to allow Yagami Light to meet you again. I would just leave him out there."

Misa frowned. Rem had a point. Her appearance at the school was probably a gigantic disaster when it came to L's plans. Her seeing Light again would most likely make matters even worse for the detective.

Once more, he wasn't seeing her because Ryuuzaki wanted to spend time with Misa. He was there because L wanted to cover his tracks.

She huffed then. Well, she didn't care anymore! L was a liar. Whereas Kira was her truth. She would see Yagami Light all she wanted, and to hell with what L thought on the matter.

But then, if that ultimately led to his death...

"Misa wants to see him," Misa declared, bounding over to the door, while the rhythmic knocking from the other side continued.

"See who?!" Mamori practically hollered, now completely lost and frustrated.

Misa reached for the doorknob. "Misa's secret boyfriend," she replied, offhandedly.

"What? But, I thought you-"

"Bye, Mamori."

If her sister had tried to say anything else, Misa didn't hear it as she closed and pocketed the phone. With a trembling hand, she swung the door open.

The man she'd come to know as Ryuuzaki greeted her with his usual wide eyes, and his fist still held up. He gave her an odd look for a moment, before quickly reaching out, and giving the door a final three taps.

She stared at him confused as a small smile played on his features.

"I should write that one down," was all he said about it, before finally giving her his full attention. "May I come in, Misa-san?"

"Uh, yes," she uttered, trying to focus her eyes on his face, and not the name that flashed above his head. She shut the door behind them, wary and curious. "Misa is surprised. She didn't expect Ryuuzaki-san to visit. You've been so busy."

"I suppose so," he said, nibbling on his thumb as his eyes gazed passed her to the kitchen. He gave the counters a quick look, and frowned. "Misa-san, you don't have any sweets out."

She huffed at the statement. "Of course, not! Misa only makes fattening things if she thinks Ryuuzaki-san is going to visit. And you haven't for a real long time. It's your own fault that there's nothing."

"Oh," he muttered, clearly disappointed. Then, he looked at her hopefully. "You wouldn't be able to make some tea, would you? Assuming you haven't thrown the sugar out."

Misa gave him a flat look, then threw her hands up in defeat. "Okay, tea. I think there's still sugar in the cabinet."

This seemed to please him, and he situated himself on his usual spot on the couch. It was almost like nothing had changed, Misa noted. Like she didn't know that Ryuuzaki was really L, and that he wasn't visiting her just to cover himself. It was just a normal appearance by Ryuuzaki, there to talk about things and devour anything with sugar that she prepared him.

"I wasn't expecting to see you the other day," he commented suddenly.

Misa nearly spilled the tea she'd been pouring. Of course, just because it appeared that nothing had changed, it was still obvious to her that everything had.

"Oh? Misa was just wasting time before her big shoot that day," she explained, hoping her voice didn't really sound the half octave higher it did to her ears.

"Ah," he murmured, taking the cup she offered him, free hand already reaching for the sugar cubes she'd placed on the table in front of them. "Was that the Funhouse shoot?"

Misa blinked. She had expected him to remain on the subject of her appearance at the school. "Um, yes."

"Those ads seemed to be quite the success," he said, dropping sugar cubes, one at time into his tea, apparently taking a small amount of pleasure in waiting for the tiny _plop _sound they made. "They're everywhere, and I've noticed that you've been on television more often."

"Yes," she nodded, still confused with the route of the conversation. "Misa's very popular now. She's even been asked to host a few shows."

"That's very nice," he complimented. He took a long sip of his overly sweetened tea, and a serious look crossed his face. "Misa-san, I have a small confession."

Misa held her breath. He wouldn't tell her that he was L, would he? No, she rejected the notion, of course not. There really was no reason to, and it was dangerous to do so. But, what else could it be? Maybe he'd at least admit that he was at the school on an investigation. He'd probably give her a long speech about how she should never go there again, and how she'd nearly messed up everything he'd worked on.

The thought left her annoyed, and she jutted out her jaw. "Really?" she asked, unable to take the edge completely out of her voice.

Not that he seemed to notice. "Yes. Please, don't take offense to it."

She raised a brow. Offense? Was he really going to give her that much of a lecture? "...Okay."

He gave her a sideways look. "You see," he began, his tone even, "I don't really like those Funhouse ads."

There was a pregnant moment of total silence. Then, Misa heard Rem somewhere behind her make a small, strangled noise that sounded something between confused and furious.

For her part, Misa was dumbfounded. "Huh?"

"Don't get me wrong," he continued, almost sounding apologetic. "They're lovely pictures. It's just, they don't look right to me."

Still at a loss, she managed to say, "Misa's pictures are wrong?"

"Well, the problem is that you're not smiling in them," he explained. "Frowns don't look particularly attractive on you."

Confusion gave way to anger in an instant. "Are you saying Misa looked ugly?!" she snarled.

"Not really ugly, per say," he amended, perhaps to save himself from any physical punishment. "Just not like yourself. I've come to the decision that I much prefer you smiling than frowning. It's more aesthetically pleasing for your particular features," he added, almost like an afterthought.

And then Misa was back to confused. Part of her, the part that still thought of the man next to her as Ryuuzaki, was happy and jittery over his comments. The other part of her, the part that knew that the man next to her was L, was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Surely, he would say something sooner or later. He couldn't possibly just let it hang in the air, unresolved, could he? It didn't make any sense, especially if he'd come over to cover up what he could, like Rem had said. Did this mean he wasn't going to say anything, at all? Maybe he was going to pretend nothing happened. Or worse yet, maybe he was going to disappear for good, and he was just visiting for one last time.

That thought made Misa's anxiety rise to the point that she finally slipped, "Ryuuzaki-san isn't mad at Misa?"

"Hm?" he tilted his head, forefinger tapping on his bottom lip.

"Ryuuzaki-san isn't mad that Misa... That Misa bumped into him at the school?" she began to play at the hem of her skirt, pulling and twisting it nervously. "Misa knows that she probably shouldn't have been there. She didn't mean to do anything wrong.  
"Really, Misa has been trying really hard lately to make everything perfect," she confessed, tilting her head down to make sure her hair covered her face if she began to cry. "But everything just seemed to be wrong. I've made so many... mistakes. I've been really stupid. So stupid! So, I understand if Ryuuzaki-san is-"

"Misa-san," he interrupted.

"Yes?" she looked at him, suddenly feeling cold. She should've kept her mouth shut. Should've continued to play dumb. Now, it was too late.

Suddenly, her vision of him was obstructed by his cup.

"I'm out of tea," he announced.

She stared. "What?"

"Tea," he repeated. "I'm out of it. Could I have some more?"

Misa was exasperated. "Have you ignored everything Misa just said?" she demanded.

"No," he said. "I just don't care."

"What?" she snapped, feeling her anger rise.

"It's inconsequential, Misa-san," he explained, finally lowering the cup. "I suppose we could talk about the incident, but there really seems to be no reason for it. You already seem to have somewhat of an understanding as to why I was there, and seeing as how I cannot and will not go into further detail about the situation, what's the point?  
"I'm really not one for lecturing, to be honest," he admitted, tapping the side of his cup with a chewed down nail. "I'd rather not have to give one, especially when I don't particularly have to. Besides, when I'm here I'd much prefer to talk about other things. I'd like to enjoy my time with you, Misa-san." He turned to her. "Don't you agree?"

Misa gazed at him silently. This is what he really wanted? Honestly, to just spend time with her was the reason for this visit? She wanted to believe that. Believe that she was important enough to warrant him wanting to just be with her. That she wasn't just a conveniently placed distraction during his time on the Kira case.

The letters above his head told her otherwise. That he still was who he was, and nothing would change that.

So, Misa made a decision. She closed her eyes, blocking out the damning name, and leaned over to wrap her arms around the thin detective. He stiffened, but didn't protest when rested her head against his shoulder.

"Misa missed Ryuuzaki-san," she whispered.

"...Ah," he replied, sounding mildly uncomfortable.

Unable to help herself, she gave his neck a little nuzzle, and giggled when he jerked at the touch.

Misa wasn't stupid. She knew that the man she held was L. That he was the person behind the garbled voice that had sworn to send Kira to his death. And yet, everything he did, everything he said... He was still Ryuuzaki to her. When he spoke, it wasn't in that cold, determined tone that L had. It was a soft, pleasant sounding tenor. L spoke about Kira and justice. Ryuuzaki talked about sweets and how she was pretty.

She knew she couldn't really separate one from the other, but Misa couldn't help but trick herself. Trick herself into believing that the man in her arms was Ryuuzaki, and only him. Because while she still hated L, she cared for Ryuuzaki even moreso. And really, Ryuuzaki had been the important one all along, hadn't he?

So, Misa decided that reality could take a backseat to her fantasy. Ryuuzaki was Ryuuzaki, and no one else. And she would do anything to keep her Ryuuzaki safe and with her. Anything at all.


	17. Superstar

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

And I apologize about the very late new chapter. Cons, family, holidays, and life in general have been crazy-go-nuts the past couple months. As it is, I'm right now battling off a cold that refuses to go away. Regardless, I'll do my best to not let life drag me away from this story for too long again.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 7: Superstar**

Living in false ignorance, Misa found out, was more difficult than it first seemed. She thought that just going on with life as usual was the best course of action. As it was, even if L suspected that Yagami Light was Kira, there was no way he'd figure out the means of which Light used to kill. After all, L was Ryuuzaki. And Ryuuzaki was the most logical person Misa knew. He'd never believe that one could take lives with a book; the idea was absurd.

There was also the fact that Light obviously didn't have the eyes. He definitely would've killed Ryuuzaki by now if he did. And if Misa wasn't able to get Ryuuzaki's real name out of him after all this time --the shinigami eyes didn't count-- there was no way Light would, what with Ryuuzaki's suspicions being on him.

They were at a standstill, and would probably remain that way permanently. Misa just couldn't see how either of them could really get an upper hand in the situation, and she decided that was best. Kira would never be caught, and Ryuuzaki would never be killed.

With that settled, Misa went back to life as usual. She was much busier now that stardom had come to greet her in such measure, but otherwise she tried not to change much. She talked to Mamori on the phone at least twice a week, and like clockwork would paste new Kira stories in her scrapbook each night. And while Ryuuzaki had unsurprisingly not made a personal appearance after their anti-climatic confrontation over Misa's visit to Toh-oh, he did call at least once a week, which was far steadier than it had been in months. Life seemed good to Misa. Back to how it used to be.

Still, as much as she told herself that this is what she wanted. Misa found herself unable to give up the one thing that would officially bring everything back to the beginning in her mind.

Rem had offered on more than one occasion to take back the Death Note. That once she did, Misa would forget anything to do with it; all the murders she'd committed. Even who L and Kira really were.

It was an enticing proposition. It was even practical. However, every time the words tried to come, they would trip on Misa's tongue, and she'd choke on them. She didn't know why, but the notion of losing everything she'd learned frightened her, even more than what she'd done because of the knowledge.

While Misa seemed confused over her own actions, Rem had a much better understanding of the situation.

"It's for the power," the shinigami had said once, after another failed attempt on Misa's part to garner up the courage to hand over the book.

"The power?" Misa repeated.

Rem nodded. "Because you finally have something that neither L nor Kira have, even though you think they're smarter than you."

Misa frowned at the statement. She had always believed that Ryuuzaki was brilliant-- definitely more of an intellect than she could ever be. And yes, Kira was a genius in her eyes. Still, she didn't follow Rem's line of thought.

"You see, Misa," the death god began, smiling slightly, "you have knowledge on your side."

Misa's eyes widened, realization dawning.

Rem's cold smile widened. "Yes. You know who both L and Kira really are. You have their true names. While they have no idea that you have their lives in your hands. In the fight between L and Kira, you're a pawn to them, at best. They have no clue that in reality," she patted a skeletal hand atop the girl's head, "you're really the queen on the board."

**oooo**

Misa's work schedule had recently become so hectic that she at times was unaware of which photo shoot was for what. Not that she didn't enjoy the new pace; it was easy to keep her mind off of problems when she was too busy to think of anything else but the latest photographer flashing their camera at her.

The only thing Misa hadn't really counted on was the sudden lack of privacy. It was almost impossible to walk outside and do little things, like shopping, without either being stared and pointed at, or even all out surrounded by fans. While Misa liked her new fame, it made getting groceries a bigger chore than she wished.

Her solution was to take out her old disguise she'd used to go to Aoyama in. While it hadn't been of any good to her back then, it quickly began to show usefulness on the very first day she used it to go shopping. No one in the stores had given her a second look as she shifted through clothing racks. And as long as she remembered to keep up her act (head down, voice soft), it was as if she were anonymous to the public again.

So satisfied with how well her disguise worked, Misa began to buy outfits just for the sake of it. Oversized sweaters and pleated skirts were her favorite; they were cute, without being eye catching. She even came up with a name for her new persona.

If she'd taken the time to think about it, Misa probably would've noticed the irony of the situation. But she was too busy to reflect upon anything like parallels between her and Ryuuzaki.

One thing that Misa loved to do on her rare days off was spend her lunch time in a cafe near her apartment. While she prided herself on her baking skills (had even made some very pretty cakes for television shows she'd been recently invited to), her all around cooking skills had much to be desired. Sandwiches were about as highbrow as she could go. Any non-sugar laden item that required cooking usually ended up either too cooked, not cooked enough, or totally unidentifiable after Misa placed it in the oven. Bento boxes were also out of the question.

And so, it wasn't at all unusual for Misa to dress herself up in her disguise, and walk over to the cafe for a small lunch.

The lack of culinary talent was only one reason Misa went. The other, sometimes more pressing reason was to watch the crowd that tended to gather at the time.

They were usually teenagers, all sorts of groups sitting apart from each other. Usually young girls, some even in Gothic Lolita attire that she herself modeled in ads.

When she saw that, Misa would smile proudly from behind a newspaper she wasn't really reading.

Yes, it was arrogant. Even immature. But to be there just for the possibility of over hearing a conversation about herself was a thrill like no other. Misa-Misa was finally a _star._ And listening to the times that girls would fawn over and envy her was something she couldn't get enough of.

And it was for this possible ego boost (and a nice salad) that Misa sat herself down at a small table in the cafe one Sunday, a magazine in hand. She had deliberately taken one that didn't have an ad or an article with her in it. Though, that was becoming less and less frequent. She could let her vanity go only so far, after all.

She was reading a fashion article, absentmindedly picking at her meal when Rem suddenly loomed over her in a slight panic.

"I think it's best we leave now, Misa," the shinigami suggested, looking none too pleased.

Misa frowned. Rem knew she couldn't really talk to her at the moment, so she wished her partner would elaborate more. The girl leaned down and reached into her purse to find her cell phone. She always felt a little uncomfortable using it as a cover in such an enclosed area --heaven knew who was listening in-- but it was better than trying to play backwards charades.

While Misa was still bent over, she heard a scraping sound, and noticed the chair opposite of hers at her little table being pulled out. Frozen, she watched as a pair of khaki-clad legs sat down. Curious and confused, she straightened up to see the rest of the body attached.

It was to her credit that Misa didn't scream.

Not that most girls would've screamed if someone like Yagami Light had sat at their table. They'd probably be quite thrilled with it. Misa, on the other hand, was not like most girls. And Light was, without a doubt, not like most boys.

There must've been some shock on her face, however, since gave her a rather sheepish smile then, and politely asked, "You don't mind if I sit here, do you? All the other tables are taken."

Misa looked around, and sure enough the eatery was completely occupied. Turning back to him, she murmured, "O-of course, not. Go ahead." She quickly brought her magazine up in an almost defensive manner, and pretended to read while her mind went in circles.

Was it possible that he knew who she was, even in her disguise? No, how could he? She could barely recognize herself! Besides, he didn't have her full name when she'd met him at Toh-oh, and it had only been that once, and for a very short time, no less. Well, it was short to her; she wasn't that sure how long she'd be unconscious, but she doubted that during that time Ryuuzaki had really mentioned much about her. He probably had given Light answers that never truly answered anything. He was good at that.

And Light wasn't saying anything to her, even though if he spoke softly no one would hear them at their tiny spot. Instead, he seemed content to stir his coffee as he read through a thick textbook. It must've been some strange coincidence.

Rem was less convinced. She could see Ryuuk towering over the boy, chuckling to himself as if the entire scene was comical. It probably was to him. She'd long ago given up trying to talk to him while his human partner was around; Ryuuk made it a point to ignore her, no matter what she did or said. He probably didn't want to ruin his 'entertainment.' She would've bet that Light had no idea Misa also was in possession of a Death Note.

Still, Rem didn't believe that the Light boy would live anywhere near Misa to excuse him coming to this particular cafe, and conveniently at the same time Misa was. And while Rem had never seen Ryuuk about during Misa's excursions, it wouldn't have surprised the female shinigami if he deliberately made himself scarce at the right moments to make sure that Rem had no way to warn Misa.

If writing a shinigami's name down in a Death Note was an effective way with which to kill them, Rem would've been sorely tempted to try.

"That must be a really good article," Light spoke up, suddenly.

Misa let out a small squeak, tightening her hold on the magazine, wide eyes gazing over the top of it.

Light smiled apologetically. "Sorry. It's just that you looked so engrossed, I thought it must be interesting."

"Oh! I-it's okay," she replied, forcing herself to calm down. He was just making conversation. There was no harm in that. "It's actually kinda boring. I guess I should've grabbed a better magazine before leaving home."

The perfect smile never left his face. "My name's Light. What's yours?"

"Hikari."

Almost instantly, Misa felt idiotic. At the time of creating her nom de plume, she had thought it a rather clever nod. Had even gotten so used to saying to strangers, that now that Kira himself had asked for it, she couldn't stop herself from saying it.

However, it now sounded less than witty, and more like a silly fan's idealist dream. Childish and stupid. But she had said it, and it was out there for him to judge.

Light himself blinked a few times, before laughing pleasantly. "Well, that's a strange coincidence, don't you think?"

"I guess it is," Misa offered a small smile. Her initial shock was working in her favor, she decided. 'Hikari' was a shy young girl. And Misa-Misa was a good actress. It wouldn't be that hard to play along. Besides, now that she was beginning to feel more at ease, the prospect of eating lunch with Kira thrilled her.

"Do you come here often?" she asked, keeping her voice soft, making sure to look down and fidget with her fingers while she did so. "I don't think I've seen you before."

"I'm afraid not," Light admitted. "I actually go to a university quite a ways from here. However, one of my classmates lives nearby, and I just finished a study session with him and a few others a while ago. So, I decided to stop for lunch before heading home."

Misa wasn't sure if she should believe that, but from the loud grunt Rem made, she didn't think her partner did in the least. Still, she couldn't help but give Light the benefit of the doubt, regardless of her shinigami's warnings. He was her Kira, after all. Her hero.

"You go to a university?" she questioned, biting her lip.

"Yes. Toh-oh," he replied, flashing another easy smile. A charmer, through and through. Misa saw them all the time in her industry. Just never one who had it come as naturally as it did to this young man. "Top in my class."

Misa didn't doubt it for a minute. Kira was bound to be a genius. "That's amazing," she praised him, genuinely impressed. "I heard Toh-oh's hard to get into. Y-you must be really smart."

"I guess so," he shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed. "The other kids at my school seem to think so. The study group today was basically me explaining everything."

"They must look up to you," Misa commented, understanding how his classmates felt.

"Maybe. So, what do you do?" he asked. "Are you a student, Hikari-san?"

"M-me?" Misa pointed to herself, dumbly. She'd never gone so far as to come up with an actual occupation for her fake identity. She scrambled to recover from her mental fumble. "N-no, I'm not a student. I'm a photographer."

"A photographer?" Light repeated. "That's an interesting profession."

"Yes, it is," she nodded, wringing her hands, the nervous gesture only partially feigned. Being a model, Misa was somewhat informed about photos, and what effects and tricks were used. It was just that she never picked up a camera to actually _take _pictures. She doubted she'd even remember to take the lens off. But he didn't need to know that. "I'm mostly self taught, though," she said, figuring it wasn't a total lie. "I don't think I'm smart enough to go to a place like Toh-oh. I'm sure everything there would go right over my head!"

"Nothing is really that hard if you have the patience to learn it, and think everything through," he told her, his expression serious for a moment, before softening. "I bet you're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for."

"Oh, no," she shook her head, blushing.

Behind her, Rem frowned deeply at the loud chuckle Ryuuk let out.

"I... I'm really not that smart," Misa whispered, like she was confiding with a close friend. "I never have been. That's why I don't go to a university. I just can't figure things out, no matter how hard I try."

"I don't believe that," he told her, looking her in the eye. "No one who really wants to learn can't. All it takes is the desire to be smarter. Better. If you're complacent, you become one of them," he tilted his head to a group of giggling schoolgirls to the left of them. "They don't have any plans, any goals. They'll be lucky if the end up with minimum wage jobs at the end of school.  
"But, I don't think you're like that," Light said, leaning forward. "You have goals, Hikari-san, don't you?"

"Y-yes, I do!" Misa nodded, emphatically. "I want to do a lot of things."

"And I bet none of them are easy," he smiled, taking a small sip of his coffee. "But, that's what makes reaching the goals so satisfying. Knowing that you took risks, gave it your all, and came out on top. I bet with the proper motivation, you could learn anything."

"Really?" she felt her face grow even warmer. "W-would you tutor someone like me if they went to your school?"

"With more enthusiasm than I did with the group I dealt with today," he confessed with amusement in his tone. "They seemed more interested in talking about anything else but school subjects. Honestly, the whole study session today ran later than I thought it would," he sighed. "I didn't really plan on stopping anywhere for lunch."

"Oh? I-I really like this place," she said. "The food is good, and the atmosphere's nice."

"You think so?" Light looked around, frowning slightly. "It's a bit... crowded for my tastes. I like it quieter. Makes it easier to think."

Misa blushed, embarrassed. Of course, he'd prefer a more intellectual environment than a place filled with gossiping teenagers. He was so above this lot in life, she didn't even think she could make a proper comparison with her own limited intelligence. She doubted she even came close to equaling him in any way. But that didn't mean she'd give up. It only meant she needed to try harder. Now that she had another chance to speak with Kira without any interruptions, she'd do her best to make a good impression.

"I see what you mean," Misa consented. "I never really came here to think before, though." To this, she began to trace an invisible circle on the table, hoping it made her appear self-conscious.

It seemed to do the trick, because Light suddenly backpedaled. "I'm sorry! It's not that I don't think the place is nice. I just tend to like it a less noisy, that's all."

"No, no. I understand," she reassured him, smiling. "This place really isn't for everybody. A-and I suppose I could actually use a change of pace."

"Well, if you really think that, maybe you could try next week," Light said, smoothly. "The two of us."

"Absolutely not!" Rem declared, as though the boy would hear her thunderous cry.

Misa on the other hand, remained silent; face one of shock, until she finally managed to eek out, "P-pardon?"

Light rubbed his chin, sheepish. "Sorry. That was rather forward, wasn't it? It's just that I've liked talking with you. So, I thought that maybe we could spend more time together. If you'd like," he added.

"Misa, tell him no," Rem demanded, looming over the table to stare at her partner. "It's obviously a trap. Let's just leave."

However, it was obvious that Misa didn't have the misgivings the shinigami did. "Okay!" she agreed, smiling brightly. "Where should we go?"

"Why don't you pick?" he suggested. "You know this place better than I do."

Misa thinned her lips. He was giving her a test. It was small, and silly, but he was relying on her for something. She was more than up for it. "All right, then," she balled her fists in determination. "I-I'll find someplace nice, and quiet. Okay?"

Light smiled. "Sounds good. I'm looking forward to it."

**oooo**

Rem hadn't stopped badgering Misa since they had stepped out of the cafe, even after they had arrived back at the apartment.

"You can't be serious," Rem said, frowning. "You're not going to meet him again next week."

"Why not?" Misa challenged, walking into her bedroom to change. "Misa has wanted to meet Kira since he first killed the bad man who killed Misa's parents. And now she can."

"Because, he's clearly not doing it just because he 'liked talking to you,'" Rem retorted. "He's clearly planning something."

"Rem worries too much," the girl waved the comment aside. "Light never said anything about recognizing me."

"Oh. So you think he really wants to get to know 'Hikari,' huh?" Rem asked, voice flat.

"Why wouldn't he?" Misa huffed.

Rem reached out a gangly arm to Misa's dresser, picked up a hand mirror, and held it in front of Misa. "Do you honestly think a boy like Yagami Light would really want to be seen with a girl like Hikari?"

The girl in the mirror stared back behind thick lenses and a mousey haircut, and she bit her lip and shifted in her oversized clothing. She may be passable as cute in a geeky way, but never as pretty. Never like a girl a handsome top student would willingly associate with.

"Yes, well..." Misa took the false glasses off, "did Light's shinigami say anything?"

"Ryuuk? Of course, not," Rem snorted. "That would ruin his fun. He wouldn't do anything that would threaten that."

"Then Rem has no proof," Misa concluded. She reached up to remove her wig. "Besides, even if Light does know who Misa really is, Misa's still okay."

"And how do you figure that?" Rem asked.

"Did Rem forget?" Misa gave her a cold smile. "Misa knows who L and Kira are. But they don't know who Misa really is. So, Light can get close to Misa all he wants. I want to spend time with Kira. Get to know him, somehow tell him that I'm grateful."

Rem's frown deepened. "And when he tries to use you against L?"

"If-"

"_When _he tries?"

Misa glowered. "_If_ that happens, Misa will end it."

Rem got down to eye level, and stared intently at the girl. "How?"

She was only able to look Rem in the eye for a minute, before she became unnerved and looked away. "...I don't know."

The shinigami sighed. "That's what I'm worried about."

**oooo**

Ryuuzaki's weekly call happened in the middle of a photo shoot. And, just like whenever she got his call at such a time, Misa asked for a thirty minute break. The only difference being, now she had the power to actually get what she wanted without anyone daring to complain.

"It's kinda nice," she told him, while she sat in the dressing room they'd given her for the shoot. "Whatever Misa asks for, there's always someone around who says they'll do it. If I ask for some water, they even get me a chilled bottle instead of one of ones that they leave out on the table for the rest of the crew!"

"You sound like you're enjoying your new fame, Misa-san," Ryuuzaki commented.

"I guess. I just wish I had my free time back," she admitted. "I liked being able to go out without everyone recognizing me."

"There are worse things."

"It makes it very hard for Misa to get groceries. Which means it's doubly hard for Misa to make any cakes in case Ryuuzaki-san was to visit."

There was a pause. "That's unfortunate," he said, sincerely.

"Hey, Ryuuzaki-san," Misa began, tapping a manicured nail against the back of her phone, "if Misa went back to school, would you tutor her?"

"Do you plan on returning to school, Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Just answer," she pouted. "Would you?"

"I'm afraid I have a very busy schedule, Misa-san," he replied. "I probably would not have the time to spend tutoring you in your subjects."

"Not even if Misa asked really nicely?" she pushed, unable to resist. "Not even for a kiss?"

"No."

Misa let out an exasperated sigh. She didn't understand how he could lie to her about so many important things, and then turn around and tell her the bitter truth over something so frivolous. The man on the phone was a study of contradictions.

It's not that she blamed him completely. She knew what he was doing, who he was. L was even more famous than Misa-Misa. The entire world had heard of him. He had every police force at the tips of his fingers, just waiting for his orders if he so chose to give them. And now, he was going after who some considered the world's greatest killer. It was the biggest case of his career, and the ending of it would solidify him in legend.

Teaching Japan's biggest idol math? Not likely to be a top priority. But that didn't mean Misa was happy about it.

"Ryuuzaki-san never tells Misa what she wants to hear," Misa complained. "If you're going to be mean, you can at least visit every so often."

"I'm sorry, Misa-san. I'm-"

"Busy," she interrupted. "Busy, busy, busy. Ryuuzaki-san is always busy. But, that's okay," she told him. "Because I'm busy now, too. I just miss seeing you."

"Ah."

"Ryuuzaki-san misses Misa, too. Right?"

The lack of an answer was unsurprising, even while it was disappointing.

"Ryuuzaki-san never tells Misa what she wants to hear," she repeated, sighing.


	18. Gardenia

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note: _This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 11: Gardenia**

The sky was bluer than usual, Misa was sure of it. Tiny clouds specked across the expanse, and she found herself curling her fingers into the cool grass underneath just to enjoy the feeling.

"The park was a good idea, Hikari-san," Light complimented, from the shade of the tree they had set up under.

Misa smiled politely, trying her best not to beam with joy. Hikari would not do that. "Thank you, Light-san."

She had racked her brain for a good portion of the beginning of the week to come up with a place that was quiet and peaceful enough to please Kira. It wasn't that easy, given that most places in such a built up area were filled with either teenagers or twenty-somethings going to and from work. And the restaurants that weren't were incredibly expensive. And while Misa-Misa the model could easily afford them, Hikari the photographer could not. The park seemed to be her best bet. The weather was still warm enough for it, and you could always find an area secluded enough for private conversation.

That, and Misa really did love the flowers that they planted around the specific part of the park that she had steered Light to. The fragrance that filtered through the air when the breeze hit never failed to lift her mood. Getting to share it with Kira just made it even better.

"I-I'm really glad you invited me out," Misa said, her chopsticks poking at the tempura inside a store bought bento. In fact, most of the lunch she'd brought was straight from the grocers (sans desert, of course). However, Light didn't need to know that. "I don't really get to spend that much time with people my age."

"Really? Well, I would suppose most people in the photography business would be a little older than you," he chuckled. "You don't look any older than me, honestly."

Misa looked down, partially to appear embarrassed, and also because she faintly wondered just how old one usually was once they became a professional photographer. She winced inwardly. These were little things she really should've learned for her fake identity. Who knew she'd have to go this deep? "I only just started, actually. I'm doing little jobs right now. Free-lancing," she added, hoping it was a good cover. That was something an up and coming photographer would do, right?

"Free-lancing?" Light repeated.

"Yes," Misa nodded, her imagination doing its best to cover for her lack of research. The great actresses were the ones who could improvise, and Misa refused not to be the best at what she did. "I do portraits, mostly. I want to be fashion photographer. M-maybe I can take your picture once?" she smiled meekly, her shyness not entirely faked at the moment.

Light laughed, sheepishly. "Actually, I'm kind of camera-shy. I'm afraid I don't take very good pictures."

"That can't be true!" she exclaimed. He was far too handsome, had features too perfect, to not have that show up in a photo. Misa had seen models that just weren't photogenic. Yagami Light didn't fit that profile.

"I'm sorry, but it is," he insisted, smiling apologetically. "So, I don't really like having my picture taken. It's too embarrassing."

Misa still didn't quite believe it, but she decided to let it go. She didn't want to upset him. "That's okay. Hey, you never did tell me what you're going to school for," she pointed out. She leaned in, eager for the answer. There was so much she wanted to know about him, so much to learn.

"Nothing too exciting," Light admitted, taking a sip of tea. "Criminal justice."

Misa's eyes lit up. It all made perfect sense to her. Of course, Kira would be interested in such a field; his whole purpose was to bring judgement down upon those who were guilty. It was only natural that he'd gear every aspect of his life toward his goal. "A-actually, I find that really interesting. Do you want to be a lawyer?"

"Me?" he laughed, shaking his head. "No, not really. I'd actually like to be in law enforcement, like my father."

"Your dad is a police officer?" Misa let every bit of information sink in, not allowing anything to escape.

"Yes," Light answered, and Misa noticed the smile on his face was more genuine than his usual polite one. "A really great one, actually. He's my inspiration. For a lot of things," he added.

Kira looked up to his father. Suddenly, Misa found her heart swelling with fondness for the young man next to her. She had loved her parents so much, they had meant the world to her. That was why Kira's punishment of their killer had been such a wonderful moment. It had been relief from what had seemed like an unending cycle of fear and re-opened wounds. To know that Kira himself cared for his father enough to use his powers to help and protect him (for Misa was sure that was Kira's intentions) made her even more devoted to him and his cause.

With a sigh, Misa fell back on the grass, her eyes gazing on the white petals of the flowers that blew in the breeze a few yards away. She idly wondered if she could pick a few without getting caught.

"Hey, Light?" she began, slipping a little out of character. "Do you want to do this again soon?"

Misa missed the sharp grin that flashed on Light's face. "I'd love to, Hikari-san."

**oooo**

Misa was in a great mood by the time the taxi stopped a few blocks away from her home. She'd made a habit to slip into one of the side entrances while in disguise, since that particular area was fairly secluded with a few overgrown bushes that the gardeners never seemed to bother with. The other advantage to it being that there was a janitor's closet in foyer of that entranceway. It hadn't taken much persuading on Misa's behalf to get a spare key from one of the cleaning crew. It was the perfect place for Misa to slip in and out of her costume, so that no one saw 'Hikari' anywhere near Misa-Misa's apartment. All she had to do was buy an oversized shoulder bag. It wasn't anything she would use, but it worked wonderfully for her false persona, as well as being the ideal way to carry her real clothing for when she needed to change.

Smiling to herself as she walked down the sidewalk, Misa took in the scent of the gardenias she'd carefully plucked from the park. She couldn't wait to get them into some water once she reached home. They smelled divine. Almost as pleasing as the clean scent that Light had. Which she had to admit was better than Ryuuzaki, who tended to smell like either coffee or sugar, neither of which Misa was very fond of.

"Misa," Rem whispered in her ear, almost making Misa jump. "We have a problem."

Misa placed the flowers under her nose as if to smell them, successfully blocking the view of her mouth. "What does Rem mean?"

"L is here."

Misa stopped dead in her tracks for a moment, before forcing herself to slowly walk again. Her heart began to loudly pound. "Where?"

"Across from the apartment complex, in dark blue car with the tinted windows."

She tried to look to where Rem had located the detective without it being too obvious, but found herself too scared to get a good look. "Are you sure?"

"I know what the boy looks like," Rem answered, flatly. "And I know his name. The windows are pretty dark, but that can't stop me from looking inside the cars."

Misa quirked a brow. "Rem has been looking inside cars for Ryuuzaki-san?"

"For your Kira, actually," the shinigami admitted. "I trust him even less than I do L."

The girl snorted in response, but said nothing. Instead, she was trying to figure out a way to get into the building without Ryuuzaki noticing. She hadn't told him about her disguise during any of their phone calls, but she wouldn't put it past him to be smart enough to recognize her, anyway. Especially if he saw her walk into the complex he knew she lived in.

"What are you going to do, Misa?" Rem asked.

Without saying a word, Misa turned the corner of the block right before her building, and kept walking as if she had intended to go that way all along. As she moved, she spotted the side entrance of her apartment complex from across the road. There was no way she could go in there now without risking being spotted. She bit her lip, and kept going. Staying on a straight path, Misa crossed the street, then crossed again so that she was on the block right behind where her home was.

Instead of waiting at the corner where the crossing path was, Misa moved herself to the middle of the block, making it impossible for anyone to see her cross if they were trying to look for her from the front side of her complex. When the light turned red, Misa made a mad dash between stopped cars, and continued running into the back entrance of her building.

"Rem should go watch Ryuuzaki-san," Misa ordered, her mind racing. "I'll go change."

"Okay," was all Rem said, before the skeletal death god took off.

With her companion gone, Misa found herself panicking. The side entrance had been the perfect spot with the closet right there. She didn't have such a luxury where she was, and going to her apartment in her disguise would only cause her neighbors to realize what she'd been doing. And she had no doubts that some of them would gladly sell her out to the highest bidder. It was a wonder that none of them had ever leaked information about Ryuuzaki coming to visit her.

She began to feel her irritation over the situation grow. Was Ryuuzaki just there for a visit, had noticed she wasn't home, and decided to wait? Or was he actually spying on her? Misa didn't really like the latter idea. It meant that he had somehow already figured out that she'd been seeing Yagami Light, who Misa had no doubt was Ryuuzaki's top suspect for Kira. For good reason, Misa knew, but it didn't stop her from wishing that Ryuuzaki wasn't always so smart when it came to nearly everything. A part of her would've liked to chalk up his spying to Ryuuzaki being jealous. It was far more likely that he was simply trying to further his investigation.

She frowned at the thought. He could at least be a _little_ jealous.

"Stupid Ryuuzaki-san," she muttered, despite herself.

Thinning her lips, Misa walked hurriedly over to the back elevator, hitting the 'Up' button, and waited. Maybe if she was fast enough, she could change in the elevator. Only a few seconds into waiting, Rem came flying back in alarm.

"He's coming in," Rem alerted her, looking none too pleased.

Misa squeaked, clenching the stems of her flowers. What to do, what to do? Murmuring half to herself and half to Rem, a panicked Misa bolted up the stairs next to the elevator from the lobby level to the first floor, before running down the hallway to the front of the building at a speed that would've made a professional runner proud. Panting heavily, she skidded to a halt at the doors of the front elevator, and began to rapidly press the 'Up' button, as if hitting it repeatedly would make it appear faster.

Maybe, if she was lucky, it would reach her before Ryuuzaki entered the building and hit the elevator button himself on the floor below. If so, she'd ride it all the way to the top, doing her best to change on her way up. Her room wasn't at the top floor, but she figured the extra time would not only help in her change, but help delay Ryuuzaki's arrival. She'd simply make sure she pressed the button for her actual floor on the way down.

When the elevator finally appeared, Misa held her breath as the doors opened. She nearly whooped in victory when she saw that not only was it empty, but the arrow flashing indicated that it was going up. She'd beaten Ryuuzaki in time. But as she was about to go in, a terrible thought occurred to her. What if there were people on other floors who wanted to go up? The elevator would stop for them, and not only would they get to see Misa-Misa half naked as she floundered about trying to get her clothing on, but her disguise would be exposed.

With a cry of frustration, Misa reached inside the elevator, and proceeded to hit every single floor on the button panel, then stepped out to let it leave without her. Rem gave her a strange look, but the girl only shrugged. It would at least keep Ryuuzaki from using it for a few minutes.

"Misa will take the stairs," she said, not at all thrilled with the idea.

With that, she ran to the stairwell, and began the long ascent to her floor. Misa wasn't in bad shape. As a model, she tried her best to stay fit to look good for the camera. However, Misa's exercise regime was loose, at best. Tailored specifically to burn off what little calories she took in with her strict diet. The results were that while Misa looked good, after her eighth flight of stairs she was about ready to collapse.

She figured if she was going to stop to rest anyway, it was a good time as any to actually get off her disguise. After making sure she was the only one there (Rem didn't count), Misa hastily took off her sweater and long skirt, throwing them into her shoulder bag, while trying to get a short plaid skirt and laced tank top on practically at the same time. She nearly ripped her wig and cap off, sending bobby pins flying, but she didn't care much about the mess. She placed her fake glasses on top, took a hold of her bag and flowers, and began to run up the stairs once again, determined to not make any more stops until she got to her home.

Misa nearly stumbled out of the stairwell in exhaustion by the time she reached her floor, but she figured she'd made good time. She could only hope that her little trick with the elevator had given her the leeway that she'd needed. She looked down the hallway, and felt elation at seeing no one waiting at her door. With renewed energy, Misa bolted toward her apartment, nearly breaking her nails in her haste to unlock the door and get in.

Going nonstop, she tossed her flowers onto her kitchen counter, and ran to her room to throw her incriminating bag inside her closet. Doing so caused her to pass her mirror, and she shrieked with horror at her hair. All the movies where the women in disguise always revealed perfect hair when they took off their wigs were lies; her hair was knotty and matted against her skull in places, as if she hadn't gotten out of bed for two days. She grabbed her brush, and began combing through the tangled mess, ignoring the pain and random bobby pins that were still lodged in there. Even that didn't seem to help much, and a frazzled Misa was putting her locks into high pigtails just to do _something_ with the disaster when her doorbell finally rang.

Forcing herself to calm down, Misa deliberately walked slowly to her front door, and looked through the peephole as if she'd no idea who was on the other side. Naturally, a fish-eyed distortion of Ryuuzaki greeted her, and with trembling hands, Misa opened the door for him.

"Ryuuzaki-san!" she declared, smiling brightly as she grabbed him by his arm, and began tugging him into the apartment. "Misa wasn't expecting you. She'll make some tea."

Behind her, Rem had to admit that if she hadn't seen Misa's frantic flight, she'd never suspect it. Misa put on a happy, carefree facade with a flawless ease that was almost unsettling.

From his settled spot on the couch, Ryuuzaki turned himself around to watch Misa flutter about the kitchen. He didn't say anything, but Misa caught his eyes darting about, and for once she felt that maybe his curiosity wasn't that innocent. Still, she decided to play along.

"I don't have any sweets," she told him pointedly, giving him a stern frown. "Ryuuzaki-san doesn't visit often enough anymore."

Her statement caused him to frown disappointedly. "Well, I suppose that's to be expected," he replied, and she couldn't tell if he meant that by the lack of desserts, or by the lack of himself.

"If Ryuuzaki-san promised to start coming on Sundays again, he'd actually get treats," Misa offered, placing his tea and the sugar bowl on her coffee table, before sitting herself next to him.

He turned himself the proper way, and began to slowly deposit sugar cubes into his drink one by one. "Not possible," he said, flatly.

"Of course, not," she wrinkled her nose. "Ryuuzaki-san is too busy, has too many things to do, has other places to be... You don't have time for me. But Ryuuzaki-san visits, anyway." She elbowed him, slightly. "You make no sense."

He eyed her for a moment, before taking a careful sip of his overly sweet tea. "It's complicated, Misa-san."

"You're complicated," she told him with a sigh, placing her head on his shoulder. He stiffened at the moment of contact, then relaxed. "Ryuuzaki-san is too complicated for Misa."

"Should I not visit?" he asked, toneless.

"Misa never said that!" she backtracked. "I just wish you were easier to read." She turned a bit so that her chin rested on his shoulder. "Ryuuzaki-san should come with an instruction manual."

"Hmm," he murmured, dark eyes to her ceiling. "You're just as confusing as I am. In fact, I'd wager you're even more difficult to figure out."

"What? That's not true!" Misa straightened, annoyed. "Misa is very honest about what she thinks and feels."

"Really?" Ryuuzaki challenged. "Then, how do you explain why you use a persona for your stardom? Misa-Misa is infinitely more child-like than Misa-san. Misa-Misa also wears much more revealing outfits for public appearances and pictures. Also, there's your constant tense switching in your daily dialogue. Misa-san goes back and forth between third and first person, but Misa-Misa only speaks in third.  
"Misa-san and Misa-Misa are two different people, essentially," he concluded. "It's senseless."

Misa pouted, a bit flustered. Lots of idols exaggerated their behavior for their image. It wasn't fair for him to pick on her like that. "It is not! Misa-Misa is the idol of millions. She must be cute and perfect all the time! It's only normal for me to want to make sure that I don't disappoint fans. It's how you stay on top.  
"Besides," she frowned and crossed her arms, "what's so wrong with Misa-Misa?"

"Nothing, really. It's just," he began chewing on the pad of his thumb, "there's nothing wrong with Misa-san, either. In fact, I prefer her to Misa-Misa."

She felt her face warm with the comment. Smiling, Misa leaned against his arm, curling her own arms around it to give him a small hug. "Ryuuzaki-san really can be sweet when he wants to be."

He said nothing to that, choosing to finish his tea in relative silence, while Misa was content to hold on to him.

Not for the first time, Rem began to feel a bit like a voyeur, and rather remain in the room uncomfortably, chose to relocate herself into Misa's bedroom. If anything bad or strange were to happen, she was sure she'd hear about it in great length from Misa. Her partner was, if nothing else, thorough in her explanations.

When his drink was finally gone, Ryuuzaki sat still for a minute, before stirring Misa from her happy reverie with his forefinger tapping the side of the teacup.

Misa narrowed her eyes. "Ryuuzaki-san has to leave, doesn't he?"

If he was surprised at her observation, he didn't show it. "I'm afraid so," he answered.

With a sigh, she let go of his arm and sat up. There was no reason to complain or argue anymore. Ryuuzaki was going to go off and be L, spending the rest of the day trying to prove that Yagami Light was Kira. It was entirely unfair to her, but that didn't mean she could change what the reality was. She kept her head down, eyes focused on Ryuuzaki's bare feet, as he stood up to shuffle over and reclaim his battered shoes. She didn't really want to watch him leave again.

It was funny, she realized. Saying goodbye to Light earlier in the day had been easy. A simple wave and a smile, and she thought no more of it. But with Ryuuzaki, it was a completely different story. She was sure that when Light said he'd see her next week he'd be certain to be there. Ryuuzaki made no such promises, and if he ever did, there was never a guarantee that he'd keep it. The possibility of a visit being his last always loomed overhead, and when Misa made the mistake of dwelling on it, it suffocated her.

Her body moved of its own accord, slipping off of the couch, and walking straight over to where Ryuuzaki was. He made a small grunt of surprise when she reached up and seized his face, pulling his over slouched form down more. She had meant to kiss his lips. Quickly, maybe even just brush against them. But at the last second, she changed direction, and her lips pressed right beside his mouth. Misa was almost ashamed of her own cowardice, but the possibility of the bubble that was their delicate relationship bursting was all too great.

As it was, they were still in awkward position. She could hear Ryuuzaki take a sharp intake of breath, and he went utterly still. When she let him go, he jerked away, dark eyes wider than usual. To his credit, he collected himself rather quickly, his face regaining its usual blank expression, index finger placed between his teeth.

"I'll be going now," he said flatly, opening the door to leave.

"Ryuuzaki-san will call?" Misa asked in a small voice, as if talking too loud would do more damage than her impulsive behavior had already done.

"When I have the time, yes. Yes," he repeated, tone slightly reassuring. "I'll call."

Misa let out the breath she'd been holding, feeling the tension in her body lessen to a degree. "I'm glad."

"Mmm." Ryuuzaki paused in the doorway, turning just enough to look at her out of the corner of his eye. "By the way, Misa-san. Those are lovely flowers you have there."

"Hm?" Misa blinked, confused.

"The ones in your kitchen," he clarified. "Gardenias, are they not?"

"Oh, those," she nodded. "Yes. Misa likes them very much."

"You'd better put them in water soon," he advised. "Freshly picked flowers don't last long if you don't care for them properly."

"I know that," she said, frowning.

He smiled slightly in return. "Of course, you do. Enjoy your flowers, Misa-san." Without even a wave, he shut the door behind him.


	19. Perfect Blue

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.  
_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 15: Perfect Blue**

Much to Misa's delight and Rem's displeasure, Yagami Light became a frequent presence in Misa's life. While the idol never allowed him to come to her apartment (for many reasons), "Hikari" was more than able to meet up with him at designated places.

Restaurants, movies, even a fair once. They went to them all, and Misa was nearly delirious with happiness each time she came home. It was a freedom she had missed greatly with Ryuuzaki. With him, she was forced to be in only one place, her apartment. Whereas with Light, their only restrictions were their imaginations and the money in their wallets.

Rem, naturally, would express her distrust in the boy each and every time, which Misa would promptly ignore. It was at those moments that Rem wished the Ryuuzaki boy-- that L boy-- would show enough intelligence to actually do something around Misa besides sit and think. It wasn't that Rem liked Ryuuzaki. On the contrary, she quite hated him. It was just that she hated him less than Light. At least with Ryuuzaki, Rem was fairly certain that Misa's life wasn't in danger.

**ooooo**

The flower viewing festival. Misa hadn't been to one since her parents had died, as she had deliberately become too busy with her modeling career to get involved with anything that would remind her too much of past times. Still, she'd always loved going to them. The games and the shows were always fun, dizzying experiences that Misa used to get caught up in. Even Mamori would loosen up, and allow herself to be dragged along at Misa's amusement.

So when Light had offered to take her to one, Misa had practically jumped at the chance.

She arrived at the festival in high spirits, feeling particularly pretty in the pink yukata she'd chosen. It had taken her all morning to put on properly --she wasn't used to dressing in traditional clothing without her mother's help, even the simpler forms-- but she thought she looked rather good in it. Even Hikari was allowed to be cute once in a while. However, considering Light's character and mindset, Misa expected to see him in more modern clothing. Naturally, it took her by surprise when he greeted her in a blue yukata, a genuine expression of discomfort on his face.

"My mother insisted," was his murmured explanation, before he offered her his arm to escort her around.

"I think you look very handsome," Misa assured him, with a shy smile. Hikari no longer stuttered around Light, she had decided. By now she should be at ease around him.

He smiled his too easy smile that fooled Misa each time, and said, "I'll take your word for it, then. Come on," he gave her a little tug. "The taiko should start soon. You wanted to see them, right?"

"Yes!" she declared, shuffling as quickly as she could with geta on, childlike glee nearly overwhelming her.

This is what a real date was like, Misa decided as they made it to the outside concert. Spending time away from the same place with four walls. Going out in public, and enjoying each other's company, and not feeling like you're hiding from the world. Being able to wrap her arms around his waist, and not expecting him to flinch, or voice unhappiness at their closeness. In fact, Light would often reach over and place a hand over one of her own.

And when he did so during the drums, Misa sighed contentedly, and leaned against his arm. It felt a little weird, she thought. He was better built than Ryuuzaki, and possibly a little shorter. She didn't feel quite as comfortable in this position as she normally did, and she wished he leaned forward a little more so he didn't tower over her so much. Not that Ryuuzaki slouched to accommodate her, but it was rather convenient.

Still, she didn't find it fair to compare them regarding matters that neither could really help, nor ever change. Misa was too busy comparing them in other ways, even if she was too enveloped in her happy bubble to notice it.

The parade was next, and while Misa cheered and grinned and pointed, Light would sigh and smile and nod. It was enough to make Rem, who followed the entire time, want to rip her own wings off. The boy was so fake she wondered if he was made of plastic. If Misa wasn't so besotted over what he'd done for her, Rem somehow doubted her partner really would've given such a dull young man barely a glance.

"Ryuuk," the pale shinigami glared at creature next to her. "I'm not expecting you to reply. I wouldn't want to ruin your _fun_," she spat. "But, I must admit I'm rather surprised. He seems like such a bore. I can't imagine why you haven't killed him yet."

The leather clad death god chuckled a bit as an answer, but didn't look her way.

Rem frowned. Ryuuk was a lower rank than she; more ignorant, too. Which was his own fault, really. He had always been too impulsive, and never spent much time learning the ways, or even caring about them. She'd always wondered how much higher in the ranks he'd been if he'd bothered. It was a thought that put her ill at ease many a time.

Possible genius aside though, she was still higher than he, and she could be as intimidating as the next god if she wanted to be. And, for Misa, she'd be the most frightening shinigami around.

Glowering, Rem swooped toward Ryuuk, and hissed in his ear, "If you don't want to talk to me in front of your new play thing, then I suggest we find some place we can talk. Or, I can simply keep speaking directly in your ear the entire time, and you'll miss all the entertainment for the day. I'll even stand in front of you, so you can't see," she added with a sneer.

For a moment it seemed that Ryuuk decided to ignore the threat. Then, without so much as a grunt, he spread his inky feathered wings, and took flight. Rem followed. He landed at the nearest building top, which was more than enough distance to still keep watch on the two humans without the threat of being heard.

"You're a real buzz killer," he remarked as the female shinigami landed next to him.

"I'm sorry," she replied, not really meaning it nor expecting him to believe it.

He didn't. "I don't get what your problem is, anyway," Ryuuk leaned over the roof, chuckling as he watched Misa lead Light over to some shade underneath a sakura tree.

"I'm just curious," Rem said, her tone even. "It's just that the boy seems so very bland. Not your style, at all. Certainly, you could've picked someone better suited for your amusement."

"Picked someone?" he repeated, laughing hard. He turned to her, and smiled with all his sharp teeth showing. "I didn't pick anyone. I just dropped the Note, and he just picked it up."

Rem blinked. "You... didn't chose him?"

"Of course, not," Ryuuk shrugged. "If I had, I would've known what I was getting in to. And where's the fun in that?"

Her dislike of the death god next to her intensified. This really was nothing more than a game to him. Something to pass the time. And while Rem wouldn't normally care about the situation of the humans that milled about the earth, it was an all together different matter with Misa involved. Truthfully, the rest of humanity could fend for itself. But Misa? Rem would kill for Misa.

Rem tried a different tactic. "But, certainly you're bored by now. The boy is completely uninteresting. Run of the mill, I'd say."

Ryuuk's smile widened, if possible. "He looks that way, doesn't he? But that's the fun part." He leaned over the roof again, long nails clicking against the cement edge. "It's all a facade. He's a giant fake. The boy knows exactly what people want him to do and say, and he does and says it. And while he gives them what they want, he goes back to his perfect little house, where he has the perfect little family that adores him, goes up to his perfect little room, and proceeds to spend the rest of the night killing the perfect little amount of people.  
"He's really good at it," Ryuuk continued. "Better than some shinigami I know. Doesn't even hesitate. Gets off on it, I'd say."

"So, you're happy with him," Rem concluded.

"_With_ him? Nah," he snorted. "Don't give a damn about him. But he sure is entertaining!"

"And what is he doing to... entertain you now?" she asked, glancing at him warily.

"You know what," he returned the stare. "He's playing with your human."

"Why?"

"You know why." A sigh, like a parent frustrated with a stubborn child. "She knew L's other name. The one he's been using outside the school. Light picked that up immediately. He's quick like that."

Rem frowned. "So?"

"So, Light can't kill L without his real name. And now your personal human seems to be his best bet at it. You connect the dots."

"Does he know that she has a Death Note?" Rem asked.

"That would ruin the fun," was his clipped response. "Though, I'm sure you ruined the surprise for her."

"I didn't have to. She did the eye trade."

"She did?" Ryuuk's grin re-immerged. "I like her!"

"She knows L's real name, but I doubt she'll ever tell it," Rem said. "Misa's not that foolish."

"Well, that's a shame," he said, false concern on his taught face. "She'll die a lot quicker if Light doesn't think she's useful."

A snarl passed Rem's lip before she could think. _"I'll kill him first."_

Ryuuk turned to her slowly, a gleam in his eyes. "Really? Willing to die?"

"If necessary," she admitted, deciding there was no turning back.

He laughed, his wings extending. "And you're supposed to be the smart one. Or maybe you're braver," he added, contemplative. "Eh. Who cares?"

Without looking back, Ryuuk simply fell off the roof, using his wings to glide over to the two humans that he and Rem were contracted to. Rem quickly followed suit, more determined than ever to not let Misa out of her sight.

The two descending shinigami caused the sakura petals to cascade off the tree Misa and Light were under. They scattered about, dancing around the two in such a flurry that Misa actually raised her hands up to block the pastel assault.

Suddenly her world turned blue, as Light bent his arm over her head, successfully shielding her with the sleeve of his yukata. With a yelp of surprise, Misa leaned back, her head hitting against Light's chest. His sleeve remained covering her view, and when Misa looked up, she could see the sunlight filtering through the fabric, illuminating it to a bright cerulean. Carefully, she lifted the veiling sleeve away to watch the final petals fly off into the distance, marking a blue sky that had perfectly matched Light's yukata only moments before.

"Pretty," she cooed wistfully, unconsciously settling herself against an unprotesting Light.

He finally lowered his arm, placing it comfortably around Misa's waist, and the girl was all too willing to concede to the intimacy.

The peacefulness of the moment was shattered by the shrill ring of Misa's cell phone tucked away in her small purse.

Tentatively, she fished it out, expecting it to be either her manager or Mamori, as she had a lot of photo shoots to finalize with the former and hadn't spoken recently with the latter. Either way, she was planning on sending it straight to voicemail, and turning off her phone like she had forgotten to before meeting up with Light.

It was unsurprising, then, that Misa felt rather ill to her stomach and light headed when the call came up as an unidentified caller. Misa had a phone with a private line due to the nature of her business. There was only one person it could be, and he was the last person she wanted to deal with at the moment. She reached for the side button to silence the call.

"Who's that, Hikari-san?" Light asked, making her jump a little.

"N-no one," she answered, her stuttering honest for once. "It's no one."

"Really?" He leaned over her shoulder, questioning eyes on the phone in her hand.

A smile graced his face so coldly, that for the first time Misa actually felt a shiver a fear tingle down her spine. It was so sudden and strong, that she had to convince herself that it was merely the situation that was scaring her, and not the young man she was sitting with. Still, her body froze with dread, and the cell continued to ring like a death null.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Light queried, the smooth smile not dissipating.

"I'd rather not," Misa said, meekly.

"Oh. That's okay, then. Honestly," Light reached over and pressed the button to quiet the phone, "I'd rather spend the day uninterrupted with you, anyway."

And just like that, the fright that had overcome her vanished like it never existed. Misa suddenly felt foolish at her overreaction to the situation. After all, she had no doubt that Light was smart, but there was no possible way he could know for sure who was calling her.

"Me, too," she smiled, relaxing.

He pulled her close then, arms wrapped tightly around her tiny shoulders. Giddy again, Misa snuggled into the embrace, as she played with the perfect blue sleeves that contrasted against her pink ensemble. The birds sang, and petals flew gently around them, and Misa could just make out Rem's disgusted sigh behind them. Everything was back to the way it should be. She basked in the tranquility of it all.

"After all," Light whispered in her ear, voice an octave lower than usual, "I have so much to learn about you. Don't I, Misa-san?"


	20. The Sound of Waves

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 29: The Sound of Waves**

The air around Misa felt hot and sticky. Far too humid for the breezy spring day that it was. Her lips parted with a tremble, voice caught in her suddenly constricted throat. Behind her, with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, Light smiled serenely.

"Anything wrong, Misa-san?" he asked softly, innocently. "You look pale."

Misa forced herself to swallow the painful lump of fear that was threatening to choke her. "I-I'm sorry?" she began, scattered nerves trying to come back together and keep her act up. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Light stared at her hard for a moment, making her panic rise some more, before he laughed pleasantly. "I should apologize," he said sheepishly, his eyes warm again. "That was a bit sudden, wasn't it? I knew I should've tried a different approach. I guess," he grinned, embarrassed, "I better explain myself."

Misa blinked owlishly at his abrupt change of behavior. "Eh?"

**ooooo**

"So, Light-san knew that Misa was Misa from the beginning?" Misa concluded, as the two walked around the gardens of the festival.

"Pretty much," Light admitted, kicking a stone along the path in front of him. "I saw you in disguise one day at the cafe after a study session with friends, and I recognized you from your magazine ads."

"Light-san reads the magazines Misa-Misa is in?" she asked, honestly befuddled by the notion of someone like Light buying magazines targeted for teenaged girls.

"My sister, actually," he corrected. "But she gushes about you, and you are pretty popular around my campus now. It wasn't too hard to figure out who you were when you caught my eye."

"Hmmmm," Misa frowned, fingering her short black wig. "And I thought my disguise was really good."

Light laughed, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. It's a really great disguise. Honest. I suppose I'm just more observant than other people."

Misa suspected his claim to be truer to the mark than he cared to admit. After all, she was fairly certain he knew who Ryuuzaki really was, too. Speaking of which, she was waiting to see if Light would mention the many named detective soon, or if he was planning on saving that tidbit of information for a later time.

It seemed that _later_ was in Light's itinerary. "Anyway, I couldn't help but introduce myself to you. I mean, how often do you get the chance to spend time with an up and coming idol?"

Grinning, Misa quipped, "You're not a stalker. Are you, Light?"

He looked at her bemused, either by her remark or her sudden lack formality. "Huh?"

She giggled. "Kidding, kidding! Misa knows that Light isn't like that."

He laughed nervously in return. "I suppose I did kind of give that impression, didn't I?"

"It's okay," she assured him. "It's flattering. Every idol dreams of having handsome fans."

He stuttered a bit at the compliment. "Oh, well-"

"Besides," she interrupted, leaning forward to whisper, "Misa knows she's safe with Light. Right?"

He looked down at her for a long moment, before a slow smile appeared on his face. "Of course, you are," he replied, a little too smoothly. Misa failed to noticed the insincerity.  
"Well, since it's all out in the open now, I suppose we should start all over again." He cleared his throat, and warmly said, "Hi. My name's Yagami Light. And yours?"

She hesitated for a moment. It was silly, she knew. He was fully aware of what her real name was, so there was no reason to hide it. Besides, he was Kira. He was her hero.

And he was the man who wanted L dead. Her Ryuuzaki dead. And Misa was very sure at this moment that there was so much more underneath the surface of Yagami Light that he would probably never show her. Things that were filled with sharp edges, and dangerous to the touch. He was also lying. Lying to her now, and the back of her mind --the part that told her that sometimes her heart was _wrong_, no matter how right it felt-- was screaming at her to stop this before it went too far. But it had already gone too far, she reminded herself, and the only thing left to do was to see it through to the end.

Besides, wasn't Ryuuzaki so terribly similar to his opponent? Just how many secrets did Detective L keep? She found it doubtful that he was entirely truthful to anyone; a web of lies that defined his life and career. It kept him safe, but left her straining to recover the trust she once had. If Misa was honest, and not blinded by sheer loyalty on one side, and emotional attachment on the other, she would've admitted that neither man was particularly trustful. But that wasn't the case, as Misa was an emotional, impulsive creature by nature.

Light wouldn't hurt her, she told herself. Kira would never hurt her. Kira had protected her. And, as long as she played the fool, Kira would never hurt Ryuuzaki. It would be okay. She'd make sure of it.

With a deep breath, Misa returned Light's smile. "Hi. I'm Amane Misa."

**ooooo**

The next time Misa and Light met was at the beach. While it was still too cold to swim (and Misa honestly didn't think her wig would handle sea water very well), it was quite pleasant enough for a somewhat private lunch on the sand.

Once again, most of the meal was store bought, save anything that involved sugar. It was an irony that Misa joked about with Light, and he responded with laughter that never met his eyes. However, Misa had tried her best to make a few onigiri, and they hadn't turned out to be a total disaster. Still nowhere near her mother's skill, but at least this batch didn't make her stomach turn the moment the rice touched her tongue.

As she nibbled halfheartedly on her homecooked food, Misa's thoughts drifted. She hadn't heard a word from Ryuuzaki since the time she had most likely hung up on him at the festival. She wondered if he'd been offended. She'd never ignored one of his phone calls before. But then, Misa realized, that she was entitled not to always kowtow to his whims. Their relationship had always been on his terms; they met when he wanted, and where he wanted. They talked only when it was convenient to him, even if that was in the middle of the night.

And not once had Misa protested the arrangement. Even though it was entirely unfair for her, she went along with it without questions. Misa concluded that it just never occurred to her to do so. She was slightly perplexed at herself. She usually liked things her way, and yet always caved when it came to Ryuuzaki. Perhaps, it could be contributed to how desperate she was for company at the beginning of their relationship. Any sort of comfort, even Ryuuzaki's awkward. almost haphazard kind was better than nothing. And then, she had gotten so used to it just being that way that she never thought of the absurdity of it all.

Now that she had indirectly told him "no" once, now that she had given him a tiny hint that sometimes he couldn't get what he wanted, he was suddenly going to give her the cold shoulder. One missed phone call, and she gets ignored for weeks. How immature.

Misa frowned. Ryuuzaki could be such a jerk.

"I don't think your food is _that_ bad," Light said, interrupting her train of thought.

She blinked, startled. "Hm?"

"You just looked really upset now," he told her, smiling slightly. "You were staring at your onigiri like you wanted to throw it across the beach."

Misa blushed furiously. "Sorry! Misa's mind was on other things. It won't happen again, honest!"

Light laughed, then shook his head and said reassuringly, "It's all right. I understand, really. You're not the only one in the world with a lot on their mind."

She didn't doubt that. She couldn't imagine the pressure he must be under at the moment. Especially knowing how close Ryuuzaki-- _L_ possibly was to the truth.

"Besides," he continued, "this is the perfect place to think. Especially at this time of year, since it's so quiet."

Misa agreed, eyes focusing on the ocean. The wind was beginning to pick up, causing the sea water to start churning with greater force. The smell of salt and sand renewed itself in the air with each crashing wave, and Misa suspected that she could be lulled into dreams from the sound of water hitting earth and then rushing away again.

"I wonder how long it'll be before the beach is too crowded to come anymore," she said, listlessly.

"It should warm up in a few weeks," Light remarked. "It'll be filled with people, then. I don't see why you still can't go, though. As long as you wear your disguise no one will bother you."

She shook her head in disagreement. "It's not that. Misa knows that she'd probably be okay, but it still makes Misa nervous. You never know what might happen." It didn't help matters that Misa still became lightheaded when too many people swarmed around her, all letters and numbers flashing above their heads in bright, eye piercing red. It was easier to avoid situations that might make her panic.

"I suppose," he relented. Then, he brightened. "I could always go with you once, if that would make you feel better."

Misa felt her face grow warm again. The thought of Light in a bathing suit made her feel slightly giddy. She wondered if he tanned well. "I-I'll think about it."

He smiled at her, and opened his mouth to reply. However, the telltale ring of a phone pierced the air. For once, it wasn't Misa reaching to answer, but Light, as he fished his cell phone from out of his pocket to retrieve it.

"Hello?" he answered. Misa watched as his spine straightened just slightly, eyes darting around for just a moment. "You want me there now?" he said, turning away from her. "Well, no. Nothing important." Misa huffed; she never seemed to be important to the men in her life. "Really? Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there." Hanging up, he looked back at her apologetically. "Sorry about that. Something came up with my father. It seems we'll have to postpone this for another time."

She frowned, disappointed, but then shrugged and smiled the best she could. "That's okay. Misa understands."

While Light helped her clean up, Misa did not fail to notice the covert looks he was giving across the beach. She wondered if he thought someone was watching them, and it made her anxious to leave. However, when everything was packed up, Light informed her they'd have to part ways then and there.

"I'm really very sorry," he said, sheepishly. "But I'm heading in the opposite direction of your apartment, and I'm in a bit of a rush."

He looked so sorry, that Misa caved instantly. "Don't worry. I can get home by myself."

He flashed her a quick grin. "Thanks, Misa-san."

She tsked, shaking her index finger at him. "No 'san!' Misa is Misa to Light, okay?"

His grin remained. "Okay. Misa."

He turned away then, and walked a few paces, before halting. Misa stared at him, confused, as he stood there silently for a few moments. Suddenly, he turned around, and with a determined stride walked back to her. Without a word, he eliminated the gap between them, his hand on her chin, and his lips against hers. Misa's thoughts scattered, ran back together again, and then shattered like glass. He was kissing her, actually kissing her. She was kissing Kira, and _oh,_ she didn't think she could breathe anymore, but what a wonderful way to die.

And just like that it was over. He mumbled another soft goodbye in her ear and went on his way, leaving Misa trembling. As she watched his receding form, she felt a mixture of highs and lows. Euphoria over the intimacy of the moment; how many people could claim that they had a kiss stolen by their hero? It was almost like a dream. However, a nagging feeling kept gnawing at her gut. Guilt or shame. Possibly both. Because really, all the sacrifices she had made to discover Kira had all been for Ryuuzaki, hadn't they? Because it was Ryuuzaki who made Misa happiest. This was all supposed to be for Ryuuzaki.

And Misa wondered to herself, had that goal changed?

**ooooo**

Sunday morning began typically enough. Misa had run herself a bubble bath, explaining to Rem that a girl should pamper herself at least once a week. When Rem remarked that Misa seemed to pamper herself quite often with all her shopping and special treatment at photo shoots, the girl had stuck her tongue out childishly and told her partner those things didn't really count. Idols were supposed to act the part, after all. Rem wasn't so convinced.

Misa was still towel drying her hair (she heard hair dryers damaged hair, and Misa-Misa could not have split ends), when someone began to knock on her door. The rhythmic sound made her heart flutter a bit, and she nearly ran to the door to open it. She only hesitated when it dawned on her that she was still wrapped only in a towel, and how embarrassing it would be to be seen in it. Then again, she reminded herself, the person on the other side of the door was anything but normal, and would probably not act even remotely like any other man his age. She doubted he'd even care.

With a sigh, she opened her door to the sight of Ryuuzaki chewing on the tip of his thumb. He looked rather bemused by her appearance, his dark eyes roaming down and then resting on the pink towel she had wrapped around her. Well, she amended, maybe he _would_ care. Still...

"Pervert!" she snapped, turning red.

He looked back up at her, completely nonplussed. "Did I come at a bad time, Misa-san?"

She sighed again, stepping aside to let him no. "No. Give Misa a moment to get dressed, okay. And Ryuuzaki-san better not peek!" she added.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he answered in such a flat tone that she couldn't tell if he was being truthful or lewd. "Actually, may I suggest that you dress a little nicely today?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying I don't dress nicely?"

"No, of course not. It's just that my plans would be facilitated if you dressed appropriately," he explained vaguely.

Misa raised a brow. "Plans?"

"Yes. Plans."

"What sort of plans?"

"Plans to go out."

She stared. "Out?"

"Yes. Out."

Misa leaned forward a bit. "As in, out of Misa's apartment?"

"That is part of my plans for the day," Ryuuzaki admitted.

She leaned forward more. "Ryuuzaki-san actually wants to take Misa out? In public? Really?"

He frowned a little at her aggression. "Yes."

She looked at him, suspiciously. "This sounds weird. You better not be lying to me."

He grunted, annoyed. "Misa-san, are you trying to make me change my mind?"

She backed up a bit, waving the hand that wasn't tightly holding her covering. "No! I'll go change now. Just wait right here." Misa ran to her open bedroom, only to lean out a bit, so her head and shoulders were the only things exposed from behind the door. "Remember: No peeking!"

Ryuuzaki sighed with mild irritation. "I already told you I-- !" He made a sound somewhere between a choked gasp and a cry as Misa's pink towel landed squarely on his face, and Misa giggled mischievously before closing her door behind her.

There was a moment of silence before Ryuuzaki said, almost pleadingly, "Don't make me regret this decision, Misa-san."

She giggled some more. "Of course not, Ryuuzaki-san! Misa wouldn't ever do anything that Ryuuzaki-san would regret."

An unintelligible mumble was the only response.


	21. Candy

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 23: Candy**

Misa had been unsure of how to dress for this impromptu outing with Ryuuzaki. Obviously, wearing her disguise was out of the question; he'd possibly spotted her wearing it before, and she didn't want him to make a connection. Though, she couldn't help but wonder how comfortable a man who was known by most people as the world's greatest detective would be out in public. Considering how many identities he probably had (Misa could count three she knew, and guessed many more were left unspoken), revealing himself didn't seem to be something he was too pleased with.

Still, he had told her to dress nicely, and that she would do. Misa flung outfits out of her closet, holding them up to Rem's inspection and silently asking for approval or otherwise. Rem herself was rather befuddled by the request. She didn't know fashion --shinigami had no use of such human frivolities-- and for Misa to expect her to be of any help was rather silly. However, Rem was also flattered that her partner would include her in something that Misa obviously found important; Rem had noted everything about Ryuuzaki was something Misa found important.

Ultimately, Misa had stepped out of her room in long blue dress with black lace and ribbons wrapping around it. It was the closest thing to elegance Misa had in her childish, Gothic closet, and she hoped it would do. She looked expectantly at Ryuuzaki, but received only a small nod before he told her to follow him, and walked out of the apartment. He completely missed her sticking her tongue out at him in frustration.

The black limousine waiting for them was a pleasant surprise, though Misa's excitement was dampened considerably when Ryuuzaki let himself into the car without helping her inside first. She climbed in with a bit of a pout on her face, then frowned fully when she saw him perched on the leather seat next to her.

"Must Ryuuzaki-san sit like that all the time?" she demanded sourly, adjusting her skirt as the car began to move.

"Yes," he answered. "I'm not comfortable otherwise."

"You'll fall," Misa commented.

"Of course I won't," Ryuuzaki assured her.

"And why did you tell Misa to get dressed up when you're still dressed like that?" she asked, appraising his wrinkled white shirt and dirty jeans.

"Because you always care to dress nicely depending on where you're traveling," he answered with a slight shrug. "I just don't care. However, I thought you'd feel more at ease if you dressed for the occasion, as you like to do."

Misa huffed a little, but said nothing else. Instead, she focused her attention on the dark glass that separated them from the driver. All the windows of the car were darkly tinted, and the separation window was no exception. She wondered if the person driving them was a regular chauffeur that Ryuuzaki had hired for the day, or if he was someone who actually worked regularly for him. She suspected the latter to be true. She doubted that he put his trust in many people, even if it was for a short period of time.

That thought made Misa's mind wander to a dark place where her doubts and fears nestled. Just how much did Ryuuzaki trust her, if at all? Even though they'd known each other for quite a while, he still hadn't told her the truth, nor did it look like he ever would. It was because of the fact that he'd never told her who he really was that she had even contemplated trading for the Shinigami Eyes, let alone actually agreeing to it. If she had known she never would've done such a thing.

If she had known... Maybe she never would've followed Kira, even if he had avenged her parents. While Kira was her hero, Ryuuzaki was... Well, he was something else entirely. He was Misa's precious person, even with all his quirks and faults. If he had told her he was L, then she probably would've supported his stance in the Kira case, regardless of her parents. Maybe. She had loved her parents so.

But that never happened. Instead, he had continued to deceive her, going so far as to give her not only a false name, but tricking her sister as well. She still remembered the paperwork that Mamori had sworn had not had the name of a Detective Ryuuzaki Hideo on them. And then how it had mysteriously appeared in all the files Mamori had, sending the older Amane sister into fits of confusion and rage. It made sense to Misa now. Ryuuzaki- _L_ had plenty of power. Breaking into someone's house and switching paperwork was probably a ho-hum chore to him.

And still, Misa could've forgiven him if he simply ever told her who he really was. But he had yet to do so, and that lack of trust broke her heart. Didn't her open affection mean anything to him?

The limousine lurched to a halt, and Misa's head snapped up to attention at the abrupt stop. Ryuuzaki, who hadn't even teetered a little, got up and out of the car, again leaving Misa unattended. The girl glowered darkly, and opened her mouth to finally speak her annoyance, but the sound of the front passenger window rolling down stopped her. From inside the limo she could hear a loud, distinct cough coming from the front where the driver was. Ryuuzaki turned around, and looked at the open window questioningly for a few moments, before looking back at Misa still in the car.

With obvious discomfort at the unfamiliar movement, Ryuuzaki reached his hand out to her. "...Do you need help, Misa-san?" he asked.

She looked at his outstretched hand, and back at his slightly uncertain face. Somehow, Misa had the feeling he'd never done this before, and it pleased her a little to know she had the privilege to the be the first. She smiled as her hand clasped his. "Thank you, Ryuuzaki-san." Misa heard a pleased grunt coming from the front of the car and the window raise shut, as he helped her out of the car.

As she got to her feet, Misa barely had time to orient herself properly before Ryuuzaki ushered her into a building. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes were the first thing she noticed. The next was the pastel colors that filled the room, and then the display cases filled with various confections.

"A bakery?" Misa blinked.

"The best one in town," Ryuuzaki informed her, an eager look on his face.

She still didn't understand. "We're going to pick up something and leave?" _That_ was his idea of going out? She was sorely disappointed.

"Nonsense." He motioned her to follow. "We're going to be eating here."

Hesitantly, Misa shadowed Ryuuzaki behind the counter and through the brightly colored curtain into the back room. The smell of baked goods was even stronger as they filtered past the kitchen area. Misa began to feel very out of place, and shuffled a step faster to keep close to Ryuuzaki, who seemed to know exactly where he was going. Once out of the kitchen, it opened up into a small room that had probably once been used for storage, but was converted to a quaint sitting room, complete with a white round table and just as pristine chairs. Misa also noted that the room's one window conveniently had its blinds down, even though it was still bright and sunny out.

Ryuuzaki moved as if to sit down, but thought better of it, instead rather awkwardly offering a chair to Misa first. While Misa settled herself in, she watched Ryuuzaki kick off his shoes, and crouch on top of his chair just like he always did. She sighed inwardly, admitting to herself that it was a bit much to expect that he would act any differently just because they were in public. Though, Misa wasn't quite sure she could call their setting 'public.'

"Where are we, exactly?" She asked, curious.

"The back parlor of the bakery," Ryuuzaki answered. "The owners are a married couple that live above the store. They like to eat back here sometimes. I asked them if it would be all right if I procured it for a day."

Misa raised a brow. "And they were okay with that?"

He smiled a little. "I'm a very good customer."

A frail wisp of a woman walked in then. Old and wrinkled, with her salt and pepper hair tied in a low bun, she gave the two youngsters a warm smile. _Yoshizawa Ayumi_ floated above her head in bright red, and Misa did her best not to stare at the dwindling numbers below it. She did, however, notice the tiny woman giving her an extra long glance, before coming over to them with a delicate sheet that listed the pastries they could order. For a moment Misa pondered if the woman recognized her, but then dismissed it. Misa-Misa was not in magazines or shows that would interest the woman before her. It was far more likely that she was simply wondering about the two of them, which she couldn't really blame her for. Misa was sure she and Ryuuzaki looked very strange together.

Unsurprisingly, Ryuuzaki didn't even need to look at the list, and happily proceeded to tick off the various deserts he wished for. Mostly slices of specialty cakes, though he added a few brownies and a bag of rock candy to leave with. Misa felt sick simply by listening to him, even though she had no doubt that he would manage to eat it all before they left. Which was probably what was making her sick to begin with. Truly, no one should be able to eat (and live to tell the tale) the way Ryuuzaki did.

When the woman turned to Misa, the model hesitated. "Misa doesn't really eat many sweets," she said sheepishly, not wanting to insult their hostess.

"Really now?" the old woman tapped her chin, then smiled. "Well then, how about I choose something for you?"

"O-okay," Misa agreed. She supposed that one treat couldn't do her weight that much harm, and her parents had always taught her to be polite to strangers.

The woman's smile widened. "I know just the thing! A sweet little cupcake for a sweet young lady, yes?" And before Misa could say anything in reply, the store owner bounded off as cheerfully as her tiny body would let her.

"She seems nice," Misa commented.

"Yes," Ryuuzaki agreed, nibbling on this forefinger. "She and her husband are good people."

"Mmmm. Hey, Ryuuzaki-san?" she prompted. "Why did you take Misa here?"

"It's my favorite eatery," he answered, and Misa didn't doubt the odd statement for a moment. She'd learned that Ryuuzaki's sweet tooth had no limits. "I thought it would be nice to share it with you. Also, this room gives us ample privacy; I seem to recall you complaining that you weren't getting much recently."

"That's true," she admitted. "That's very sweet of you, Ryuuzaki-san." Though, Misa had the distinct impression that it wasn't just _her_ privacy that he was concerned about.

The old woman reappeared from behind the curtain, this time with a silver tray holding two pots, two porcelain cups, and a sugar bowl. From out behind her an old man that, from the name above him, Misa figured was her husband followed with another tray carrying their food. As the woman arranged the cups and pots on the table, Misa wryly noted how she had placed the nearly overflowing bowl of sugar next to Ryuuzaki. Yes, Misa assumed that this wasn't the first time he had ever asked to use the room in the back of the bakery.

"You like tea, dear, yes?" the woman asked her, holding up one pot. "Ryuuzaki-san told me that you preferred it to coffee."

Misa blinked owlishly. It was true that she had a distaste for coffee, which is why whenever Ryuuzaki visited she'd always make them tea. However, she never thought he'd ever really notice it, or even keep such a fact in the back of his mind for an occasion like this. It was flattering. A smile broke out on Misa's face. "Yes, that's true."

"Good," said the hostess, as she poured her a cup, before taking the other pot to pour Ryuuzaki some coffee.

The old man, much taller than his wife, silently but contentedly served them their food, placing various plates in front of Ryuuzaki, and a single cupcake for Misa. Wordless, he smiled and bowed, before helping his wife out of the room. Misa watched them go wistfully. They seemed like a happy couple. She wondered if her parents would've grown old like that. She wondered if she would.

Ryuuzaki, on the other hand, paid them no mind as he eagerly took his first forkful of a chocolate cake. Misa couldn't help but be somewhat envious of his seemingly endless stomach. Also, she had noticed during her time with him that there was a difference between him eating everyday candy, and something homemade. He truly appreciated when something was baked with care, a small smile always playing on his lips when he tasted that sort of treat.

Curious, she couldn't help but ask, "Are they as good as Misa's?"

His chewing stopped for a moment, and she could practically see the wheels in his mind turn. Usually, Ryuuzaki would just blurt out the truth without thinking about whether or not it would upset her. But this time his answer could very well mean that she'd never bake for him again. Clearly, tact was required for once. "Misa-san cooks different things than what I order here," he responded, carefully. "But I do like your cooking very much. It suits me perfectly."

She pursed her lips. Of course, it would. Baking deserts was the only thing she was good at. Still, she decided to let it go for the moment. Looking down a the pink frosting on her cupcake, Misa wondered out loud, "Would Ryuuazki-san consider this our first date?"

"Hmmm?" he murmured, not showing any shock at the question.

"It's just that Misa has been thinking about it since you asked her to go out today." She held up the pastry for a closer inspection. It was decorated with red crystal sprinkles, and the smell was enticing. Maybe one small bite... "I thought that this would be our first date, but then I realized that we've been seeing each other for a long time. Even if Ryuuzaki-san's visits aren't consistent."

"Busy," he muttered his usual defense between mouthfuls of strawberry cake.

"So, Misa decided that this is definitely not our first date. Or even our second. In fact, I've lost count on what this would be. It's just the first time you've ever taken me out." With an exaggerated sigh, Misa took a small lick of her cupcake's icing. It was as delicious as it smelled. "Really, Ryuuzaki-san is a very frustrating boyfriend."

It was that last word that made the man across from her nearly choke on the piece of cheesecake he had just shoveled into his mouth. Misa watched through hooded eyes as Ryuuzaki tried as nonchalantly as possible to grab his coffee cup, and take a long, _long_ sip of it.

Experimentally, Misa took a bite of the desert she held. Well, she had his full attention now, didn't she? "Anything wrong, Ryuuzaki-san?" she asked, feigning innocence. "Is the cheesecake bad? Misa will make you one the next time you visit if you'd like."

"No, no," he shook his head, very quickly composing himself. "It's quite good, actually. You should try some."

"No, thank you. Misa is quite happy with her cupcake." To prove it, she took another nibble. "Still, I'm very glad that we finally went out. It's nice to know that Misa is important enough that Ryuuzaki-san would do something he usually wouldn't."

"Well, Misa-san is very important," he responded offhandedly, settling back to his variety of cakes.

Misa's heart fluttered at the unexpected compliment, and her smile was suddenly radiant. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"Really?" Ryuuzaki asked, unconvinced. "I believe I've said more flattering things in past conversations."

"Lots of people call Misa-Misa pretty," she countered. "Only Ryuuzaki-san has called her important."

If he pondered it at all he gave no indication, but instead continued to eat his food. Realizing that he was cutting the conversation short and that pushing the subject would send her good mood spiraling downward, Misa opted to finish her cupcake. She had to admit, it was the most delicious thing she'd eaten in months.

Regardless of his sudden reluctance to speak, Misa felt her demeanor brighten considerably. Her doubts began to dissipate in the warm atmosphere of the room they shared. Yes, Ryuuzaki still wasn't telling her the truth as to who he was, but that didn't necessarily mean that he distrusted her. He could very well be protecting her. Telling her the truth would probably endanger her life somehow, and he wouldn't want that. After all, he did call her important. And you always protected those what were special to you. That's what she'd been trying to do with Ryuuzaki this entire time. It made perfect sense that he'd do the same.

They left the bakery a while later, this time Ryuuzaki actually remembering to offer Misa assistance into the waiting limousine. She suppressed a grin at his eyes darting to the front window as he did so. The ride back to her apartment was quieter than she'd hoped, and she decided that she needed to change that as he walked her back to her door.

"Misa really enjoyed herself today," she told him, placing her key in the door. "Maybe we can do this again? Maybe soon?"

"Maybe," he repeated, but the lack of a true tone let her know that he hadn't planned that far. There was never a guarantee when it came to Ryuuzaki.

"Well, I hope we can. Because I really liked it." Misa turned to her door, tapping on the wood in contemplation for a moment, before spinning around to face Ryuuzaki again. "Also, Misa has come to a decision."

He cocked his head, curious. "Really? What sort of decision?"

"That since this isn't our first date, it's okay."

Ryuuzaki frowned. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

In answer, Misa's small hands reached up and tugged on Ryuuzaki's shirt. The action successfully tilted the already slouching man down enough so that with her petite frame on tiptoes, Misa could press her lips to his. It was feather light, this impromptu kiss, but she could still feel his warmth, still taste the dried sugar on his cracked lips. She fought back the impulse to lick the sweetness away. One step at a time.

When Misa finally pulled back, she waited. Waited for the shocked look, the backing away. Some warning that what she had done had crossed some invisible line that Ryuuzaki still had between them. Instead, he didn't move at all, and his face was entirely unreadable, completely unlike the time she'd kissed his cheek. If anything, it almost looked as if he was waiting for her to kiss him again, and Misa wasn't one to disappoint, especially when she was all too happy to comply.

However, her moving closer to him again seemed to snap him out of whatever mind set he was in at the moment. Ryuuzaki took a step back, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "Goodnight, Misa-san," he murmured, his eyes not quite focusing on Misa, before he walked his way down the hall away from her.

Misa pouted a little, but it faded back to a smile as she walked into her apartment. It was a start of something new and exciting. A very big, good start. Her entire body tingled with happiness at it all. She could barely wait to tell Rem about the day. Even though she knew her shinigami partner wasn't truly interested in human romance, and certainly not interested in her relationship with Ryuuzaki (who she disliked only slightly less than Light), Rem would still listen for Misa's sake. As scary looking as she was, the death god was amazingly loyal and kind, in her own way.

While Misa kicked off her shoes, she heard the shinigami in question enter the room. Misa lifted her head to brightly greet her, but her words lodged in her throat when Rem interrupted, her blood suddenly running cold from what was said.

"Quiet, Misa," Rem warned. "There are cameras everywhere."


	22. Overflow

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated. Also, over one thousand reviews? _Seriously_ , guys? You people are awesome. You have no idea how much I appreciate knowing you like what I'm doing.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 27: Overflow **

At the headquarters of the Kira Investigation Team, the first night of surveillance in Amane Misa's home revealed nothing more than a petite model who ate salad with tea for dinner, liked to hum a little to herself now and then, and went dutifully to bed at ten thirty.

It did not reveal the large white shinigami that followed the girl around the entire time, explaining just what had happened at her apartment during her strategic date with Ryuuzaki.

It did not pick up Rem's voice, as she spoke with venom dripping from each word, disgust at both the detective known as L and his henchmen that had broken into Misa's home like petty criminals. How they had installed at least two cameras in every room, with one even in her bathroom. Misa barely held in her shudder of revulsion, not even feeling the slightest bit of relief when Rem noted that it was installed near the door, and her shower curtain would most likely cover her during showers. After all, that was only a guess, and it didn't hide anything else she'd do in there.

However, Misa managed to not panic, instead keeping herself focused on what Rem told her. The shinigami was used to Misa making the decisions, but from her partner's rigid posture at the mention of the cameras, Rem decided that she would take control for once. She would not allow a moment of fear to give L the opportunity to somehow incriminate Misa in anything, which she was certain he would do if he ever got suspicious that Misa knew even more than he'd already guessed. She didn't care what Misa thought or felt for the detective. As far as Rem was concerned, he'd just climbed up to the tallest rung on her ladder of dislike, firmly sharing the spot with Yagami Light.

So, Rem had calmly told Misa to go about her business like she would, whatever it was. To not break her habits, because by now L knew what they were to some capacity. He'd notice if something was amiss. To solve the problem about not being about to communicate freely, the death god suggested Misa hum in answer to any simple questions she could pose. High notes to denote "yes," and lower for "no."

It was a simple, if a bit frustrating system, but it worked for the moment.

Like an obedient child, Misa followed Rem's orders to the letter. As if there was nothing at all horrible and perverse happening just a few feet above her head. And, for just a little while, she settled into a strange zone of controlled jitters. But when it came close to the time she needed to get ready for bed, Misa felt her breathing become difficult at the mere thought of undressing. It was only Rem's soothing tone that stopped her from going into hysterics. The shinigami was right; she could not afford to act strangely now. There would be a time later on where she could think of what to do. But while she was in her home (more like a prison now), she had a role to play. And Misa-Misa was nothing if not a natural actress.

Misa almost surprised herself at how calmly she had moved around her room as she changed into her sleep clothing. Though, she did secretly hope that whoever was watching her would somehow go blind in the near future, even if it was Ryuuzaki. Actually, she amended, _especially_ if it was Ryuuzaki. At least his lackeys were just following orders.

**oooo**

Unsurprisingly, sleep did not come easy or for very long. For the most part, Misa had been awake, huddling under her covers and dreading when the morning came and she would need to do things that now required a lack of modesty that she had never possessed. Other idols may have been comfortable doing photo shoots in lingerie (and less), but while Misa teased every so often, she had a sense of taste that didn't allow her to go any farther than that. And now she had to use her bathroom while there was a camera in it? She had no guarantee that one of L's officers wouldn't sell a tape to the highest bidder. Didn't famous stars plummet into the dregs of the tabloids for things like this?

Regardless of her reluctance, her alarm rang right on time, and Misa forced herself back into her role of obliviousness. She hoped the perverts watching her enjoyed her show of eating breakfast, bringing in her paper (that she only got for the Kira articles), and her ever so exciting entrance into her bathroom (that was truly closer to a slow crawl), which included her turning on her shower first and foremost in the attempt to fog up the camera. She didn't know if it made any difference --wouldn't L think of something like the lens misting over in a bathroom?-- but it made her feel better.

It was ironic, but Misa only felt safe again once she was out of her apartment. It was a figurative and literal breath of fresh air. She didn't hesitate to pull out her phone and let Rem know.

"Misa has never been so angry in her life!" she hissed into the receiver, as if there really was someone on the other line. "I-I feel... Ryuuzaki-san is such a pervert!"

For once, her statement did not hold its usual teasing tone. She was actually shaking with rage. It took all of Rem's strength not to write L's name down right then and there. Because, while it would make her feel worlds better, once Misa's fury dissipated (and Rem was sure it would, because human love was strange and forgiving like that), she would be devastated by the loss.

With a reluctant sigh, the shinigami tried a different tactic with her partner. After all, this could still be used to the death god's advantage. Rem was, unashamedly so, dedicated to Misa's protection to the bitter end. If she happened to steamroll a couple human males along the way, well, those were the breaks.

"You know, Misa," she cautiously began, "L most likely set up the cameras because of your newly established connection to Yagami Light."

The girl pouted. "Why would you think that?"

"Think about it, Misa," Rem said. "You saw him at the campus with the Yagami boy. He is L, the one you keep telling me is this world's brilliant detective. Surely, he at least suspects him. And, if L suspects him, wouldn't it make sense that he'd have Yagami followed when possible?" Rem carefully left out the part where, during her time following L, she had listened in very intently on many of his conversations with the Kira investigation team. Yagami Light was not only the prime suspect; he was the _only_ suspect as far as L was concerned. Misa, however, did not need to be burdened by that fact.

"Well, yes," Misa reluctantly admitted. "But Misa wore a disguise all the times she was with Light!"

"And you honestly think L wouldn't recognize you after all this time?"

Misa's mouth opened in protest for a moment, before closing into a frown. She looked a little deflated at the revelation. Rem supposed she couldn't blame her. Misa had taken such pride in her fake identity.

"So, if Ryuuzaki-san thinks he can use Misa to get to Light," the girl scrunched her nose in disgust, "why put cameras in Misa's house?"

"How else could they reliably spy on both of you?"

"But I've never... " Misa suddenly turned a very bright red. "I wouldn't invite Light over like that! Misa is not that type of girl!"

"L comes over all the time," Rem noted.

The girl flailed a bit, flustered. "That's different! Ryuuzaki-san is different. Sometimes Misa isn't even sure what Ryuuzaki-san is," she sighed.

"I know exactly what he is," the death god said. "He's trouble."

**oooo**

Much to Rem's rather pleasant surprise, Misa's anger towards the detective did not waver even after two weeks of twenty-four hour "secret" surveillance. While at home, Misa was routine to the point of monotonous, unless she was on the phone with her sister. Mamori always seemed to get Misa animated, moving around the house as she talked and giggled and shouted, depending on her mood during the conversations. Rem silently thanked Mamori for the emotional uplifting that she herself could not seem to give her partner. She figured it was another human thing --a family thing-- that she would simply never understand.

The only thing that Misa started doing around the house that, prior to the cameras was not necessarily a priority in her schedule, was rigorously cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. From mopping, to dusting, to vacuuming, and back again if needed. Not that cleaning was a bad thing, and it did keep Misa occupied, but it still left Rem perplexed. Misa had never been this obsessed over everything being spotless.

Misa focused her continued fury with Ryuuzaki into her photo shoots and a commercial she shot, turning it easily into coy smiles and perfectly timed flutters of elongated lashes. Professionally, Misa was enviously perfect. She was desired by every photographer and label for her now well known impeccable shots and takes. It was impressive to watch her turn on and off like a light switch. To Rem, it was also a bit worrisome.

It was shortly after a particularly long and grueling photo shoot that Misa found herself stopping by the small park that was nearby, instead of calling herself a taxi. It was not quite dusk yet, and the longer she stayed away from her apartment, the better she felt. The sky was an ominous gray blanket, but Misa was somewhat grateful for the threat of rain. There were less people out because of it, and she had not bothered with her disguise on this day. It seemed pointless to her now.

Rem would probably chide her, and tell her to go home. That she was to keep with her schedule, and not look suspicious. But Rem was busy following Ryuuzaki today (or so she said), and Misa didn't see how stopping at a park by herself would seem odd or dangerous. What was the worst she could do there? Litter?

Her eyes wandered to the fountain ahead of her. A few geese swam there, happily enjoying the humid summer afternoon. Misa felt a little guilty not having anything to feed them. Her mother had always made it a habit to bring any staling bread with them if they ever went to a park. They'd spend so much time feeding the birds that her father would almost have to literally drag his wife and child away to do other things. Her mother would be disappointed in her. Misa sniffled a bit. Her mother would be disappointed for a lot of reasons.

The weight on the bench she was sitting on shifted, and Misa's head snapped up in surprise. The person who had sat next to her was no one she recalled ever seeing. An elderly man, though he seemed fit for his age, in a suit and tie. With his graying hair and moustache, golf umbrella he was using to rest his hands, and immaculate little bowler hat atop his wrinkled head, he looked rather like a butler from all those old Hollywood movies Misa watched while she was trying to learn English.

"Pardon me," he said, with such perfect diction that Misa was sure that Japanese was not his native language. "You don't mind my sitting here, do you?"

She shook her head, forcing a smile on her face. "No, of course not!"

He returned the smile. "Thank you." He turned his attention to the geese, then.

Quickly, Misa glanced at the name that floated above his head. If his formal way of speaking and European features didn't give his foreigner status away, his odd name spelled out in Roman letters did. Misa was fairly certain she could pronounce his family name, but his given one completely baffled her. Sometimes she wondered if people put any thought into naming their children. Or maybe they put too much.

The old man reached into his pocket then, pulling out a paper bag, which he unrolled the top of. Misa watched him dig his hand inside it for a moment, before pulling it out, and flinging it forward, fingers unclenching and the allowing croutons he was holding to scatter a few feet from them.

It was like a gunshot had gone off.

The geese from the fountain, in a mad dash of feathers and honks, had gathered in front of them, all doing their best to eat as much as they could. Good humoredly, the man offered them another handful, which they again fought over eagerly.

"Such greedy little things," he chuckled.

Misa watched the water fowl with a wistful smile. It was nice to see something that gave her a feeling of fond nostalgia, interrupting her now usual worry of the future.

The man noticed her watching and offered the bag to her. "Would you like to feed them, too?" he asked, kindly.

"Oh!" She glanced down at the sack of crumbs. "May I?"

He gave her a friendly smile. "Of course."

Misa took a small bit of the croutons, and sent them flying, giggling as the geese flapped and squawked excitedly.

"This is a lovely park," the old man commented. "I wish I had found it sooner."

"You're on vacation?" Misa asked.

"You could say that," he said, "But it's mostly business related."

She wrinkled her nose. "Doesn't sound like a very fun vacation."

He laughed. "I suppose not."

"Misa would like to go on a vacation someday soon. Somewhere far away from her busy job, where her manager can't call her and bug her," she confessed. She doubted this foreigner would know who she was, so she didn't feel the need to be cautious about what she said regarding her idol status. "Somewhere romantic."

"That sounds nice," the man told her.

"Yes, but it won't happen."

"Why not?"

Misa sighed melodramatically. "Because I have a very dumb... boyfriend." The last word wavered a bit. Did she still want to refer to Ryuuzaki like that?

The elderly man raised one bushy brow. "Dumb, you say?"

"Very dumb!" she nodded her head. Her frustration was back with avengence then, finally having a desperately needed outlet in this unfortunate stranger. "He says and does stupid things all the time! He sits poorly, and eats terribly. He wears the same clothing every day, and I don't think he's ever brushed his hair. He never sleeps, and says perverted things. He always has to be right, no matter what. He's busy with work all the time. And I mean _all the time!_ I don't think there's really a moment that he isn't working, not even when he's with me. I mean, he's only taken me out on one date! And after the date he... " she slowed herself a bit there, fairly certain that saying that Ryuuzaki had installed cameras in her house would be a rather awkward moment. "...He didn't call me. It's been two weeks, and he hasn't called me once."

"...Oh."

She continued, her rant going back to full steam, "What sort of boyfriend does that? A dumb one! A very, very dumb one! Misa has been very good to him. Very devoted. She's done a lot. And she could've dated much better looking guys. Guys that would've taken her to lots of expensive restaurants, and would've gotten her all sorts of fancy gifts. And would've never woken her up in the middle of night to talk just because they were bored!  
"But Misa stayed with Ryuuzaki-san because she liked being with him best. Because he made her happiest. And all Misa wants is... All I want is... " her voice hitched. She wanted a lot of things. She wanted Light to never be caught, and be her shining hero forever. She wanted Ryuuzaki to not be L. She wanted her sister there at the moment to hold her so she wouldn't feel so stupid crying in front of a stranger. Most of all, she wanted... "I just want him to trust me," she whispered, wiping furiously at her suddenly wet face. "Why doesn't he trust me? Why? I care so much, and- "

Fabric pressing against her face caused Misa to jerk a little, eyes fluttering open.

She blinked a bit to clear her blurry eyes, and was dumfounded as the elderly man proceeded to pat her cheeks with a delicate looking handkerchief.

"Now, now," he clucked with a small frown. "Pretty young ladies should never have to cry."

Misa looked down, mortified. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all those things."

"Quite alright," he assured her, holding out the handkerchief. "Here. Dry your face."

Misa took him up on his offer, taking the hanky and dabbing the tears away. "Thank you."

"Sometimes it feels good to just let it out, hmmm?" the man asked. "It's a good thing to do, when you think about it. You hold what you feel inside for too long, and you'll either explode or forget to feel at all. So," he gave Misa a little pat on the head, "don't you worry about a thing."

She smiled. Misa liked this grandfatherly man. More people should be nice like he was.

A drop of wetness fell onto Misa's cheek, and she wiped it away with a frown. She didn't think she was crying anymore. But then another drop touched her cheek. And another on her forehead, until it became apparent that it was the sky that was crying, and not her.

"Oh, no!" She hopped up, her quick movement startling the straggling geese away. She'd never make it to the train station before getting soaked.

The elderly man stood, opening his umbrella with practiced ease, and held it over the two of them. "There we go now. Better."

"Thank you so much, but Misa should run to her train now," she said.

"Really? Well then, you should take my umbrella," he stated with a grin.

Misa's eyes widened, and she blushed a little, wildly shaking her hands in front of her. "I couldn't do that! You'll get all wet!"

"I've handled worse, I assure you," there was an amused sparkle in his eyes.

She shook her head. "I really can't. It's my own fault for not taking an umbrella myself."

"Well, if you insist on not taking it," he said, "I insist on escorting you to your train."

Misa blinked a few times. "Huh?"

"Come along," the man smiled, gracefully linking arms with her, and gently guiding her along. "Mustn't be late."

She was so stunned at the genuinely chivalrist behavior, that she couldn't come up with a proper argument to stop him. Truthfully, Misa wasn't very confident with walking to the station by herself when it was getting dark, especially with Rem not around. Having the old man with her made her feel safe.

When they arrived at the station the board alerted them that Misa still had five minutes until her train would be there for boarding. Misa turned to the man, and gave him a thousand watt smile that was, for the first time in weeks, sincere.

"Thank you. You've been really sweet to Misa when you didn't need to be."

"My pleasure," he assured her. "A gentleman would never leave a lady out in the rain."

"Hmmmm." She bet Ryuuzaki would, if the circumstances permitted it.

"Um, young lady," he began a bit hesitantly. "May I give a bit of advice?"

Misa shrugged. "Sure."

He gave her a small smile, before speaking in a worldly tone. "Forgive me if I am out of line, but this... boyfriend of yours? Do you really care about him?"

She was caught off guard by the question, which is probably why she answered so honestly. "Well, yes. Misa cares a lot."

The man tapped his chin a moment in a manner that actually reminded Misa of Ryuuzaki. "If that's the case, don't you think that there's a reason for it?"

Misa tilted her head, confused. "I'm sorry?"

"You see, it seems to me that if you can list all these many flaws he has, but yet still feel that strongly towards him, you must see something in him that makes it all worth it," he concluded.

She furrowed her brow. She honestly didn't know why she felt what she did anymore. Every time she thought that Ryuuzaki was doing something because he cared, the truth of the matter would turn up and laugh at her stupidity. She was beginning to feel that there was nothing about their relationship that was real on his end. And yet she couldn't help but hope to be wrong, no matter how many times it was proven otherwise.

"Some men are a little thicker than others," the old man whispered, conspiratorially. "But they open up sooner or later."

"Misa doesn't think he'll ever open up," she solemnly admitted.

He frowned sadly. "Maybe. But," he raised a finger, smiling again, "I have a very good feeling that he'll call you soon."

She laughed. "That would be nice."

The train arrived then, and he walked her to the doors.

"Ah! Before you go." With a small flourish, the man took off his hat, and placed it on Misa's head. It was a little big, and slipped past her pigtails, stopping just above her eyes. "There."

Instinctively, Misa grabbed the hat. "But- "

"You leave that on, young lady," he said with a fatherly authority. "If you won't take my umbrella home, at least the hat will stop your head from getting completely wet."

Slowly, Misa grinned. "You know what? Misa thinks that if her boyfriend grows to be half as sweet as you, she'll be very lucky."

The man blushed a little. "I personally think that he's the lucky one."

**oooo**

That night, the Kira Investigation Team watched as Amane Misa went about her ritual of cleaning every nook and cranny of her apartment, albeit with a little more liveliness than she usually had. The only thing that seemed out of place was the bowler hat that she had apparently acquired through out the day. But while it appeared rather odd to most of the team, it answered a question that L had posed to Watari when he had seen him in the older man's private observation room earlier in the evening.

It was also the last night that Watari was assigned to shadowing Misa outside her apartment.


	23. Wada Calcium CD3

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated. Hey, guys! Guess who's been continuously ill the past month? I wish I could remember what it was like to breathe through my nose.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 28. Wada Calcium CD3**

Sometimes, the world shifts. Not in the scientific way, but more in the metaphysical sense. As if the aura around people and objects changes tint, just a little. Enough so that only the trained eye would notice the difference, and be bothered by it.

Rem had a very trained eye. So, when Misa got a phone call from Light for a date to the movies and a walk afterward, the shinigami felt the earth move just a tad off its axis. Saw the blood red space around her deepen by a fracture. And then she knew.

Circumstances were about to change drastically.

**ooooo**

Misa adjusted the bowler cap atop her wig covered head, as it slipped a little too forward, blocking her view. She'd grown quickly and unashamedly fond of it, and while Misa-Misa would not be seen wearing such a thing, Hikari could do so without worry.

Even if, much to Misa's chagrin, Light had looked befuddled and displeased upon spotting it. At least he hadn't questioned it.

Much more to her embarrassment, the movie Light had taken her to had been a rather intellectual, introspective piece, that went fairly over her head. She supposed that she could've understood it if she had wanted to --well, maybe-- but it had been _so boring._ Too much dialogue, not any action, and there wasn't even a single good looking actor to distract her from the drudging lethargy the film threatened to envelope her in.

Light had claimed it was brilliant once they left the theater. Misa whole heartedly agreed.

And Rem, who had obediently followed the two, had found the entire thing ridiculous. Human entertainment was usually far better than how shinigami wasted their time with gambling and killing, but the death god could not bring herself to enjoy the night. It was impossible to do so when she was spending most of it trying not to take the pen she used for her Death Note, making it into a makeshift knife and stabbing the Yagami boy every time he reached over to touch Misa's hand. She nearly gagged with rage when he actually put his arm around her shoulder.

Naturally, Ryuuk had found the entire ordeal hilarious.

Usually, Light and Misa's talks revolved around Misa and her career. She was grateful for this, because it meant that they never ventured into territory that went clear over her head, like she was afraid most of what interested Light would. Misa never found herself to be stupid, but she never thought she was a genius, either. She certainly wasn't as clever as Light, with his perfect looks, and perfect manners, and perfect grades. A perfectly packaged life. He was overwhelming, even when he wasn't trying to be.

So, Misa felt a little uncomfortable when Light began to discuss the recent lectures in his law classes. For the most part, she smiled and nodded, doing her best to agree with him when she thought that was what he wanted.

"...And then we got on to the subject of juries, and the whole class nearly erupted," Light sighed. "It's a shame, really. If the jury system was used more often, more crimes would likely be put to trial."

That actually piqued Misa's interest, and she leaned in. "Why's that?"

For a moment, he gave her an incredulous look, like he couldn't believe he had to explain himself. But he smiled quickly, and shrugged. "Because trials held by judges alone are fairly straight forward. If you don't have an entirely open and shut case, a lawyer most likely won't even try to bring it to trial. If they don't get a conviction, it looks bad on them, so they won't bother with it. With a jury, you have a greater chance of conviction, so prosecutors would be more willing to go with cases based on circumstantial evidence."

Misa recalled how Mamori had talked to her about their parents' case. How it hadn't really been Ryuuzaki who was at fault for it not going to trial; it had been lack of clear cut evidence. It was because of their faulty justice system. She briefly wondered if the real reason their lawyer never tried to bring their parents' murderer to trial was because he simply didn't want to put his neck out.

"Misa doesn't really like lawyers very much," she bitterly admitted. "Cowards."

"Really, now?" Light looked sheepish. "So, you wouldn't like me anymore if I became one?"

"No, no! Misa would still like Light!" she backpedaled, blushing. "I think you'd be a great lawyer! It's just I... haven't really had good luck with the law."

"Yeah, I've read," he said, softly. "I'm sorry, Misa. Things like that should never happen."

She smiled sadly, grateful for the small display of sympathy. Rem was so wrong about Light. "It's okay. It was over a year ago." And yet still very fresh in her mind.

"Still," Light said, "I'd much rather become a detective than a lawyer. I'd feel like I'd be getting more accomplished that way. It's one of the reasons I chose Toh-Oh. It has a great reputation for its law department."

"You really want to be like your father, huh?" she asked, curious.

His eyes brightened a little with rare but true enthusiasm. "He's the reason for a lot of what I've done in my life. I guess you could say he's my inspiration."

Misa grinned. "I understand. Misa's parents were really special, too. I think Light would've liked them."

"I'm sure I would've," he said. Light looked around for a moment, silently noting the lack of people around them on the street, and stopped. "Hey, Misa? I have a question for you."

She turned to him. "Hmm? For me?"

"Yes, but I need to know something first. Something important." His face was serious, lips in a solemn line. "You trust me, right?"

Misa gasped, eyes widening. "What?"

"Misa, please," he leaned forward, his hands gripping her arms as his eyes locked with hers. "I need to know that you trust me."

She could feel her heart skipping beats in her chest, her legs becoming shaky underneath her. Was he really asking her this? Hoping for the same thing from her that she was still waiting for Ryuuzaki to give her? It was enough to make her cry.

"O-of course, Misa trusts Light," she nodded, fervently. "Very much so."

He smiled, closing his eyes a moment. "Good. You have no idea how much that means to me, Misa. I've been wanting to say this to you for a while, but I needed to make sure."

"You wanted to know that I trusted you?" she asked.

"Well, yes, but that isn't what I needed to say. You see, I think that... maybe we should stop seeing each other."

Misa's heart stopped. She couldn't possibly have heard correctly. "W-what?"

Behind her, Rem looked on, suspicious. It sounded far too good to be true.

"Please, understand, this isn't what you think," he swore, the serious expression never once leaving his face. "It's not something I want to do. I really like spending time with you. It's just too dangerous for you right now."

She blinked, confused. "Dangerous? How could it be dangerous for Misa?"

Light shook his head, and backed away just a little. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Please, explain to Misa why?" she pleaded. "Why is it too dangerous?"

"No, forget it," he waved her question away, before feebly trying to walk past her. Misa easily grabbed hold of him. "I'm sorry, Misa. I can't-"

"No!" she shouted, frowning. The frustration bubbled over, her grip on his arm tightening so that they both flinched from it. "I'm sick and tired of people not telling me things. Misa places her trust in everyone she cares about. It's about time people start trusting me, too." She gave him a leveled glare. "Please, tell me what's going on."

He gave her a hard look, before sighing and succumbing to her demand. "I'm only trying to protect you."

Rem snorted. "I doubt that."

She tilted her head. "From what?"

Light's eyes darted back and forth, and when he seemed suitably satisfied that no one was around close enough to hear them, he looked back and whispered, "I'm on the Kira investigation team."

Misa's voice raised an octave. _"What?!"_

He quickly placed a hand over her mouth. "Shh! It's not exactly something I want everyone to know about."

Slowly, Misa nodded her head, and he released her.

Light continued. "I got in because of my father, you see."

Misa's eyes rounded into saucers. "Light's father is on the investigation team, too?"

He smiled momentarily. "Yes. He thought I'd be an asset to the team, since I've helped him before. Mind you, it's not official, and I'm not there as often as the 'real' members. But, I'm still considered a target. And I don't want you to get caught up more so than you already are with me. So, I think it would be best if we go our separate ways now.  
"I just didn't know if I could tell you all of this before we did so," he confessed, apologetic. "I do trust you, Misa. It's just the less you know, the safer you are."

Misa could feel the tears at the corners of her eyes. Of course, she knew that there had to be something to this speech of his. He was Kira, after all. If he was anyone's target, it was L's. Still, Light had done something that even Ryuuzaki had not yet done. He had told Misa the truth --even if it was a partial one-- and was giving her the choice to do what she wished with it.

"But, that doesn't matter to Misa," she swore. "I'll happily take my chances if it means I could spend time with Light!"

He scowled. "Misa, that's ridiculous! You can't just frivolously risk your life like that. This isn't something you can decide so easily."

For once, Rem agreed with the boy. "Misa, he's offering you an out. Please, take it."

"Yes, I can," she insisted, ignoring her partner. "The decision is easy, because to me there is no decision. I still want to spend time with you, and I will."

For a moment, he seemed honestly surprised at her stubborn determination. Almost annoyed, but it faded and he once again looked on with disapproving concern. "Misa, I understand that you're upset, but I'm only doing what I think is best for you. I mean, I'm only helping the investigation team now, but there's a possibility that I'll become a permanent member. If that happens, I'll not only be a much bigger target, but I'll be gone much more. You'll barely see me."

"Misa is used to that," she snapped.

The ferocity of the statement took him aback. "Pardon?"

Misa bit her lip, her mind racing. Part of her thought this situation was a little too convenient in some way, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out how or why. How would confessing his involvement in the Kira investigation help Light use her in the long run? Rem had pointed out a long time ago that Light was aware of her connection to L. Even so, he had no idea just how deep that connection ran; was clueless on whether or not she knew that L was in fact L. So, was his heart baring moment some sort of ruse to get information out of her?

If so, then she could work this to her advantage. She could bait a man as well as the next woman. It was all a matter of knowing which lure worked best. And Misa knew exactly what Kira wanted. If that was the case, she could easily dangle some information in front of him, without giving herself away. And, if this was nothing more than an honest confession, then she would come out looking even more naive about the entire situation than before. Surely, she was coming out of this on top.

And so, she Misa did what she always did in situations that required a steady hand and a cool head. She gambled impulsively.

"Misa already knows someone on the Kira investigation team," she whispered.

"Misa!" Rem yelled, distraught and dumbfounded at the reckless announcement. "What are you doing?"

Something positively fiery flickered in Light's eyes, the corners of his lips twitching slightly. Still, he looked convincingly shocked. "What did you say?"

"Misa knows someone on the team," she repeated, feeling far too obstinate to regret her declaration. "I've known him for a long time now."

He gave her a disbelieving grimace. "Who?"

She faltered at the question. Somehow, actually saying his name seemed like a bad thing to do, even if Light already knew her answer. Maybe she should've kept quiet. "Well, I... "

Light chuckled suddenly, and shook his head. "I should've known. You almost had me there."

"Hm?"

"Misa," he sighed, "I really get that you're upset, but there's no reason to lie to me to try to make me change my mind."

"I'm not lying!" Suddenly, her fury returned with a vengeance. "Why won't people trust me? When I say something, I mean it."

He blinked. "Misa-"

"Ryuuzaki."

Light's face went blank. "What?"

"His name," she said, lifting her chin. "His name is Ryuuzaki."

"Oh, Misa," Rem hung her head, deflated. "Misa, why?"

"Ryuuzaki... " his voice had darkened considerably. "Yes, that would explain why you were at To-Oh that day. You were visiting Ryuuzaki, weren't you?"

"Well, yes," Misa lied, feeling guilty. It wasn't yet time to tell him the real reason.

"I should've figured that out. I thought I heard you say that name before you fainted," he rubbed his chin. "That would explain it. But, Ryuuzaki's never mentioned you."

She flinched. Of course, he hadn't, but it still hurt. "We're just friends." Another lie, this one wounding her a little more than the last. "Still, Misa knows him, so she's already in as much danger as she's going to be."

"Yes, I can see that," Light said, displeased. "Maybe I should speak to Ryuuzaki about it."

"No!" she grabbed hold of him. "Please, don't tell Ryuuzaki-san what I told you. He'd be really angry at Misa."

"Well-"

"Please, Light! If you promise not to tell, Misa promises to keep Light's secret that way, too."

He gave her a long, stern look, before shrugging, apparently defeated. "Okay. But the very moment I think you're in danger, that's that. Understand, Misa?"

She smiled brightly, and gave him a fierce hug. "Yes, yes. Thank you, Light!"

Misa relaxed in his embrace. She knew that she'd rolled the dice rather haphazardly this time around, but she was positive that she was no worse off than she had been before.

Rem, however, had a much darker opinion. She had been hoping that if Misa had simply agreed to the split, Light would figure that she really was clueless when it came to Ryuuzaki and his involvement in the Kira investigation. That he'd let her go because she was useless to him. But now that she had basically handed her connection to L over on a silver platter, the shinigami knew that Light had no intentions of letting her go anymore. And, if the predatory look he had on his face at the moment was any indication. Rem had doubts that he'd simply let Misa go even after he won the battle against L.

**ooooo**

A few days after her momentous date with Light, Misa was busy cleaning her home. She knew she had angered Rem, because the shinigami had suddenly taken to either the silent treatment or completely avoiding her. Misa smirked at the behavior. Clearly, Rem was becoming far more human than she realized.

Still, Misa figured her partner would forgive her in time. She just had to understand that Misa knew what she was doing, and that everything would turn out okay in the end. Rem just needed to have a little faith.

When her phone rang, Misa turned it on almost instinctively. She'd gotten so many calls from her agent recently about photo shoots and television appearances, she'd lost track. "Hello, hello. This is Misa-Misa!" Truthfully, Misa was so sick of them, she was hoping that it was Mamori calling, instead.

It was neither. "Hello, Misa-san."

She nearly dropped the phone. "Ryuuzaki-san!"

"You sound surprised."

She stopped cleaning her cabinet for a moment, placing her rag holding hand on her hip. "I am surprised! You haven't called or visited since our date."

"I apologize," he said, not sounding the least bit sorry. "I've been busy."

"Ryuuzaki-san is always busy," Misa lamented. "It's his favorite excuse."

"It's the truth."

Misa exhaled slowly. Truth was something she was getting very little of in recent times. Though, she had to admit that this probably was a rare moment of it. "Ryuuzaki-san really _is_ a very frustrating boyfriend."

"Is that what I really am to you?" he asked.

"Frustrating?" she repeated. "Yeah, you are. But that's okay, I suppose."

"No, not that."

"Hmmm?"

"A boyfriend," he clarified. "Do you think of me as your boyfriend?"

Long gone was the flustered unease he had the first time she'd said the word. Now, he sounded rather comfortable with it, if just a little curious. Misa supposed she shouldn't be too surprised. Ryuuzaki could adapt to the oddest of circumstances. Or, at least fake that he could so well that no one could tell the difference. Still, she was a little shaken by his forward questioning.

"Well, yes," she sputtered. "Why?"

"Nothing, really," he said. "I've never been anyone's boyfriend before, so I suppose I'm curious as to how this works."

"Oh." Relaxing, Misa took up the task of cleaning her cabinet's higher shelf, carefully removing the dishes and cups one by one. "You've never had a girlfriend before?"

"No."

"That's not surprising," she admitted. "Ryuuzaki-san can be really weird. Normal girls don't like that."

"Are you saying that you're abnormal, Misa-san?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"No," she frowned. "I'm _special._ There's a difference."

"Not really."

"You know, boyfriends know when they should agree with their girlfriends," she growled.

"So sorry, Misa-san," he feigned apology. "I am new at this, after all."

"Well, at least you're already good at pretending to be sorry," she quipped mischievously. She dragged a chair over so she could stand on it, and manage to clean the back of the cabinet. "I guess you could say Ryuuzaki-san is a fast learner."

He chuckled then, and Misa wobbled on her perch. She couldn't recall the last time she'd heard him laugh, if she ever had. He had a smooth, low laugh. Misa wanted to hear it more.

"Is there anything else I should know?" he asked.

"Hmmmm," she pretended to concentrate. "Probably, but Misa will have to write you a list just to make sure she remembers all the rules."

"A list? There's a list?"

"Of course, there's a list," she giggled. "There's a lot of things boyfriends should and should not do. Like, they should call more than once or twice a month. And they should give their girlfriend their phone number."

"...I'm afraid I'm going to be breaking some of those rules," he said.

Misa sighed. "I figured. Oh, hey! Misa thinks Ryuuzaki-san will find this funny." She reached up to the already cleaned first shelf in her cabinet, and pulled out a bottle. "Misa's manager called a couple days ago about a new commercial."

"I thought you've been doing plenty of them in recent months," Ryuuzaki said.

"I have, but this is different," she insisted. "Usually, I do makeup or clothing commercials. But guess what this one is for."

"Misa-san, I must admit that I don't like blind guessing."

Misa stopped from putting her dishes back into the now clean second shelf. "Then, I'll give you a hint." She grabbed the bottle she had pulled out, and shook it near the phone's receiver. "Now, do you know?"

"That sounded like a bottle of pills?" he questioned, bemused.

"Correct!" she cheered, as more dishes were replaced. "Vitamins, to be exact. They want Misa-Misa to do a _vitamin commercial!_ Can you believe it?"

"Is there anything wrong with that?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Well, not technically, I suppose," she admitted. "And my manager said that they think I'm a such a big star that more young people would buy them if I did the commercial. So, that's nice to hear, but," she pouted, "I don't think I'll be taken seriously anymore if I do it. I mean, it's for vitamins! What idol does a vitamin commercial?"

"I've seen them do worse."

Finished with restocking the cabinet shelf, Misa went to work on cleaning the counter top off. "So has Misa," she said, shrugging. "But, Misa doesn't want to be like that. She doesn't want to do anything that she'll regret later on."

"It's really up to you, Misa-san," he told her. "If you're not comfortable with it, then don't do it."

"Yes, you're right- " Misa's voice cut off, and her busily cleaning hand stilled.

She'd been scrubbing at then where the counter and the kitchen wall met. When she went to give the corner a good scrub, she felt an odd chink in the wall. Slowly, she pulled the rag away, and leaned in. Buried right in the corner, in a small hole someone had carefully made, was a tiny lens. A camera.

Misa backed up, and screamed.

"Misa-san?" Ryuuzaki said, concerned.

She fell to the floor and promptly curled up into a ball. "Ryuuzaki-san," she whimpered, tears in her eyes. "Help Misa!"

"What's wrong?"

She bet he knew exactly what was wrong. But now was the time to play her role. She hadn't waited this long for him to call at the right time not to follow through with the plan. "There's a camera in Misa's kitchen!" she whispered in a panicked voice.

"A camera?" his voice hitched.

"What if it's a stalker? Misa doesn't want to be threatened again!" she wailed. "Misa will leave and go to the police."

"Stay there."

She blinked. "What?"

"Don't leave," he ordered, his tone suddenly calm and demanding. "If it is a stalker, then he's already aware that you found the camera. He'll know that you're leaving, and now that his cover is blown there would be no reason for him not to attack you now."

Even though Misa knew where the camera really came from, the vision that Ryuuzaki managed to produce made her shiver. "Then, what should Misa do?"

"Stay there," he repeated. "I'll come over."

"But- "

"It'll be all right, Misa-san," he assured her. "You have to trust me, okay?"

Trust. Could she really trust anyone anymore? That was a feeling that she had kissed goodbye a while ago, even though she still eagerly awaited its return. She nearly laughed. Instead, she held herself tighter and nodded. "Okay. Ryuuzaki-san will come right away, right?"

"Immediately." And his phone went dead.

With a shudder, Misa remained wrapped in her own arms on the ground, shaking like a leaf and waiting for his arrival. If this worked out, she'd no longer have to worry about a few things. Still, she couldn't help but find it sad that some of her fear over the cameras wasn't at all fake. She hoped Ryuuzaki arrived sooner rather than later.


	24. Good Night

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 24. Good Night**

Misa distinctly remembered that the last time she felt true terror --the day her stalker had attacked her-- the hours after it were a total blur. She couldn't even remember how she managed to get herself home in one piece, let alone all the things she'd done once she'd gotten there. Only that she had cowered in fear and panic for what seemed liked warped time, where everything went in fast forward.

Now, in her mostly feigned state of fright, it seemed like the world had slowed down to an excruciating pace. Each second felt like an hour, and Misa felt so acutely aware of every tiny sound and movement around her, it was almost painful. Falseness began to give way to genuine nervousness and trepidation. She wondered, not for the first time since Ryuuzaki had hung up with her, if this was a good idea. Maybe he had seen through her act, and was simply taking his time as he thought of some way to spin this to his advantage once more. Perhaps he'd even confront her about it.

Misa hadn't have thought just what she would do if Ryuuzaki realized that her discovery of the cameras was deliberate. He was far smarter than her, that was sure. And while she was certain her acting skills were superb enough to fool most anyone, she was also quite certain that L was not 'most anyone.' Misa's only advantage against Ryuuzaki and Light had always been the two men's belief that she was not only their intellectual inferior, but that she was entirely ignorant of what was truly going on around her. She knew the moment they realized that she wasn't oblivious of the truth, she'd be done for somehow.

Surely though, she told herself, Ryuuzaki wouldn't do anything bad to her. Ryuuzaki liked Misa, in his way. He did. Surely she wasn't just a tool for him. Even though all the lies that were-- No! Ryuuzaki liked Misa.

It was that thought that was repeating like a mantra in her mind when a solid knocking came from her front door. The sharp sound made Misa jump, her head neatly hitting the cabinet she had been curled up against. Cursing under her breath and rubbing her head, she crawled over to her door, stopping just short of opening it.

"Who's there?" she asked, voice properly trembling.

"Let me in, Misa-san," Ryuuzaki softly ordered from the other side.

Taking a deep breath, she reached up and unlocked the door, only to have Ryuuzaki nearly barrel right over her as he opened the door without waiting. He gave her a blank look for a moment, then strode past her, and into the living room. In one hand he held a rather large metal case, that he carefully placed on her coffee table. After making sure that it was safe where it was, Ryuuzaki walked purposefully into the kitchen, once again bypassing Misa, and reached into the high cabinets. For a moment, Misa wondered if he was pretending to look for cameras. Instead, she was left befuddled as he pulled out her tin of tea and a couple cups.

"W-what is Ryuuzaki-san doing?" Misa asked, perplexed.

"Making tea, of course," he answered, flatly. "I assume you're not in the mood right now to play hostess to me. And besides," he added right when she began to bristle, "you deserve something to calm your nerves. Some tea with milk should do the trick."

She wrinkled her nose. "Misa doesn't like milk in her tea."

"Nonetheless, it's what I shall make for you. It does wonders."

Despite herself, Misa ruefully smiled. "Do you drink it?"

"When I was young, I did a few times."

"Ryuuzaki-san doesn't look like the type to drink tea and milk. You must've poured a whole box of sugar cubes into it."

"Not a one."

Misa looked at him, incredulously.

He elaborated. "It wasn't so much that I wanted to drink it like that at the time. I was made to drink it."

She couldn't imagine anyone making Ryuuzaki do anything, and told him so.

"Yes, well, I was young. I wouldn't allow myself to be put in the same position again. Not that I need it anymore. But, I will say with certainty," he knelt down to her, offering a filled steaming cup, "that as unpleasant as I found it, I did relax."

She gave him one more doubtful look, but took a small sip to humor him. Then promptly grimaced at the taste. She hated to admit it, but she was suddenly envious of the milk free, sugar laden tea that Ryuuzaki was drinking.

Much to her surprise, Ryuuzaki waited patiently as she drank every last drop of the tea he had made for her. When she finished, he silently took her empty cup, and placed it and his in her sink, before finally kneeling in front of her with a serious expression on his face.

"Misa-san," he began, gently but firmly, "where did you see the camera?"

She bit her lip, her breath quickening. Hesitantly, she pointed to the corner of her kitchen. "Over there. The corner of the counter and the wall."

He stood, walked over to his briefcase, flipped the latches on it with practiced ease, and opened it revealing pieces of equipment Misa couldn't identify aside from the long tweezers and magnifying headset. Grabbing what he apparently thought he needed, Ryuuzaki made his way to the corner that Misa pointed at, and learned far in, poking and prodding it, until Misa heard a distinct snap of wires clipping. When Ryuuzaki pulled away, he held up a tiny camera lens, broken wires dangling from it.

"It seems you were right about the cameras, Misa-san," he said, and Misa had to give him credit for managing to sound rather surprised. "I suspect from this one that there's some wiring work that I missed removing, but as long as the lens itself is removed it should be more than sufficient."

She frowned. "You don't think that's the only one, do you?"

If he had brows behind his shock of messy hair, she'd bet on them being raised. "Of course, not. He'd be a rather poor stalker to leave only a single camera after going through all the trouble to break in without notice. I'm sure there are quite a few others."

"Misa doesn't like how you give the man credit," she muttered from her place on the floor.

"My apologies. I was simply trying to say that the likelihood of there being multiple cameras placed around your home is rather high.," he waved his hand.

She buried her face in her knees. "That's it! Misa is going to move!"

"You shall not."

Her head snapped up, only for her to come face to face with Ryuuzaki. "Pardon?"

"Misa-san," he fingered at the weathered denim of his jeans, "stalkers, like most criminals, are motivated by power and control. If you move, you are giving this criminal the knowledge that he can frighten you into doing just as he wants. That he is the cause to your effect. You will be handing him control. Is that what you wish to do, Misa-san?" he asked, nibbling on the tip of his thumb, dark eyes staring unblinkingly at her. "Do you wish to be dominated?"

She almost shrunk underneath his gaze. Wasn't being manipulated what was happening to her, anyway? It was just becoming more and more difficult to figure out who was using her, and for what angle. And she was getting tired of it. Tired of wondering if there was any trust left between her and Ryuuzaki. Exhausted from the blind faith she was placing in Light, even with Rem's constant warnings, and her own knowledge of what would happen if Light got a hold of the information she had on the detective. She couldn't keep jumping through fiery hoops and hoping she didn't get burned while she made the leap.

"Misa wants to make her own decisions again," she murmured quietly but surely. "Without second guessing."

Ryuuzaki gave her a curious look for a moment --a ghost of a smile-- and nodded. "Let me get to work, then."

And work he did. For hours, Ryuuzaki burned the midnight oil as he combed through the entire apartment, removing camera after camera, even in places Rem hadn't found. The only time Misa almost panicked was when Ryuuzaki got dangerously close to finding her Death Note beneath her scrapbook and random newspapers on the lower shelf of her coffee table. However, since no camera was located there, he hadn't bothered with a thorough search of it.

At nearly three am, Ryuuzaki officially stated that Misa's apartment was officially de-bugged. Misa, who had relocated herself to the sofa, gave him a doubtful frown.

"Ryuuzaki-san is absolutely sure?" she questioned.

"Without a doubt," he assured her. "I made quite certain I went through each room at least three times to account for any possible spots I might have previously overlooked. I even checked the bathroom a fourth time, like you requested."

Misa shuddered involuntarily, closing her eyes as she willed for the distasteful thoughts in her mind to evaporate. She jolted when something cold brushed against her cheeks. Eyes fluttering open, she found that Ryuuzaki had gently, cautiously placed his hands on either side of her face.

The words left her lips before she could stop them. "What is Ryuuzaki-san doing?"

He pulled back, awkwardly. "I was attempting to comfort you."

She blinked, still too stunned to fully comprehend what he had just said. "Huh?"

"I admit I've never really done it before," he frowned. "However, this seems like the appropriate time to try to make you feel better. I believe," he added, tapping his bottom lip. Misa noted the almost far off look his eyes suddenly had, and she realized he was truly trying to figure out what to do. Despite herself, she found the gesture endearing. "Am I going about it all wrong? The nuances are a bit lost on me."

"No, Ryuuzaki-san was doing fine. It's just," Misa tilted her head, "you've never touched me before. I've always touched you. It surprised me."

"I don't like being touched by people, Misa-san," he confessed without remorse. "I enjoy my personal space very much so. But, comforting someone in a time of distress usually requires both verbal and physical stimuli."

"So, you touched Misa because you thought you had to?"

"Well, yes that. And because I find it doesn't bother me."

She raised one delicate brow. "What?"

He seemed fairly perplexed by it himself. "I appear to have gotten quite used to your constant need for physical contact. I suppose it's only natural, given that one can adapt to any social change, if given the proper time. Also, Misa-san's touch was never really unpleasant. I don't mind it, if it's you."

Misa failed to fight down the rising blush in her face.

"And besides," he continued, either ignoring or not even noticing her embarrassment, "you're upset, are you not?"

She pouted a little. "Yes."

"The man who did this, who put the cameras in your home," his voice was thick. "He frightened you?"

Misa bit her lip, her heart pounding as she whispered a painful truth. "_Yes._"

"I won't let it happen again."

She made a tiny yelp of surprise, as once again Ryuuzaki put his hands on her face, this time more surely. "I won't let anyone scare you again, Misa-san. Not anyone." He leaned over, a grave expression on his visage. "I promise."

Staring into his solemn unflinching eyes, Misa realized that for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, she truly believed what the man before her was saying. And it made the weight she didn't even realize was on her shoulders lighten a little.

She forced down a few tears as she covered Ryuuzaki's cold hands with her warm ones. "Ryuuzaki-san is really a good person. In fact, he's Misa's favorite person."

He pulled away, shifting uncomfortably. "It's late, Misa-san. You should sleep."

Misa looked horrified. "You expect me to sleep here? _Now?_"

"Of course. It's the middle of the night, after all. Besides," he shrugged, "I'm not taking you with me."

"And you're leaving Misa alone?!" she wailed. "Ryuuzaki-san is an awful person!"

It seemed that Ryuuzaki had also become quite used to Misa's wild mood swings. Without a retort, he reached down and scooped up the crumpled creature before him. The gesture shocked Misa well enough so that all complaints temporarily died on her lips. He carried her with little difficulty to her room, though he was a bit callous with the way he dropped her onto her bed.

"It's safe here now, Misa-san," he reassured her. "I'll call later to discuss possible methods to increase your safety around here."

The possibilities of what he had in mind flashed through her thoughts, but Misa pushed them aside. "Don't leave, please," she reached up. "It's scary."

He sighed, like a parent would to a whining child. "You're being infantile."

"I am not!" she declared, beginning to sit up. "A man bugged my house with cameras. Misa is allowed to be scared!"

"Regardless," he pushed her back down, "you still need your sleep."

Her expression suddenly changed, and she gazed back at him with hooded eyes, as her hands gripped his collar. "Please, Ryuuzaki-san," she cooed. "Stay the night with Misa?"

To his surprise, she yanked him down by his shirt, slipping one hand in the nest of his hair, and pressing her lips to his. The movement caused him to have to lean over the queen sized bed, and he quickly lost his balance. He nearly fell on top of Misa, but managed to catch himself just enough so that his suddenly white knuckled fists flanked Misa. To her delighted surprise, he didn't initially pull away. Instead, he actually leaned into the kiss, deepening it for a moment. Still it was but a moment, and he broke the kiss, backing away from the bed until he was in the door frame, looking adorably flustered in Misa's opinion.

Though, she also wondered if maybe she had made a huge mistake. "Ryuuzaki-san- "

"You need to rest, Misa-san," he reiterated. When she opened her mouth, he added, "However, I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I waited here until you manage to sleep."

"But you won't stay?" she frowned as he turned off her lights.

"No."

Her scowl remained for a second, then was replaced by a small smile. "Ryuuzaki-san, you're different than the other men Misa knows."

He looked genuinely curious. "How so?"

"Most men would never turn down Misa if she asked them to stay with her for the night," she explained, stretching across her sheets as she settled in. "But Ryuuzaki-san did it without any hesitation."

Ryuuzaki bit his thumb, turning away. "I assure you, Misa-san. I'm... not _that_ much different than the other men you know."

The implication was not lost on Misa, and she blushed accordingly. "O-oh."

A nervous silence befell them. Misa tried to stay awake for as long as possible, attempting to keep Ryuuzaki with her all night, if she could. She hadn't felt this safe and happy in a long time and she was loathe to lose it. He didn't sleep, anyway.

However, her body had entirely different plans than her mind, and exhaustion finally beat out her most dogged determination. When Misa awoke in the late morning, Ryuuzaki and all the cameras were gone. He had done her the favor of cleaning the cups they had used the night before, and somehow found her cell phone in her overcrowded purse (an invasion of privacy she was both angry and unsurprised with), and had placed it in its charger.

The reason for that became clear enough when it began to ring not long after she found it. Misa knew she didn't have to be the world's greatest detective to know who was on the other end.

"Good morning, Ryuuzaki-san."

"Hello, Misa-san. I hope you slept well. I thought now would be as good a time as any to discuss the various safety options I brought up last night."


	25. kHz

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 17. kHz**

If hindsight was supposedly 20/20, Misa would sadly admit that maybe she wasn't born with it, at all. Because she certainly couldn't have predicted what would follow her risky undertaking of duping Ryuuzaki himself to remove his own cameras from her apartment.

When he had mentioned precautionary measures to avoid any future incidents with her "stalker," Misa had assumed that she could sweet talk him out of anything too extreme. He was so busy dealing with Kira for her to imagine that he could spend too much time trying to enforce his demands. Besides, she was usually so good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

So, Misa found herself very, very agitated to find two rather well built men standing stoically and purposefully outside her apartment door mere moments after a rather heated morning discussion with Ryuuzaki over phone about bodyguards, privacy, personal space and proper protection.

One was to stay outside the apartment all day, while the other had been ordered to follow her where ever she went. The very thought of having a walking, talking shadow --one that wasn't Rem, anyway-- was enough to raise Misa's hackles like the fur on the back of a cat.

"Misa will not stand for this!" she swore to them in her doorway, wagging one dainty finger at them like one would a sword. "Go home! I don't need you!"

"We can't do that, ma'am," one said, though Misa was sure she wouldn't remember which one after five minutes. One overly muscular black clad man with a neck thicker than his head looked the same as any other you ran across as far was she was concerned. "We have our orders."

Misa handled being told no the same way she always handled not getting what she wanted. With a screech and a slammed door.

Fuming, she growled underneath her breath, "Ryuuzaki won't have to worry about Kira, because Misa will _kill_ him the next time she sees him."

Rem, meanwhile, looked on with a rather placid expression on her face. Of course, it was all she could do to not smile, pleased. Entirely ignorant, Misa had fallen rather easily into a trap L had previously set. When the cameras had been planted in the apartment, Rem had wondered on a few of the placements. How a couple almost seemed to have been put in haphazardly. She had initially blamed this on the fact that the male con artist and female thief L employed had been forced to rush towards the end, as they had been given the call that Misa was on her way home.

However, upon later listening in at the headquarters L maintained, she had discovered that the less discreet cameras had been done deliberately. L had wanted Misa to find them all along. He had already known Misa's involvement with Light, and the rather precarious position that had put both Misa and L himself in. And while he hadn't made the cameras too obvious, in the hopes that maybe Light would visit Misa's home at some time, which had been the original intention of them, his ultimate goal had been to get Misa out of the equation entirely.

L had hypothesized that once finding the cameras, Misa would come up with the most likely conclusion of a stalker, considering her status and history. He would then be able to completely control the situation, and successfully plant two of his agents with her at all times. Having two "bodyguards" watch her every move made it impossible for the idol to go about freely. And the discovery of the cameras was the perfect excuse to have his men follow her about without actually having to hide their existence anymore, under the guise of protecting her.

A few people on the case had objected to the idea. One surprisingly enough being Yagami Light's own father. While he had initially thought it outrageous to get who he thought was an innocent bystander --unfairly deemed guilty by association only-- he later accepted the idea as the best way to once again try to clear his son's name. Suddenly making it impossible for Misa to do as she wished, particularly continue a relationship easily with Light, made Souichirou furious at L. He accused the detective of putting his own feelings before the case, acting more like a jealous boyfriend than an investigator. L had simply stated that he did not see how Misa's involvement was showing any progress in the investigation. It was if anything, endangering Misa unnecessarily, and if Light was truly innocent he wouldn't mind a little company on his dates.

The youngest on the case, Matsuda, joked that L had obviously never been on a date before, but quickly became quiet when both the quarreling detectives glared him down.

In the end, L had gotten his way, which wasn't surprising to Rem. There wasn't a single one of them amongst the group, even Souichirou, who could truly challenge his authority. So, it had become a waiting game on L's behalf when and if Misa would ever discover one of the cameras. It was ironic that Misa had known about them from the very beginning, aiding her time waiting for what she assumed was the perfect moment to "find" one, all the while only delaying the inevitable trap that L had for her. Rem had watched the whole thing with interest.

It wasn't that she had warmed up to L. The shinigami still thought him to be a tasteless little creature that was better off dead than meddling in Misa's life. However, if he had his way there was a very good possibility that Misa would no longer be able to see Light, and that ultimately allowed Rem to do what she had wanted to do for some time, but held back on only to spare Misa's feelings.

When the dust over everything finally settled, and Misa was sufficiently enough cut off from Light, Rem would kill him.

**ooooo**

To Misa chagrin, the two stocky bodyguards did exactly what they said they would. She couldn't go anywhere without one of them tailing her. And while it made some things easier (it was surprising how reluctant fans became to rush up to you when a man twice their size and weight loomed over them), it made having a comfortable life rather impossible. Even if Misa didn't care whether or not Ryuuzaki knew about her relationship with Light, simple conversations with everyone she spoke to became suddenly awkward.

Case in point, when Mamori called her as attempted to shop for new clothes. The moment the phone rang, her shadow was right there, blatantly staring over her shoulder to see who the caller was.

"This isn't any of your business, don't you think?" Misa demanded, face red in anger.

"Sorry, ma'am," he said, and Misa was unsurprised to realize she couldn't tell if this was the same bodyguard who spoke to her the first time or the other one. "I'm just making sure it's a number you recognize."

She huffed. "Like you would know. Besides," she added, "if it was an unknown caller, it would probably be your boss. Excuse me."

Without looking back, Misa turned on her heals, and walked straight into the women's changing room, walking into a stall and shutting it closed. She was relieved to be able to look underneath the door and see that the bodyguard had not followed her in. With a frown, she flipped open the phone. "Mamori, save Misa!"

The girl on the other end made a small, shocked sound, "Are you okay?"

"Not really. I have bodyguards now," she sighed, self-pityingly.

"Oh? Your agent finally thought you needed them?"

"Not exactly," Misa admitted, hesitantly. "Besides, that's not the point. The point is they're driving Misa insane! They won't leave me alone."

"That's kind of their job, Misa," Mamori said, with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Well, I don't like it," the idol pouted. "I want them to go away."

"If you really don't want them around, then just fire them," Mamori suggested. "Though, in your line of work, having one isn't such a bad idea."

"I don't care if it's a good idea," Misa said, stubbornly. "But, it doesn't matter. I can't fire them."

"Ah. So, ask your manager to fire them, or at least tell them to give you more space."

"I... " Misa stopped, and decided against telling her sister just how she had gotten the bodyguards in the first place. As high strung as Mamori could get, Misa could easily imagine her older sister panicking over the idea of cameras, and declaring that she was taking the earliest train to Tokyo. And really, Misa didn't want to disturb her sister's life. Especially not now, when it looked like Mamori was finally moving past their parents' case and on with her life. "I guess I could try. I don't think it'll work, though."

"It's for your own good, Misa," Mamori said. "They're there to protect you. Is that really such a bad thing?"

Misa slumped against the wall. "Depends on how you see it," she answered.

"Well, there are bound to be ways you can get some privacy," Mamori offered. "If there's one thing I learned about you, is that you always manage to get what you want if you try."

Misa's mouth quirked a little. "Mamori makes Misa sound like a spoiled brat."

"Yes, well..."

"Mamori!"

The older woman laughed softly. "I actually had a reason for calling you, you know?"

"Oh?" Misa stopped.

"Not everything is about you," Mamori told her.

"I I know that!" Misa stuck her lip out as if it could be seen through the electronic signals the phones were sending out.

"I wanted to let you know that I'll be visiting soon. In the next few weeks, most likely," she clarified.

Misa nearly dropped her phone. Here she had been avoiding anything that would make Mamori travel, while her sister had plans to do so all along. "What?"

"Don't sound so disappointed," Mamori said, flatly. "Don't worry. I won't be in your way. I'm going to be rooming with a friend, actually."

"Misa isn't disappointed, just surprised," Misa swore, though it didn't settle the butterflies that had began to flutter in her stomach. "Mamori doesn't like to travel much."

"No, I don't," Mamori admitted. "However, apartment hunting from afar never works out, as far as I'm concerned."

Misa blinked. "You're looking for an apartment? In Tokyo?"

"Yes. I think it's about time I leave here. There are much more jobs for a court stenographer in Tokyo. Also, it'll make us closer together, and that'll save my phone bill, that's for sure. Besides, I... I just don't think I can stay here any longer," she murmured. "I can't bear it any more."

The butterflies quickly dissolved, and were replaced by a familiar ache that Misa was hoping she'd never feel again. She couldn't blame her sister. Hadn't she run away from everything, too? "Misa understands," she whispered. Then, her voice brighter, she declared, "Misa will help find you an apartment! A really nice one where Misa can visit, and she and Mamori can have sleep overs like they used to when Misa visited Mamori at college!"

"I'd like that," Mamori said, a little bit of sadness in her voice, and Misa felt as if that gentle change of pitch reverberated through her body, its tone crumbling her down, and building her back up again, in one piece once more but now delicate and fragile. Her sister's pain could break her. She was so very tired of her family suffering.

"Well, let me let you go," the elder sister said. "I still have a lot of work to do today, and I'm sure you do, too."

Misa made a noncommittal noise, but finished the conversation. She stayed in the stall, staring at her phone as if it would give her the answer. In fact, she reflected, it more often than not had. Somehow, it always rang just when she needed it to, and sometimes when she needed it to stay quiet the most. And almost always, always, it had been Ryuuzaki on the other end. But he was not calling now, and even if he did he certainly wasn't going to be giving her the answers that she needed.

Maybe it was time she started making her own answers again. Ryuuzaki had asked her previously if she wished to be dominated, and more and more Misa was realizing that not only did she not, but she didn't need to. With determination, Misa dialed and waited.

She didn't have to wait long. "Misa? Is that you?"

"Light! Misa is glad you picked up," she said.

"I haven't heard from you for a while," he told her. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really. Light..." she took a deep breath. "Misa thinks that you were right. That we should stop seeing each other."

There was a pause on the other end, and she fully expected Light to be honestly shocked by her statement. "What? Why?"

"It's just like you said. It's probably not safe, and things are over Misa's head."

"Over your head?" Light repeated, sounding confused. "Misa, what's going on? What happened?"

Misa bit her lip, contemplating if she should tell him or not. She realized that it was not just Kira on the other end, but Yagami Light, star pupil, whose genius had gotten him comfortably into the Kira investigation itself. He'd find out sooner or later, anyway. At least this way it would be on her terms. "Misa found cameras in her apartment. Ryuuzaki-san removed them, but-"

"Wait, there were cameras?" he interrupted, and Misa noticed that this time she could hear the insincerity. He covered it up rather well in his next line. "Misa, are you okay?"

"Ryuuzaki-san removed them," she repeated, feeling different, but unable to put her finger on it. "But now Misa has bodyguards that he hired. If I see you, Ryuuzaki-san will know about it. So, it's probably better to not see each other anymore."

"Cameras... That's insane," he muttered, completely ignoring the rest of what she said. "Who would do that?"

"Ryuuzaki-san thinks it was a stalker. Misa had one before." She didn't mention how all three people involved knew that was the furthest thing from the truth, though. "That's why he gave me bodyguards, even though I told him I didn't want them."

"He's only trying to protect you, Misa," Light said. "I can't blame him, really. I probably would've done the same thing, if I could've."

"But Light sees why Misa and him can't meet anymore, right?" she asked.

"Not really. You're not ashamed of me, are you, Misa?" he questioned, amused.

"What? No, of course not!" she shook her head. He was still, after all, her hero. "Light is Misa's friend."

"Only a friend?" he feigned hurt.

She took a gulp of air, uncomfortable. Truly, her feelings liked to make her suffer. Another small ache, this time like a butterfly kiss on her heart."...Light is Misa's very _precious _friend."

There was a pause. "I see."

"I just..."

"Misa, if you let me help you, I can get you away from your bodyguards," Light offered, voice dripping with temptation.

"Really?" She didn't quite see how even Light could pull that off. The men Ryuuzaki had hired were professional in every way, and she doubted they'd be easy to trick.

"Sure. It'll only be for the day, but at least it's some freedom, right?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"One day, Misa," he requested, tone like velvet. "Just one more day. I'll tell you everything you're probably dying to know right now."

Something in the back of her mind didn't quite like the way he phrased that, but the appeal was too much to dismiss. It was her last chance to make her decision regarding the two men. Neither of whom were very worthy of her trust right now. But really, did she deserve theirs anymore? Hadn't she become just as big of a liar, and willingly so, all to try to play a game that was clearly beyond her abilities? It was time to do something about it all, instead of waiting and hoping that it would fall all nice and neat into her lap for her.

"Tell Misa your plan."


	26. Invincible

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated. 

**Rewrite**

**Theme 16. Invincible**

Random moments of cleverness aside, Misa would readily admit that compared to Ryuuzaki or Light, she was not the best plan maker. Hers tended to be impulsive and spontaneous, and didn't always lead to the greatest of successes. If they were successful at all.

That being said, Misa was quite capable of going through with a plan flawlessly, if she so desired. An actress always knew when to follow script, and when to improvise. And she was, if anything, a very good actress. With the circumstances being as they were, Misa concluded that in order to escape her two beefy consorts for a while, doing exactly what Light said, and when he said it, was in her best interest. For the time being, anyway.

Rem, quite naturally, disagreed. However, Misa was expecting that reaction, and had no qualms ignoring the death god's misgivings.

So, when Misa strolled out of her apartment, and pointedly gave both her bodyguards rather dirty looks, Rem followed behind her completely displeased.

To be honest, Misa herself wasn't thrilled with the situation, either. It wasn't for the same reason as her partner, however. In Misa's case, she was worried about how the plan that was about to unfold would pan out. It was simple really, but if she didn't move fast enough, showed one tiny bit of clumsiness, not only would she get caught, but Light would be, too. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves, and subtly glanced at her watch. One more minute.

She, Rem, and the one bodyguard that had followed arrived at the elevator, Misa hitting the down button and still ignoring both her partner and the man she considered more leech than protector.

The lights in the hallway flickered dimly for a few seconds, and the fire alarms went off, wailing at an ear piercing decibel, warning lights flashing in time. To her credit, Misa jumped and looked suitably surprised.

"Oh!" she turned to her guard, eyes wide. "I wonder if we really have a fire. Misa doesn't like the idea of dying in one."

The man frowned. "Probably some kid pulled the alarm. Either way, we'll have to take the stairs. The elevators won't work now."

They met up with the other bodyguard as they reached the stairway. By that time, the rest of the occupants on the floor were filing out of their apartments, evacuating the building as the alarm continued to sound. Since Misa's apartment was not on the top floor, there were already people in the stairwell to go down in a great rush. She, and her two rather broad companions had to push their way into the crowd. Misa petite as she was, was quickly shoved away from her attendants by people bypassing her.

"Amane-san, please don't go too far ahead," one warned her.

"Fine, fine." With effort, Misa held her ground on the steps against the throng, until she had managed to actually get behind her escorts.

"Amane-san, don't go too far behind."

Misa sighed dramatically. "You two are never happy! Here," she grabbed hold of one of the men's jacket. "Misa will hold on until we get downstairs. Okay?"

That seemed to satisfy them for a the moment, and they continued down a few more flights of jammed stairs without complaint. However, the moment the door for the fifth floor came into view, Misa deviated from the rest of the crowd, releasing her hold on her bodyguard, and making a dash to the floor's entrence. Thankfully, no one blocked her exodus, and she quickly slammed the door shut behind her. She frantically looked around her, already hearing her two shadows yelling. She had expected Light to meet her behind the doorway, but he was nowhere to be found. Instead, a doorjam laid inconspicuously on the ground. Nerves completely shattered, Misa kicked it underneath the door with all her might, and only dared to release the breath she'd been holding when it remained firm as her two guards shook the handle, and demanded she opened it immediately.

Misa literally jumped in fright when her phone went off in her pocket. Shaking, she pulled it out, and whispered in panic, "Light?! I thought you were going to meet me here!"

"Of course, not," Light responded calmly from the other end. "There's no reason for it."

He was right. If the guards had managed to get to her in time, they would've seen Light. L would've very quickly deduced who had thought this whole scheme up, and would probably use it as an excuse to put Light at least under a microscope until the Kira investigation was finally finished. Even if they managed to get to her now, Light simply calling her would prove nothing more than an unfortunate coincidence, at best. It wouldn't be possible to implicate him in Misa's plan to escape. But that didn't make her feel any better. His not being there had made her go from nervous to terrified, and now she didn't know what to do with herself.

"Ah, ah... Misa should go to the other stairwell now?" she asked, taking shallow, raspy breaths.

"Stay where you are," Light instructed. "Wait for one hundred seconds."

Not understanding, Misa still did as she was told, not knowing what else to do. Halfway through her count, the banging on the door stopped, and she could barely hear the muffled sounds of her two escorts talking, before their solid footsteps could be heard going down the stairs.

"They're leaving?" she asked.

"Naturally," Light said, and she could almost see his smirk. "They probably assumed you ran to the other side of the floor, and took the opposite stairwell. They've run down to try to cut you off over there, I'm sure. It's not surprising. They're nothing but hired muscle. Now, finish the count. You've got twenty seconds left. You want to make sure they're out of the stairway so they don't hear you enter it."

It took all of Misa's willpower to make sure she did indeed count to twenty, and not skip a few seconds. Still, the moment her time was up, she bolted down the stairs like there really was a fire in the building, nearly tripping a few times in her haste. Behind her, Rem flinched and frowned at each stumble. Her human could be quite graceless in certain circumstances.

Once at the bottom, Misa poked her head out and into the lobby. Taking a quick glance around, and not spotting either of her guards, she ran to the back exit of the building. Light had said that since most people would be exiting from the front, she'd have a better chance getting out unfettered from the rear entrance. He was proven correct again, as hardly any of the occupants of the building were leaving that way. A few gave her an odd look as she rushed past them, but she paid them no mind. She was so close to freedom, what did she care what other people thought?

Bursting out the doors, she spotted the taxi waiting just like Light said it would be. As she got close, she saw a young man with a hoodie on, the hood over his head and shadowing his features. He turned to her just slightly, a smile on his lips.

"Misa," he said, smoothly. "Care for a ride?"

**ooooo**

"That was exciting," Misa said, after the cab had arrived at their destination of Toh-Oh University. "But Misa would rather not do it again."

"I can imagine," Light said, his hood still covering his face as he walked past her on to the campus grounds.

With a frown, Misa followed. "Why are we here?"

"It's Sunday, so almost no one is around. In fact, I'm going to take us to the rooftop of one of the buildings I take classes in. We can talk freely there," he pointed ahead of them. "And I doubt anyone will think of this place to find you right away."

"It would be an awful shame if he fell from such a height, wouldn't it?" Rem remarked drily, giving Misa an unapologetic shrug when her partner glared at her for a moment.

Once on the roof, Misa found her nerves returning with avengence. She still didn't know just what Light wanted to talk about. Light himself seemed preoccupied with the view, walking over to the edge of the roof as he pulled his hood back, and stared out into the sky. With the sun over head, he looked more like a god than a human to her, standing so confidently, like there was nothing and no one in the world that could defeat him.

Well. Almost no one.

"Misa," he began, not turning to her. "You told me that you knew that Ryuuga- No, _Ryuuzaki_ was on the Kira case, like I am."

"Yes," she nodded. "Ryuuzaki-san's been Misa's friend for a long time now. He investigated for Misa's parents."

"Ryuuzaki did that?" he sounded interested. "I'm surprised he got involved. I'm even more surprised he didn't succeed."

"Ryuuzaki-san said he was a fan of Misa's. And my sister told me that a lot of evidence was damaged by the police at the crime scene on the night it happened, before Ryuuzaki-san started." She saddened, not liking to bring up bitter memories. "Maybe he would've been able to get him convicted if the police did their job."

"Maybe. Maybe not," Light offered. "How did you know Ryuuzaki was part of the Kira team, anyway? He seems to be pretty secretive."

Misa thought she felt her heart stop for a moment. She hadn't thought about that. She scrambled for an answer. "Misa isn't really comfortable talking about her relationship with Ryuuzaki-san."

"Ah," Light turned to her. "So, you're close?"

She reached up to twirl a lock of hair, fidgeting. "Well..."

"Close enough for him to tell you something he's probably told no one else in the world."

"Um..."

"I'm curious as to what you think of his involvement on the case," he said, suddenly changing the subject.

She blinked. "What?"

"It's just that whenever we talk about justice, or the law, you don't seem to like our judicial system much."

"Well, Misa isn't really a fan," she admitted. "She thinks it fails too much."

"Like with your parents?"

"My parents were good people," Misa said, a little bit of righteous anger in her voice. "They deserved to have their murderer be put in jail, and he wasn't."

"You said Ryuuzaki tried. And he's brilliant."

"Ryuuzaki-san's smarts can't fix the police's stupidity!" she snapped. "They messed up everything! If they had done their jobs right, Ryuuzaki-san would've been able to get the evidence he needed. It was their fault Misa's parents never got justice."

"Never?"

"Hm?" she titled her head.

"Remember? I read the news reports about it. I thought Kira killed the man who was suspected of murdering them."

"He _was_ the man that murdered them," Misa corrected him. "And yes, Kira killed him."

"And that's not justice to you?" Light asked.

"...Misa thinks it is," she said. "But Ryuuzaki-san thinks differently."

"And you think that since Ryuuzaki is smarter than you, he's right." It was a statement, not a question.

"Well, not _right_, but Misa can see-"

"What if he's wrong, Misa?"

"What?"

It was then Misa realized just how close Light had gotten, his face mere inches away from hers, eyes boring down her own. Close enough to kiss her. Or close enough to grab her if she tried to run away. "What if he's wrong? That his logic, though seemingly sound, has inherit, undeniable flaws?  
"Think about it. On paper, the system is set up to work in the people's best interest. But how often does that actually work when in practice? More and more frequently the guilty are getting sentences that are pathetic compared to the crime committed or, like in your parents' case, never sentence at all. And why? Because the system has too many loopholes. Too many ways for it to be corrupted and abused by people who know how to do it, and the lack of morals to go through with it.  
"Oh, there are people like Ryuuzaki, who believe that the law should be the ultimate way to punish criminals, and the talent to make sure that it does. But people like him are few and far between in this world. And can you really trust a system seemingly run by idiots?"

Misa laughed, nervously. "Light sounds more like a Kira supporter than investigator."

He backed away, coughing. "Maybe. I suppose I've gotten a little frustrated as of late with the investigation itself. It's getting nowhere."

"Kira is very smart," Misa offered.

"Yes, he is. But, we'll get him eventually. I hope you won't think too bad of me when that happens," Light added.

"Misa would never think badly of Light. But she'll still be kinda sad," she admitted.

"You really are a Kira supporter, aren't you?"

"Now, now. Those are just rumors! Misa-Misa has never made an official statement on the matter," Misa winked.

He chuckled. "I suppose I can understand. Kira has the power to cleanse the world of anyone who he thinks is defiling it. He has a clear vision, and is carrying it out without anyone really being able to stop him. He's even perceived as a god to some people who've become otherwise jaded with what the world has become. They even go so far as to worship him. He's crowned himself king. You could even say he's been crowned by others who agree with his ideals, and is ruling with an iron fist."

Misa turned away, a bitter smile on her face. "Of course, he's missing something, you know?"

"Missing something?" Light repeated, genuinely curious.

She gave him a sidelong glance, and said conspiratorily, "A queen. He's missing a queen. Don't you think so, Light?"

He lifted a questioning brow. "That's a rather dangerous thing to say, Misa. Kira already has avid supporters. That's threatening enough without him having someone share his power."

"Misa doesn't think people who believe in Kira are bad," she frowned. "They just think his justice is right."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean that they can't go overboard with their loyalty," Light explained. "Kira is very particular about who he's punished so far. If a zealous follower goes past just worshiping, and starts committing murders themselves, then what?"

Misa felt her stomach drop, the world spinning a little.

"And what if someone who didn't really follow Kira just used him as an excuse to kill people they didn't like?" he continued. "Like people who were bullying them? Maybe even their parents?"

"Then that type of person would be punished by Kira for sure!" Misa's head snapped up, her expression burning with rage. "Good people would never kill their parents! Parents are precious, and irreplaceable. Kira would never allow someone to use his name as an excuse to do something so awful."

Light gave her a small smile. "You're probably right. Kira seems like the type to make sure no one sullies his ideals. But that doesn't make him right."

"Why not?" Misa asked.

The forceful question actually took Light aback for a second. "Pardon?"

"Why can't Kira be right?" she clarified. "It's not like he's killing innocent people. He's only punishing criminals, people who've done horrible things. People who've made other, good people sad. How is it wrong to make criminals pay for what they've done if the justice system won't?"

"But does one person alone really have the right to say what punishment is correct?"

"It's not that Kira is the only one to think what he does," Misa said, "it's just that's he's the only one who's able to do what most people think should've been done. That's why so many people believe in him. Because they think what he does is right. They just can't do it themselves."

"Ryuuzaki doesn't think that way."

It was a simple statement. One that Misa already knew. Still, it had the power to completely dowse the flame of her anger, making her feel very small and uncomfortable.

"Ryuuzaki firmly believes that true justice is carried out by the laws already set," Light said, looking her straight in the eye. "That's why we have this investigation to begin with. To Ryuuzaki and the team, Kira is just another criminal."

"Misa knows that," she whispered, squirming a bit under his gaze. "But that's only because Ryuuzaki-san is so good at what he does. Ryuuzaki-san has the ability to make it work. But," she bit her lip, "not everyone can do that. Not everyone is as smart as Ryuuzaki-san. That's why Kira is needed. To make better the mistakes people who aren't like Ryuuzaki-san make."

"Ah, I see," Light looked up into the sky. "So, you think that both Ryuuzaki and Kira are right."

"Well..." she titled her head, pondering for a moment. "Misa never thought of it like that, but yes. Ryuuzaki-san is right, because when the system works the way it should, like he makes it, then good things happen. But Kira is also right, because the law doesn't work all the time, and bad people get away. So really, neither Ryuuzaki-san or Kira are wrong."

"I'm sure neither of them see it that way, Misa," Light offered. "That's why they're still fighting against each other. Neither will budge on their ideals. One day, one of them is bound to overtake the other."

She shivered at the coldness of the statement.

"When that day comes, who will you choose, Misa?" Light asked, his expression one of stone.

Her eyes widened, throat dry as parchment. For the first time in a while, the young man in front of her made her feel true terror. She had always thought, even through all the lies and tangled webs, that somehow she could find a way to keep both Ryuuzaki and Light alive. That she would come out on top, and bring about her own little fairytale come true, where she could have her hero safe, while still having Ryuuzaki by her side. But now, it was suddenly apparent that that would never be the case. Even without her involvement, Light and Ryuuzaki --Kira and L-- would never agree to leave the other be. They would never see the other as a true ally, but as a nemesis. Someone that needed to be eliminated. And eventually it would happen.

Misa didn't even realize she was crying until Light reached out to wipe the tears off her cheeks, his visage much kinder than before.

"Sorry," he said. "That was a rather loaded question. Forget I asked it. Come on, I'll take you home. I'm sure you have your bodyguards and Ryuuzaki frantic by now."

Through her tears, Misa laughed a little. "Ryuuzaki-san never gets frantic."

"Maybe," he smiled. "But I'm sure he's definitely not happy."

"Now that," she smiled ruefully, "Misa believes."


	27. Fence

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline (I really can't justify the "AU" label anymore.), and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated. Sorry for not posting this sooner. I would've (it's already on LJ). However, sick Kat is very sick. Trick or treat, indeed. Well, my trick. However, your treat (so to speak?), is that you might want to go back to chapter 26, since I extended the ending a bit. It flows and ends a bit smoother to me now.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 25. Fence**

When Light told Misa that Ryuuzaki would not be happy, she had no doubt. But her idea of him unhappy mainly consisted of him calling her, and giving her a rather stern talking to over the phone. Maybe even giving her an extra bodyguard.

It did not include Ryuuzaki actually showing up at her apartment with an extremely perturbed look on his face, telling her that they needed to talk.

And it certainly didn't include the clear irritation that laced his usually gentle tone. "Misa-san," he looked down at her, for once not settling on her couch but opting to stand, "do you have any idea of the stunt you pulled yesterday?"

Misa feigned nonchalance, shrugging. "Misa only went out for a little bit."

"_You did not_." He frowned. "You deliberately evaded the two men I hired to protect you, and disappeared for nearly four hours."

She sighed, sitting on her couch with a mug of tea in her hands. "I don't like them. They're stifling."

"It's not a matter of you liking them," Ryuuzaki countered. "You have them because you need them."

"Misa doesn't think so," she muttered.

"You seem to have forgotten the cameras that were housed here," he said.

"I didn't forget," she huffed. "I just don't think we need to go so far as bodyguards."

"And what would you have, then?" Ryuuzaki challenged.

"Well, Misa isn't sure," she admitted, taking a quick sip of the hot liquid to settle her jittering nerves she was trying not to show.

"That would be because my plan is best," he said. "A plan that would work better if you followed it."

"I already told you, I don't want that protection!" Misa yelled.

"You can't always have what you want, Misa-san," he shoved his hands in his pockets with force, as if trying to hold back. "You have to accept what you need."

"I don't _need_ bodyguards, then!"

He actually seemed to twitch. "Misa-san, you have a stalker. Bodyguards are the least you need."

"Misa will get a dog, then," she said. "A big, mean dog who will bark and scare people away."

"You don't like dogs," he told her. "And would you really be able to take care of something like that with your schedule?"

She frowned, not liking his point. "Misa will think of something else. But not a bodyguard."

He sighed. "For the last time, you need them."

"Misa doesn't want them!" she repeated, heatedly.

"You're acting like a child!" His voice was actually beginning to raise.

"I am not! You're being too stubborn!"

"I'm being stubborn? You're being entirely unreasonable!"

"Misa is not! It's Misa's life, and she should be able to choose what she does and does not want. Misa doesn't understand why Ryuuzaki-san is trying to force them on her, anyway."

"Because I'm trying to protect you!" he shouted, leaning down to grip her shoulders, nearly spilling her tea in the process. "I'm trying to protect you the way I know best. Why won't you let me do it?"

Misa blinked a few times, shock taking away her ability to speak. Ryuuzaki had never yelled at her before. Had never even gotten angry at her before. He was always in such perfect control of his faculties. She didn't know how to respond to this sudden, unreal outburst.

Ryuuzaki himself seemed to realize just how he was behaving, and released his hold, backing away a little. He shook his head, expression befuddled. "This... is a very odd situation, Misa-san," he finally said, sounding much more like himself as he started chewing on the end of his forefinger.

"O-odd?" she parroted after finding her voice again.

"I don't really have arguments," he admitted. "At least, not angry ones."

She looked at him skeptically. "Ryuuzaki-san has never gotten angry?"

"Oh, I get angry at times. But I never yell," he explained. "I find it counterproductive."

"You yell at Misa just fine," she pouted.

"You make it easy," he retorted. "Though, it's still rather unsettling."

"Yelling at Misa is unsettling for _you?_"

"Yelling at all is unsettling. I already told you, I do not see the point in raising my voice, when keeping a calm tone and speaking rationally gets the job done much better." He looked at her, finger now tapping his chin. "But you make me... " He suddenly stopped himself, hands back in his pockets. "The bodyguards stay."

Misa slammed her free hand down onto the cushion she sat on. "Ryuuzaki-san!"

The doorbell ringing made her already frayed nerves go completely undone for a moment, and Misa jumped at the sound. With a bit of a huff, she went to see who was at the door. She'd never had anyone visit at the same time as Ryuuzaki. Perhaps it was simply a delivery.

However, Misa found it wasn't even close to as mundane as that, as she looked through the peephole and saw Mamori on the other side.

She turned to Ryuuzaki, paling a little as she whispered, "It's Misa's sister."

"Oh," he said, dully.

She frowned at his lack of reaction. Didn't he know what this meant?

"Misa?" Mamori called from the other side, ringing on the bell again. "Misa, are you home?"

Misa looked to the door, and back at Ryuuzaki. "What should Misa do?"

"What do you mean?" he asked. "It's your sister, isn't it? You should answer her."

She stared blankly at him for a moment, not quite understanding his indifference. Then, deciding that ignoring her sister wasn't really an option, Misa opened the door.

"Ah, there you are," Mamori said. "I was wondering if I had stopped by at a bad time."

"It's never a bad time for Mamori," Misa offered a shaky smile, giving her sister a quick kiss on the cheek. "Come in."

Mamori's own smile seemed to fade the moment she walked in and spotted Ryuuzaki across the room.

"Hello," Ryuuzaki said, twittering his fingers in way of a greeting.

"Um, hello?" Mamori replied, tentatively. Turning to her sister, she asked, "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Oh, well-" Misa fumbled.

"Of course, not," interrupted Ryuuzaki, as he began to walk past them. "Misa-san and I were just saying our goodbyes for the day. Don't mind me."

"Ah. Um, my name is Mamori," she said, moving a little to get in his way. "I'm Misa's older sister. And you might be?"

"Otani Shin'ichi."

The name went past his lips so easily that it was all Misa could do not to scoff outright. It wasn't even the name he was using at the university!

"It's nice to meet you, Otani-san," Mamori smiled. "You're a friend of Misa's?"

"I'm her boyfriend, actually."

Again, said so easily that Misa almost felt the room sway around her.

Mamori herself looked rather stunned. Slowly she faced Misa. "Your secret boyfriend?"

Misa had the urge to run to her room, hide under her covers and wait until it was all over. Instead, she gave her sister her best smile, and nodded. It was all she could do.

One of Mamori's brows raised. "I... see."

"Well, I'll be going now," Ryuuzaki said, casually walking to the door. "I'll talk to you later, Misa-san. Mamori-san, it was a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," Mamori replied, perplexed. When he finally did leave,the older Amane descended upon her sister. "_That's_ your boyfriend? No wonder you keep him a secret!"

"Mamori!" Misa pouted. "That isn't very nice."

"Well, I don't mean to be rude, but he's not quite your type," Mamori said. "I expected him to be a bit more... presentable."

"Ry- Otani-san looks fine," Misa replied, recovering the best she could.

"He looks like he hasn't slept in days!"

"He can't help it. He just looks that way," Misa defended, knowing that Ryuuzaki probably could help it if he wanted to.

"Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter," Mamori sighed. "As long as he treats you well."

Misa thought back on their recent argument, how angry and insistent he had been. She also remember the reason as to just why he had been so furious in the first place. She wondered if he had shown that anger back when he had first heard of her little escape. Had she worried him so much that he had been simmering about it all the way until he had shown up on her doorstep? To know that she could actually cause someone who was usually in such control to slip a little made her own stubbornness regarding the situation budge, if just a little.

"Sometimes he's a little pushy," she admitted. "But Misa knows his heart's always in the right place."

Mamori gave her a stern look. "Okay, I'll find that an acceptable answer. For now," she added. "Now then, I had thought just dropping by your apartment would be a big surprise. I just didn't expect a surprise back."

Misa laughed. "Well, Misa is very surprised that Mamori is here. And very happy! This means you're here for a place to live, right?"

"Yes, though it seems you may not want me around very often if when I do move here," Mamori smirked.

The younger girl flushed bright pink. "O-of course, Misa would want Mamori around! Don't think that way! Misa and Otani-san aren't- I mean, we're not... "

"To be perfectly honest," Mamori interjected, "I'd rather not know." A rattling beeping came from her handbag, and she fished out a cell phone, reading the text she'd just received. "Dammit!"

The shout made Misa pull back a bit. "Mamori?"

The ponytailed woman looked up, furious. "I can't believe it. I really can't."

"Misa doesn't understand."

"A murder case I was just assigned to, "Mamori said, face stern. "The defendant was found dead of a heart attack this morning. The police are already suspecting Kira. Maybe the trial date just wasn't quick enough for dear Kira to wait for."

"Oh. I see."

"This is the fifth time he's done this on a case I've been following!" Mamori fumed. "It's damned frustrating."

"Misa supposes... " the blonde's voiced trailed, hoping that her sister would drop it.

She didn't. "Does he really think he's helping anybody? At this rate, we'll have serial killers everywhere," Mamori snorted.

That got Misa's attention. "What?"

The older sister sighed. "Think about it, Misa. If Kira keeps killing all these people, some before they even get to trial, and no one catches him, what do you think is going to happen?"

"Um," Misa frowned. "Bad people will stop doing bad things."

"Wrong," retorted Mamori. "Bad people, as you say, will always do bad things. It's how they're wired, Misa. Some people like to kill, and there's no amount of fear in the world that can stop them. And once they kill, they'll start thinking to themselves, 'Well, if I ever get caught for this, Kira might kill me. If that's the case, might as well take as many people with me as possible!'  
"Someone who may have committed murder only once will decide that they're as good as dead anyway, and kill even more. They'll come to the conclusion that if they're going to go out, they might as well go out big."

"Mamori doesn't know that," Misa said, tone weak.

"Kira hasn't stopped murder yet, has he?" Mamori questioned. "And he never will. Because he can't. Because there will always be murderers. There will always be people who do these things. Kira can kill murderers._ Kira can't kill murder._"

Misa frowned. "So, Mamori still thinks Kira is wrong?"

"I don't think it. I know it."

"Mamori thinks L is right?"

"Absolutely," Mamori nodded. "Taking the law into your own hands isn't justice, at all! And in the end, it's counterproductive."

"So, you don't think Kira and L could ever get along?" Misa asked.

"Of course they couldn't," Mamori shook her head. "They have entirely opposing views on how the justice system should be handled. Kira thinks he _is_ the system! Neither is going to compromise."

Misa's face crumpled a bit. "Do you think Misa is a bad person because she thinks they're both right? That she doesn't want L or Kira to be caught?"

Mamori looked confused. "I don't see how that makes you bad, Misa."

"It's just that Kira made the bad person who killed Mom and Dad go away, so he's my hero. But L is a good person, too," she sniffled a little, trying not to cry. "He punishes criminals, like Kira does. Just differently. They both want justice, so Misa doesn't understand why they can't get along."

"Because Kira's way isn't justice to L," Mamori explained, not understanding why Misa was so upset over the matter. "And to Kira, L's way is too faulty."

"But they're both good people," Misa insisted. "So, they should be friends. Good people shouldn't want other good people to die!"

"It's not that simple," said Mamori, placing a hand on her sister's shoulder. "This isn't just about death, Misa. This is about moral standings."

"That doesn't matter! It _should_ be simple. It is to Misa!" the girl cried. "Kira will always be Misa's hero. But now that Misa knows more about L, she knows he's a hero, too. So, they should just realize that they don't need to fight, and then both Misa's heroes would be safe."

Mamori frowned. "Misa, is there something going on that you want to tell me?"

Misa shook her head, frantically, but reached to hug her sister at the same time. "I'm not feeling well. Can you stay the night? Have a sleep over?"

"Sure," the older woman patted her gently on her back. "You know I won't leave my little sister all upset."

"Mamori is a good sister," Misa murmured. "I'll be better tomorrow. Promise."

"Promise?"

"Yes. Because Misa is going to figure everything out tomorrow. You'll see."


	28. Excessive Chain

_Disclaimer:_ Death Note is owned by Tsugumi Ohba, and Takeshi Obata. Neither of whom are me.

_Author's Note:_ This fic was originally written for the LiveJournal community of 30 Kisses. I lost the claim to it, but oh well. It shall be finished! We could all use some L/Misa love, let's be honest. This is an alternative timeline/AU/whatever you want to call it, and dabbles with the idea of Misa meeting L before Light. Mature reviews are always appreciated.

**Rewrite**

**Theme 13. Excessive Chain**

True to her word, Misa seemed to be in a much brighter mood the next morning. She even got up early to make herself and Mamori a special breakfast. Unfortunately, the end result was some over salted and runny eggs, and some pieces of burnt toast. Misa mourned her cooking failure with a great deal of childish flair, and Mamori, both amused and used to her baby sister's talent of _not_ having any real cooking talent outside of sweets, suggested that they go out to eat instead.

They ended up at Misa's favorite cafe. Usually, the idol would don her usual disguise to make sure she could eat in peace. However, Ryuuzaki had made sure that her bodyguards made a reappearance in her life, and the one that had shadowed her and Mamori was quite effectively keeping any curious bystander at bay by his mere presence. While Misa wasn't very pleased at the idea of her bodyguards scaring away fans (who knew the rumors that could start on the internet from that?), she was begrudgingly grateful for some time alone with her sister.

That was, until the questions began.

"So, this Otani-san," Mamori said between bites of a bagel slathered with cream cheese. "Just where exactly did you meet him, anyway?"

Misa pretended to be very interested in the low fat bran muffin she was nibbling on. "Um, does it really matter?" she asked. "We're looking for an apartment for you, right?"

"Oh, yes. We are. After breakfast," Mamori added, leaning in. "And this _is_ breakfast. So, while we're eating, I think we can discuss other things."

"What if Misa doesn't want to discuss that other thing?" the blonde asked, not making eye contact.

"Then you're probably not going to enjoy your meal very much," Mamori dryly answered.

Misa frowned. "Mamori is a very mean sister."

"Not mean. Just curious," the older woman corrected. "I mean, you've mentioned this secret boyfriend of yours for months now, but never gave me a name, or anything. I think I deserve a few answers now that I've finally bumped into your mystery man."

"There's really nothing much to say," Misa insisted.

"Oh, really? Judging merely on his looks, I'd say otherwise." Mamori smirked at her sister's frown. "But I'll start small. Just how did you two meet?"

Misa strategically chewed a piece of muffin, swallowing it very slowly. She obviously couldn't tell Mamori the true way she'd met Ryuuzaki, as that would send her sister into a fit of rage, and she'd be bombarded by questions she simply was not prepared to answer. Misa wondered for a moment if her bodyguard would give away the lie she was about to say, but then decided he wouldn't. After all, he either worked for L, and knew better than to say anything, or far more likely had no idea who he real employer was or what he looked like. Either way, it was safe to come up with any reasonable story she could. "At one of Misa's modeling sessions."

Mamori blinked. "He's a model?"

The idol nearly choked, quickly taking a sip of water to stop herself from coughing rather unlady-like. It didn't, however, stop her from laughing incredulously. "Oh, God, no! No," she repeated, shaking her head. "Otani-san is behind the scenes. _Very_ behind."

"Oh? Ooooh," Mamori nodded, as if something clicked. "So, he's got a nice, cushy job in the business. Like a producer, or something."

"Something like that," Misa said, thinking that really, Ryuuzaki was rather like a producer in his own way.

"Well, I can understand not wanting anyone to know about a relationship with someone like that," Mamori stated. "I'm sure there would be people in industry, as well as the media who would claim you were only with him to make a name for yourself. Especially with those... _interesting_ looks of his."

"There is nothing wrong with Otani-san's looks!" Misa said, defensively. "He just has his own style, that's all."

"I've seen homeless men with that exact same 'style,' Misa," her sister remarked.

Misa shrugged. "He just doesn't like to stand out, that's all."

"Well, he's doing a poor job at looking inconspicuous," Mamori laughed. "If anything, it's almost impossible not to stare at him. I mean, I know the old saying 'you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince,' but it looks like your Otani-san never bothered to transform."

"Misa doesn't know," she pouted deeply. "She doesn't mind the way he looks."

Mamori smiled, knowingly. "That's because you're used to it. Trust me. He's unique, to say the least."

From behind Misa, Rem's face was a grim mask. The past few days had been a rather emotionally exhausting and frustrating time for the shinigami. She liked neither L or Kira, but she reluctantly admitted that they were both dear to Misa in their own ways. It was just that the whole thing was coming to a rather ugly head, and she more than a little curious to hear where Misa finally stood on it. If she had even come to a decision, as it was. The death god never could predict just what was going on in the girl's head. It would probably not stop Rem from her ultimate decision of killing Yagami Light. He was clearly the more dangerous of the two men, as Rem had no doubt that, unlike Ryuuzaki, Light had no true emotional attachment to Misa, and would therefore get rid of her when it would be the most opportune. However, if Misa showed favoritism to Light, it would have the potential of delaying his inevitable demise at her hands. Rem had no intention of doing the deed in a manner that would give Misa an inkling that her partner had anything to do with the boy's death. Misa was a rather oblivious person about a lot of things, but there were also times where she was frighteningly astute.

"But that's what makes him interesting," said Misa. "Because he's not like anyone else I know."

"You really do like him, don't you?"

"I..." Misa's voice trailed, as she collected her thoughts. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Mamori's eyes narrowed. "Do you love him?"

The blonde's head whipped up. "That's not easy to- "

"Oh, come on, Misa," Mamori sighed. "You're the most emotional person I know. Rational thought is usually not your forte. So, if you've stuck by this odd looking guy for so long, even though you probably could have your pick of any pretty model boy out there, I have to say the answer is kind of obvious by now."

Misa frowned. "If it's so obvious, why did you bother asking?"

Mamori shrugged and grinned. "Because I want to hear it. You do, don't you?"

Juvenilely, Misa took another bite of her muffin instead of answering. Mamori chuckled.

Finally, Misa responded with a bare murmur, "He's... Misa's most precious person. And that's all I'm saying," she loudly added.

For the most part, that seemed to satisfy Mamori. It also satisfied Rem, somewhat.

**ooooo**

The first day apartment hunting turned out to be a rather embarrassing ordeal for the Amane sisters. Almost without fail, when the two entered the apartment and waited to be shown around, the landlord or a tenant would come flying over with either a camera or pen and paper, nearly cornering Misa for her time. Even her bodyguard didn't seem to have the intended effect until he had already grabbed the offender and asked them to back away. It wasn't really surprising, when they thought about it in hindsight. Mamori had refused to except any money from her sister for either a better apartment than she could afford on her own salary, or even a condo. Mamori was determined to make it on her own. This meant, however, that all the places they went to were not housing the well to do people that Misa was used to in her own complex. So, instead of her just blending in along with the rest of the wealthy people, she stood out like a (very rich) sore thumb. Of course, Misa was never one to turn down and picture or an autograph- one most always be nice to fans - but it meant that most of their time was wasted.

At the end of the day, Misa and Mamori agreed that the next day they did this, Misa would either wear her disguise or simply not come at all. This simply would not do if they wanted to find Mamori a place to live before she had to go back home.

Misa had suggested that Mamori spend the night again at her place, but this time Mamori convinced her sister that they'd both be better off if Mamori stayed at the hotel room she'd rented.

"Don't want to waste it, after all," she'd said.

Reluctantly, Misa agreed. However, this left Misa alone with her thoughts in her apartment.

Well, not quite alone with just her thoughts.

"Misa," Rem said. "Just how long are you going to drag this out?"

"Drag what out?" Misa asked innocently, walking into her room and closing the door, knowing that the two sentinels outside her apartment wouldn't be able to hear her.

"This situation with L and Kira," the shinigami looked disapproving. "It's not safe."

"Rem didn't seem to mind it so much at the beginning," Misa said, crossing her arms and glaring.

"Remember that I initially didn't even want you to know L's true identity because I didn't want you involved in such a mess. But my hand was forced," Rem sighed. "And at the time, I thought the matter would be settled far more quickly, and with a lot less complications. But that's my fault," she admitted. "I keep forgetting just how much humans love to complicate matters. Nothing excites them more than living dangerously."

"Misa does not like to live dangerously," the girl said. "It's just that this isn't easy."

"It never is with you."

Misa threw her hands up. "Rem will never understand! She's a death god, so she doesn't care about anyone, because they're all just there to kill so she can stay alive, anyway."

Rem cocked her head. "That's almost true."

"Almost?" Misa repeated, confused. "Killing people adds the rest of their life span to a shinigami, doesn't it? Misa is quite sure she remembers that rule."

"Oh, it does," Rem agreed. "But, the fact of the matter is I'll never use my Death Note to kill _you,_ Misa."

The girl blinked. "But, you're supposed to. It's part of the contract."

"It is a part of the contract, that's true. But that doesn't mean I ever have to do it," Rem explained. "That is up to my own discretion, and I have chosen not to act upon it."

"Misa doesn't understand," she furrowed her brows. "Why wouldn't Rem do it, when she's supposed to?"

The death god let out a deep sigh. "Because, Misa, humans are not the only ones who have feelings. They are also not the only ones who can form attachments."

Misa's eyes widened a bit at the statement, and Rem wondered if the girl truly understood what she had meant. Truly, Rem did not know how one properly confessed their feelings to another. She was quite certain that Misa's way was a bit too confusing for her own taste, but maybe that would've been a better course of action. Or maybe she shouldn't have said anything, at all. Even if Misa understood her, it didn't mean she would accept it. In a few seconds though , it was clear to the shinigami that she did not have to worry about rejection of any sort, because Misa grinned ear to ear, and clapped her hands. She hadn't gotten it, at all.

"Rem is a very good friend," she said. "Misa knows she doesn't always show it, but she hopes she is a very good friend for Rem, too."

Stopping herself from sighing again, Rem said, "Misa, this still does not settle your decision on what is to be done."

"Why can't Misa just do nothing?" she asked, smile gone.

"You can do nothing. I'm sure eventually L or Kira will succeed in defeating the other without your help. However," Rem eyed her. "It might not necessarily be the one you truly want to win. And you might not necessarily live to see the end of it."

Misa bristled. "Ryuuzaki-san and Light would never kill Misa! What an awful thing to say!"

"Is it?" Rem challenged. "Even if L and even Kira decided that your life should be spared, what of Kira's partner? Ryuuk is always one to think of ways to make things more interesting. And you, Misa, have made things very interesting for him thus far. But if you were to suddenly stop interfering in L and Kira's little game, I somehow doubt Ryuuk would find that entertaining."

"And you think Light's shinigami would kill Misa for being boring to him?" Misa frowned.

"Not just for that, but also because he would probably love to see the reactions of the two men you've entangled yourself with," Rem said. The death god knew that, unlike her, Ryuuk was no longer in possession of his Death Note, and couldn't act upon any whims he may have had at the moment. There was no need to tell Misa that, however. "As far as Ryuuk would be concerned, it's the least you could do for no longer being part of this little game."

"It's not a game."

"It is to him. Human life has always been a game for us."

Misa involuntarily shivered.

"Misa, at breakfast this morning you said that you loved L, did you not?" Rem asked.

"I never said _that,_" she muttered.

"You called him your most precious person," pushed Rem. "Is it not true?"

Misa floundered. "Well- "

"Is he more precious than Kira?"

"Kira is very precious!" Misa cried. "Kira is my hero."

"But is L more precious to you than Kira? Is he?" Rem demanded.

Misa seemed to cave in on herself. She didn't like this confrontation, at all. Didn't like the idea that choosing was something that she really had to do, whether she wanted to or not. Her fairytale outcome was not meant to be, and the reality of it all left her shaking. Somewhere deep down, she knew that this was coming. That she would have to make a choice, and a move. But she kept hoping that, if she delayed it long enough, that maybe a better option would pop up. However, it didn't look like that was going to happen any time soon.

And still... _But still..._

Misa stormed past Rem, out her bedroom door, and marched to her apartment entrance, swinging it open. The two bodyguards turned around, both looking a little surprised at her dramatic flourish, but she didn't really care.

"Misa wants to speak to your boss," she told them.

"Pardon, ma'am?" one of them said, unsure.

"Your boss," Misa repeated, insistent. "I. Want. To Talk. To. Him."

"Ah, well, we don't really-"

"Misa doesn't care how you do it," she waved her hand. "She knows you have to have someway of contacting him. A person, who knows a person, who knows a person... It doesn't matter. But make sure he knows that Misa wants to see him tomorrow. And if he doesn't show up, Misa will be very upset and she'll ditch you two again!" She slammed her door before they could respond.

Behind her, Rem frowned. "Just what are you doing, Misa?"

The girl took a very deep breath, and faced the shinigami. "Misa is... not sure. But she thinks she's making a decision."


End file.
